Friday, November 30, 2007

Last dance...

I've made it through NaBloPoMo. And truly, the shit only hit the fan towards the end. I nearly managed to squeak out a full month of non-whining. I vow to keep up the upbeat nature....starting tomorrow. But first I just need to throw it out there that my cable isn't working (no channels. Not even your basic shit). I therefore may need some entertaining this weekend. Anyone want to volunteer? Or, maybe I should throw out there....anyone new and exciting want to volunteer? The cable breaks every year because they have some seriously janky wiring outside (are you surprised?). I'll probably end up breaking my tightly crafted budget to fix it (there's supposedly some work in my area. I'm doubtful).

Other than that I am "chipper" today. I turned off the bad attitude and feel much better. Spinning forward if you will....

So are you all going to miss me when I go back to posting irregularly? No? Didn't think so.

I just want you to know that if I had any photographic skill at all, I'd be posting everyday in December. Maybe the sister can convince her superbly gifted bf to take pictures of advent legoland everyday...

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Forward spin...

I'm having a rough time being positive today. I fall into this horrible trap of self-pity and then suddenly I've convinced myself that my life is a bleak tundra of nothingness. I woke up cranky, I got to work and had a long email chain of frustration with someone who just was not listening to me and I just couldn't stop the spiral. I started off the morning with the knowledge that my apartment was a curse and my paper cut was making life difficult and ended it with the thought that I had nobody.

It's all silly and I know it's silly, but damned if I don't get bogged down in it. It's sort of like hypochondria of life - I'm grumpy and unhappy today, so it clearly follows that my life must be shit. Stupid.

I decided today that my mood is all about spin. How can you spin that thing that just happened? Was it funny? An insult to you? Just something that happened? Proof that people suck? Or just a part of humanity that you should be patient with? And today I clearly lacked the ability to spin anyway but backwards. My email chain was not only a personal insult but also proof that people are stupid. Most days it would have just been another bump in my day and silly how easily we all misunderstand each other...

So that's where I am today. Spinning backwards. Tomorrow I have fingers crossed for either stand still or spinning forwards....

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

In which I break my own contract...

I said that I wasn't going to complain over the course of NaBloPoMo. And I think I've managed it so far. But I am having some seriously bad luck with my apartment and it's really hard not to bitch about it. Especially right now. I just got home to the smelliest apartment in the world. It smells like a dirty fish tank and death all rolled in a smelly foot. It's so strong its palpable. And that smell? Wafting up from the bare, soggy floor - which after they pulled up the parquet looks like a dirty, muddy collage of old, rotty tile (and a layer of oilcloth - which is some old shit). I can't believe my apartment didn't smell throughout this whole mess. I wish you could take a picture of smell. It is SO BAD I sort of feel like vomiting. My sense of smell has been causing me much pain lately.

Tomorrow or next week (those maintenance men are slippery, I have no idea when this is going on) they are pulling my whole kitchen out. Stove, sink, fridge, everything. I don't even want to imagine what they are going to find. And I don't want to imagine where they are going to put the stuff, this is not a large apartment. I might just start crying out of frustration and anxiety.

I told my sister that this has been the year of justifying my fears. I have never stepped on grates/manholes. Justified this year (not my story to tell, but just take my word for it). I don't like deep water (I don't much like water of any kind, except for of the shower variety)....and now water is proving to be the curse of this apartment. Water that ruins the walls. That overflows from my upstairs neighbors bathtub. That is leaking from parts unknown to cause bubbling tiles, fish tank smell, my cat to act like she's high (she's eating an ornament cord like it's some kind of delicacy) and this...

this disaster...if the smell didn't make me want to yuker all over the place, I'd pick up those pieces of cardboard to show you what lies beneath.

Not sure how I'm going to manage to eat meals here for the next few days. For tonight, I'm getting out of here...

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Continuing on...

A friend, Al, asked me how I am qualifying those friendships as unsuccessful. Do friendships that are successful have to last forever? And aren't I always the proponent of letting friendships go? (it is my firm belief that if you question the utility of a friendship, it's probably time to let it go)

This is an excellent question that I have no answer for. Those friendships were proof (to me) that men and women can't JUST be friends. Sure, they can be friends. But I think there's always some sort of frisson of sexual tension/romantic feelings on one end or the other (or both).

A friendship certainly doesn't have to last forever. But I think the end of a friendship sort of shows whether or not that friendship did have staying power (a big blow up fight? A gradual fade out? A proclamation that just being friends isn't enough?).

And in the end, most importantly, they weren't successful in that we didn't fight for them. Maybe because someone couldn't deal anymore. Or because the gleam of lust/love had faded. But either way, one or the both of us let it die - either fade or drop off the face of the earth.

I feel like I need to put it out there that I think those friendships were successful to a point (and some far more than others). They just, weren't successfully platonic. And they weren't successfully continued....

Monday, November 26, 2007

Long and winding post...

So here's the substantive post that I was planning for Friday. I'm not sure where to start, so let's just all accept that this is going to involve rambling and then I won't have to worry about it and I can move on. On Friday (or at some point last weekend) I was supposed to get together with an old friend. It fell through - probably due to equal amounts of busy-ness and reluctance. The planned get-together got me thinking though - about the nature of friendship between female & male.

I believe, in the past if you would have asked me, I would have firmly stood on the side of "men and women can just be friends! I've done it before!". I was silly. And wrong. I doubt the ability to have an entirely platonic relationship between a straight woman and a straight man. I concede that I've had friends, more like acquaintances who were entirely platonic. But here, here I'm talking good friends. Let's stroll down memory lane (I realized earlier, that all of my closest guy friends have had first initials that start with J or R. That's weird yes? Going for last initials here):

C was my bff for a very, very long time. Middle school through parts of high school and stretching a tiny bit into college. We were on again/off again best friends. I still miss him occasionally and dream about him often. In fact, I dreamt of him last night - I greeted him by fluffing his hair and just felt love. Our friendship started with him asking me out. I think I still have the note somewhere - it was the sweetest note ever. I said no. We went on to be friends. We had mutual attraction pretty much throughout our friendship and almost made out more than once. I used to make him hold my hand walking places. I miss C, but there was nothing platonic about that friendship. Not at any point.

Then there was B. Please don't find me conceited...but B desperately loved me. And I loved B, I just wasn't in love with B. Oh god how I tried - I wanted to be in love with him. He was perfect for me. But when you don't want to make out with someone? That's a problem. B and I were inseparable for a long time - probably an entire summer if not more than that. We kept in touch for a while and then it fell off again. We tried to get together and be friends a few years back - but something was lost. I think we'd both changed too much - and our friendship dynamic was impossible to recreate (why would he want to? I mean, unrequited love can't be fun). B once told me that if he had to, he would wait for me forever. Clearly he didn't. I totally have the IM transcript somewhere (yes, that was an IM conversation) and I promise to find it and embarrass self in the future with that conversation.

N was probably one of the friendships where I personally still think it's up in the air whether there was something non-platonic. I think everyone who knew us might sputter and say, um, hello, yes he loved you. But out of all of them, this one was the most platonic. N drove me crazy in a lot of ways - and ultimately our friendship ended after I was forced to spend all day every day with him for over a week. But we had fun and we spent a lot of time just talking. I was friends with N when I was really getting to know myself and I would be different if not for that friendship. He was the one I was supposed to see on Friday. I hope to stay friendly with him for a long time.

And finally W. W wasn't a normal best friend - we were mostly friends due to school and due to our mutual friendship with C. But in the end, that was enough to be close to him. And out of all of them, W was the one that I loved unrequitedly. All of my memories of him are just of us laughing our asses off. We spent a lot of study groups frustrating others with our uselessness and I almost got kicked out of my AP Calculus test because of him (he traced his hand on his test. I laughed out loud. I was chastised and told to look at my own test/be quiet or both of us would get the boot. Just FYI - he did better on that test than I did). I think way back when, I never would have considered him a best friend. But in retrospect, he was. I'd love to see that kid again. And pine for him from afar.

For some reason, I thought all of those friendships were successful. And they were in their own way - I mean, these are people I loved/think of fondly. But it's impossible to keep that kind of thing going - because someone is always suffering in silence and hoping for more. And I think there is a breaking point. Or just a fading point...

After much thought, out of all of my besties, none of us has done it successfully. Not a one.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Love actually is all around...

It's been the loveliest of weekends. Symphony on Friday, friends yesterday, christmas tree today. Chocolate pie, turkey, stuffing, deep dish pizza. It's just been entirely satisfying and delightful. I don't really want it to end.

My apartment feels cleaner. There is a slight (and when I say slight, I am absolutely lying. I mean HUGE) issue in the kitchen involving water leaking from somewhere unknown causing all the parquet tiles to buckle and water to bubble out between the cracks. I believe this is going to result in my landlord pulling out my entire kitchen. Probably next week, possibly Monday. I'm trying not to think about the many disasters that are sure to come. Impending doom.

Let's think about the tree instead, shall we?

Saturday, November 24, 2007

And she twinkles...

My post title has nothing to do with this post. But my tree is standing, just needs to be fluffed, decorated and plugged in. All on hold until tomorrow.

Last night I went to the symphony - we saw John Williams conducting some of his movie music (and the theme for the NBC nightly news). I love the symphony. When I have a bit more money, I'll seriously consider trying out one of their varied season ticket offerings. I just love the sound of it all blended together. And there is something chill-inducing about hearing the Star Wars theme live. That is music I grew up to and heard repeatedly. Star Wars was one of our favorite childhood games (I was Bacca to my cousin Bee's Chew. Neither of us wanted to be R2D2 or C3PO, so we shared Chewbacca). My cousin pretending to be Luke with his hand cut off/getting it stuck in his shirt is probably one of my favorite (and only) childhood memories.

I enjoyed all of it. Superman, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Memoirs of a Geisha. It was all good.

I'll be going to the symphony again in a few weeks (Welcome Yule!) and I hope to visit the CSO at least once a year in the future...

Friday, November 23, 2007

Drunk dial the second...

I had a real post planned (may be put off until Sunday). Then I looked at my cell phone and saw I had missed a call from my cousin, Bee, at 2am this morning. Luckily, I had a voice mail. A hilarious voice mail. If only I could post the audio here.

My cousins, the whole lot of them (well, the one family that we're really close to), are notorious drunk dialers. I've had more drunk voice mails from Bee than anyone. This morning, she called to say happy thanksgiving, that she loved me, that she's sorry we didn't see each other. Then she went into this whole thing about how one of her friends, who I know fairly well, wants to marry me. And how she had told him (oh giggling just thinking about it) how pretty I was in "makeup and jewels". Then she put him on the phone and he made less sense than she. Then my uncle got on the phone and I heard how much he loved me. Then cousin is back and she says "____ just said he's going to marry Katie lastname". And hung up.

Ah, Happy Thanksgiving to me. What more could I want from my favorite cousin/family than a drunk voice mail?

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving...

Ah the day of turkey and being thankful. I'm going to go ahead and tell you some of the things I'm grateful for. But before I do that, I think you should all know that this is my 700th post. I have written 700 blurbs of inanity for this blog. Some of you have read all of those. So I'll go ahead and start with that...this year I'm thankful for:
  • You readers
  • Friends and family...loved ones in general
  • Having shelter, food, warmth
  • My job
  • Chicago
  • New beginnings/hope
There's my short list...I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I'm hoping for relaxing and tasty....

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

And in this moment I am happy...

Pretty sure I've used that post title before. On this Wednesday before Thanksgiving, I'd like to take a moment and jump up and down for joy - this is the two year anniversary of my last day of work at soul sucking insurance job. It seems like it all happened so long ago. But it's only been two short years. I am so glad (and thankful) that I had the resources and support to quit that job.

Most of the ways in which I'm different have been slow in coming. And I think it's mostly been a progression that no one much notices. I am happier. I am far more easy-going. I am more stable. I am better off.

In the end, I guess I have to be glad I went through that whole thing. It made me understand what it feels like to be stifled. And I don't want that feeling again.

My apartment has been...plagued with problems. All of them water related (me and water? enemies.). I have a very real fear of mold and I need to get out of this place soonish. But I love this apartment, it is home. And I refuse to move to another place in between. Which is why I lust for a condo so badly...but I can't afford it. And the sister said, well, someday you'll land a job that will pay the big bucks. And my fear is...that job, that job that pays me a lot of money? Will that job stifle?

Tuesday, November 20, 2007


I accidentally just ordered a hell of a lot of expensive food for dinner. Why? I don't know - because I couldn't stop thinking about olives at the gym. Then I got home and looked in my little CEO Deliveries thing to see what they offered and Ba Ba Reeba sucked me in. I have a massive amount of garlic potato salad on its way to this apartment. And no olives (wtf?). I cannot wait...oh garlic potato salad.....

My Christmas tree is taunting me in my foyer, all smoky (you suck little brother) and wanting to be put up. Here is my ode to Christmas tree's past:

College, 402 E. Stoughton. Our house was junky. Our tree was seriously trashy (white strands of light? That's classy), real tree, sporting tinsel and foam decorations:

First year in the apartment, no cats, real tree, tinsel (I loved that crazy long branchy arm):

Second year, cats (which means no tinsel). Cat can be seen under the tree:

Last year, aw...sad, fake tree (it just got a a bit taxing to get that real tree out the back door):

Per the green book, real trees are better. Not plastic (bad stuff to make) and they're renewable.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Music is my boyfriend...

How catchy is that little ditty?

I wrote about 10 different blog entries on the walk home from the gym (8 of them skewing dirty). I'm going to run with one of the ideas, but first here are two things that I found weird today:
  • Girl next to me in the gym, reading the glossary of a book. I imagine this is her finals' studying technique? But...I think it's pretty bad, because what good is a definition without context?
  • I wrote this TERRIBLE paper for my capstone class. I mean, it was regrettable. The only good thing about it was my research, which was seriously good. I got a really good grade and my theory that the quality of education at my school is bad? Justified.
On the walk home I was trying to figure out what I was going to do tonight, my first night of freedom in a few months. My train of thought follows:
  • I think I'll do a little jig.
  • Aw, remember when I used to dance around my room to my theme song senior year of college and Janet would laugh at me?
  • I need a dance-y theme song again.
  • (here's where I tumble into the gutter of my mind) Well, shit, if I ever get laid again, my theme song should be "Do It" by Nelly Furtado.
  • Good plan. But maybe I should only make that my theme song if I'm consistently hitting it.
So there you have it readers, this is the usual for me. As for theme songs (if you're wondering, what kind of freak has a theme song?), what I mean is...any song that you seem to be playing repeatedly at a certain time of your life. Right now I have two that I can think of. One that I am going to hold close to my chest - not for embarrassment but for...privacy? The other is Possibly Maybe by Bjork (but only if the lyric is "possibly NO").

Sunday, November 18, 2007


Two updates to previous NaBloPoMo posts:

My drunk dialing friend not only drunk dialed me twice within a few minutes, but also another friend. Other friend even said that her drunk dials ended up as two nearly identical voice mails. So, the drunk dialer apparently lost all ability to remember what she had said/dialed just minutes previously. Sort of hilarious. And also a possible explanation for why she didn't call me yesterday (did she not remember or is it embarrassment?).

Someone asked me to explain the context of "brazen hussy." I was talking with a friend about how I wished she had been at my birthday celebration. Accidentally seeing Go-Go boys in a gay bar was eye-opening (in more ways than one). Learned a lot about people I've known forever. I described myself as the "brazen hussy" of the group (although after some thought, I think we have a pretty even split of brazen hussies and prudes). Anyway, I wish everyone (maybe every woman...) I know had been there so that I could learn where they fall on the brazen hussy/prude spectrum.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

The drunk dial...

Ah the drunk dial. I think I may have gotten to a point where I'm just too old and too bad at sleeping to receive the drunk dial (it may have helped if I didn't have the 8am deck builders breathing down my neck). Although my drunk dial experience last night didn't make me angry - I giggled about it. Here's what happened..

Friend called when I was deeply asleep (I woke up wondering what was wrong). She asked me if I was asleep. I said yes. She said, OK, I love you and then said "_____ hates me". I said, "huh?" (sleepy non-comprehension). She said she'd call me tomorrow and then we said bye. 10 minutes later she called again. Asked me if I was asleep. My response was "ye-he-he-he-hesssss" (I think I sounded like a whiny grade schooler). Then she said, OK, I'll call you tomorrow.

Love her to death, but...I'm an old lady. It takes me a long time to fall asleep. I had people who were going to wake me up at 8am shouting and sawing wood. I'm no fun anymore.

I tried to remember if I had ever been a drunk dialer. I think I did a fair share my sophomore year of college and then it tapered off. And most of my drunk dialing was just long, rambling voice mail messages...I wish we still had copies of those...

Friday, November 16, 2007


Once again I'm lacking in ideas for this post. But I will soldier on and again, give you two little bulletins.
  • Tonight, rather than deal with responsibility or see the friends, I'm going to watch a movie and most likely cry.
  • Here is a picture where I not only look crazy but a bit like a vampire. Maybe I need to rein in that laugh:

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Post title eludes...

I've got nothing for you guys today. Here are my two sad attempts at a post:

I smell funny today - sort of like a pine tree that fell into a vat of laundry detergent. It is actually quite pleasant. I should let all my clothes rot in the back of my closet since that is where this shirt came from (I'm going to have gone approximately 26 days without doing laundry - everything is going to be pulled out of the closet, next week there might be some gems. The craziest thing about this is that my underwear supply is not even getting low yet and I'm on day 19 already. I have too much underwear).

It's not often that you get to use the phrase "brazen hussy" in a real conversation and it's even more delicious when you're talking about yourself.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Judgment, the finale...

And in the end, we agreed to disagree.

The thing about that judgment conversation is that it can go on and on and on. Friend and I could talk about it forever and the sister and I ended up at an impasse. Because the sister and I? Polar opposites.

Where I am soft, she is hard and where she is soft I have thorns. It's shocking that we can get along at all. I do believe she would hate me if she wasn't forced to look for my nicest qualities.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007


So the judgment thing totally stormed up the sister. I should wait and respond tomorrow but I feel a little stormed up myself.

I understand that in "real life" I'm always going to be judged on what I'm wearing and how I smell and the last thing that came out of my mouth and of course, this post. Human nature categorizes, true. I understand that I'm going to be judged. Fully. Completely. Life without judgment would be chaos, yes?

What that post was about - about recognizing all the times I was going to be judged and I was going to be judging. And I decided it was uncomfortable, I was uncomfortable with what was happening and was uncomfortable with how a friend was thinking she was going to be judged. Not because of what the outcome would be, but because it's always disconcerting to be on the chopping block (or to think you will be). And because it's hard to see bits and pieces judged (one thing you thought?) and not want to defend yourself and defend the whole.

Obviously there's good judgments, the judgment of someone who decides to know and love you in the right kind of ways. And of course that judgment is lovely - once all the "initial getting to know you" judging is over, the result was happyland, the result was love. But I think we can all agree that getting to the point of comfort with someone, getting to the love - well that can be spectacularly uncomfortable, because you have to jump those judgy hurdles.

And anyway, judging can also suck ass, I mean, I'm not going to go into specifics here, but come on! We've all had the experience of someone who we love/loves us be totally judgmental and awful. And that's no good. And I don't want to be OK with that. That's complacency.

Not feeling so wonderfully competent with the words tonight - this is a real life conversation to be had, not a blog post.

Possibly maybe...probably no...

It irks me that that is not the real lyric. I like mine better...probably love?, suck it Bjork!

So I've noticed that in these past few days, at least once a day something comes up about judgment. Being judgmental, not being judged (as in: please don't judge me for what I'm about to say), judgy, judgy, judgy.

I have a friend who is obsessed with judgment and a loved one who is overly judgmental (loved one's own words, not my own). And so I got to thinking...if I don't want to be judged by the way I look or the content of this site or my first impression or my inability to speak or some poor decisions I've made or will make...what in hell do I expect people to judge me by?

I ended up with 'i don't want to be judged'.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Hat head...

I have a thing about my head.

I like to have it covered. I like a winter hat and on many days you will come into my office and find me in my cube with my winter hat on with huge, archaic headphones over said hat. I like to have my hood up (and, this is going to sound strange, I find that when I'm doing schoolwork or thinking hard I tend to cinch my hood and tie it). I like to put my comforter over my head to sleep (with my face sticking out).

I wonder what the psychology behind all this is? Mimicking the womb or something? I feel safer when the back of my head is unseen (since you know, when I sleep there are all those prying eyes cats)?

Just so you know - hair looks better after having been flattened by a hat. And you should all buy me trendy hats for Christmas so that I have no choice but to wear them.

Sunday, November 11, 2007


launched. You can now see what I'm listening to or did listen to.

I don't know why, but I always end up posting repeatedly on some days during this NaBloPoMo thing. It's like I can't get enough...

I feel I should explain my joining The truth is, it wasn't peer pressure or technological was total and complete laziness. Because as I sit downstairs at my kitchen table, my computer upstairs is playing music. And since I've been trying out loads of new music, I found myself not knowing what was playing half of the time. So, I needed some solution: I wanted my laptop to show me what my desktop was playing without all the bother of remote desktop. And bingo - did it!

Still looking for new music (even with my loads and loads of new stuff courtesy of the sis) so any recommendations will be considered

What I didn't do this weekend...

I didn't watch any TV.

Some of you may shrug - but for me, who loves to have the TV on at all times (adds a certain background charm) this is huge. I think I will have successfully not watched TV for 48 hours. And by not watched I mean, hasn't even been turned on.

I have been sitting in front of my computer though. And struggling over how to stay engaged with a project while I am completely and totally bored.

I don't think the boredom has to do with the lack of TV...more to do with the lack of anything interesting at all. I spent hours wasting time (and intermittently writing a paper) on the internet with fun new things (new to me at least - I've moved from bloglines to google reader and so have a new blogroll up and I jumped on to the bandwagon so you should see a widget appearing in my sidebar any day now). I also spent hours on etsy which is sucking my will to not spend money. Budget be damned! I need that [button, print, scarf, ornament, card, stationery]. I haven't bought anything, although my wish list is increasing exponentially.

Gotta go do something involving schoolwork. Project due on Thursday and another on Sunday and then I imagine I won't talk about school much anymore at all.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

My weekend begins...

Sadly for me, this weekend is going to be no fun at all. It is all my own fault and I accept that. I procrastinated so much on some projects that I have to write an 8-10 page paper, finish a homework assignment and at least start/get halfway through a serious data analysis project this weekend.

My current goal is to sit and finish those 8-10 pages today so that I can edit them tomorrow. I think I can do it. If I write at least a page an hour it'll be no problem at all. I'm about to clean off my kitchen table and create an actual work zone in the kitchen. Turn on some music, try to ignore the hammering of the deck builders and the pull of the couch.

I will be scholarly today.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Because I like you...

Last weekend it became evident that the women I know are all hyper-critical of themselves. We all love each other and think the other is beautiful. But when we see ourselves in a picture, it's all "wow my nose looks big" or "Look at my back fat" or "I always get that double chin". So today I'd like to challenge the women I know to find 9 things they like about themselves physically. I've already done the personality thing (see birthday post), but I think that it doesn't hurt to do that as well.

Here are my 9:
  1. I like my lips.
  2. And following that, I like my smile.
  3. I like my back dimples.
  4. And right underneath that, I like my ass.
  5. I like my chest.
  6. I like my eyes.
  7. I like my hands & fingers.
  8. I love my haircut.
  9. I really like being short.
Ok. I had a hard time there deciding if I should give more detail on each list item. I thought maybe that was a bit too much.

For my birthday, I got the green book. So every now and again I'm going to squeeze a tip into my post. Here's your beauty tip for the day:

Use bar soap instead of liquid wash. Liquid lasts longer, but it is more expensive per use when you calculate it out. If every US Household replaced a bottle of body wash with a bar of soap, roughly 2.5 million pounds of plastic containers could be diverted from the waste stream.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

I'm really not a delicious girl...

*title taken from an IM conversation earlier, suggested as a blog title by chat companion, CG. Parts of this blog post were suggested by CG. So thanks CG for squeezing a post out of me*

I've decided to try twitter. I've heard a lot about it on other blogs, from coworkers, everywhere. So I decided to play with it (you can see my status updates right over there <--). One of the things I liked about facebook was the status updates - I like to see what people are doing/thinking. So this is sort of an extension of that. I need some of ya'll to try out twitter so that I can have twitter friends (and at least see how that works).

Today something weird happened to me at Dominicks. On the way in, someone got in my little quarter of the revolving door with me. A stranger. It was highly uncomfortable and weird. Is standing alone in your quarter of the revolving door a cultural thing? Because he was speaking a foreign language. To his friend who was in the quarter behind us. Why didn't they share?

*does it make more sense to you if you read it: i'm really not a girl

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Lazy contentedness...

Currently sitting on the couch, with a warmer in my lap (Mona) and some Top Model on TV. I had a really great day and evening. I have a few ideas of what to blog about in the coming days (so many left), so tonight I'll go ahead and tell you about my dinner.

I tried Vietnamese food tonight. I tried a few dishes, but really only liked my meal (claypot chicken). I proved to myself that I don't really like beef (yuck, texture) and that I am very unsure about duck (but really, really didn't like the duck dish). However...oh man the fried rice was SO GOOD. I already have plans to order out. Yum.

The dinner was with family members (sister, cousin). I think it's always interesting when people think it's uncool to hang out with your family members. As if family members can't be friends. Or why would someone ever want to hang out with their Mom? Well, I'm here to remind you that your family members are people and that they can be kick ass people who you want to be friends with.

What a boring, useless post. I wonder if this will continue through the rest of the month...

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

I huffed and I puffed...

And I got my fitness assessed.

It was actually thoroughly interesting and worth the 30 something dollars I paid to be told I'm fat. She didn't actually say that. But she did comment on my percentage body fat. I got on this weird machine (a body composition analyzer) and it basically spit out all this information. That machine thinks my body fat percentage is in the desirable range (I guess the machines like me better than the real people). So, here I am broken down by the Tanita TBF-410:

BMI: 25.2

This is slightly funny to me because from 19-25 is normal, but 25 and up is "overweight". How on edge am I there?

BMR: 1378 calories.

I'm still not 100% sure what this means. But I think that's how many calories I should take in each day to break even. So if I wanted to lose weight, I'd eat less than that and move more.

Impedance: 561 Ω

This means nothing to me.

Fat%: 28.8%

My fitness assessor says to be "fit" I probably want to get to the 20-25% range, that those numbers are more acceptable. I'm not dying or anything. But that percentage could go down and I'd be better off.

Fat Mass: 37.2 lbs.

Yes, that is the amount of fat dragging me down. I'll go ahead and take off a few pounds for my boobs which I can't seem to do anything about...

So. There you go. I also found out that I am much less flexible than I should be and that I cannot do any push-ups AT ALL (ok, I did 5. Then my arms shook and my body screamed a high pitch pain scream, so I stopped). I also learned that the treadmill is my enemy and that I HATE running. However, it turns out that the treadmill and I are better than I thought, because my "vo2max" is actually slightly above average (vo2max is just an indicator of cardiorespiratory endurance). At least one of you is shocked by this and so am I. I guess walking all over the place and sporadically using the elliptical paid off.

Anyway, I now have a weight routine and some advice on what I should do. I'm probably not going to start really trying to get into it until after the quarter is over (I'm deeply behind on my projects and am probably going to do some dishes and procrastinate tonight). So here's what I've been told to do:
  • Cardio 4 times a week, for at least 30 minutes
  • Serious weight routine 2 times a week.
These two can overlap. I'll keep you all updated on my fit adventure. Maybe a few months into the routine I can meet with the trainer again and get assessed again.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Gimme, gimme more...

So what happened Saturday night? What happened indeed....I think the quote of the night that sums it all up for me is:
Where is his penis at?
Yeah. Here we go...

My request for the birthday night out was to go to dinner somewhere and then dancing. From my few trips up to Andersonville, I knew there was a bar that had booming dance music on Clark. We went there first and it was more like a normal bar with booming dance music. No actual dancing was taking place. However, the atmosphere was pretty good and we stayed for a few drinks.

Then we decided to try out some other options, see if we could find dancing. I just wanted to dance with my girls. We ended up across the street at a different bar. When we walked in someone was singing and I thought it was karaoke. It wasn't. It was some kind of...revue. Dancing and singing people. They were highly entertaining and we enjoyed it immensely. One of us even found her dream career (revue background dancer). I'm intentionally avoiding naming names here because I think my other two companions are a little more embarrassed with the turn the night took than I am. After the revue, go-go boys. What's a go-go boy? A nice word for a stripper that doesn't take off his underwear (mostly, I saw some ass and so did you if you clicked on that picture in the last post).

It was...hilarious. And creepy (we were in a gay bar, so there were some very creepy moments involving old men and go-go boys). And HILARIOUS. I giggle just thinking about it. The two friends I was with...I've known them forever. And seeing us all react to the situation and take it was eye-opening. I tend to forget how open and unembarrassed I am about that kind of stuff. I guess I should feel like there's a taboo about talking about sex, penes, lust, boobs, etc....but I just don't. Especially not with these two girls.

And the question of "what makes a man be a go-go boy?". Well my answer to that's his choice. It's his choice to let those creepy old guys fondle him (tmi?), it's his choice to parade around in his tighty...grayies? Who am I to judge him or wonder if the money is worth it? That's not my place.

I am leaving out a whole insane part of this story. Tighty gray pants boy? Went to our high school.

When I was in high school I think we had a graduating class of less than 200? I have no idea...but I think our school in total was less than 1000 people. And out of those 1000, one of them happens to be dancing in his skivies in the bar we randomly ended up in? Crazy small world...

Sunday, November 04, 2007

You know what that means...

Justin Timberlake. Febrezed hair. It's like senior year of college all over again. Drunk Katie is somehow the most drunk when she gets back to her house, alone, and therefore sits and drools over Justin. All of this after she has Febrezed. Because smoky hair smells like ass. Must admit though, it's MUCH harder to Febreze short hair - my new hair cut isn't handling the night out all that well.

Tonight Happy birthday to me. Technically this post could be my November 4 post. But I refuse to cheat. Although depending on the level of hangover tomorrow....we'll see.

Check in some time tomorrow (no promises, but probably) for a post about me , Al and Katy's night out in Andersonville. You will NOT be disappointed.

Two extras for you:
  1. Cry Me a River Justin is done. Lovestoned Justin...IN. If he releases a new live concert DVD in the next 2 months, that bastard better be in my stocking.
  2. This picture...this says it all (you should pay close attention to ALL details):
I am drunk. How should I amuse myself for the next hour or so?

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Day 3...

Amazingly, I feel like I'm already running into a wall - what to write about on this third day of many days of blogging? Here's what I've been thinking about this morning:
  • If only I could eat cake for breakfast every morning...
  • Is there social etiquette that dictates how I should/if I have to respond to all my facebook birthday messages?
  • Spinner has cancer??!!?!?
  • I wish I could put my Christmas tree up now...
So I think I'll leave you all and either knit or write about VoIP. I'm probably drinking again tonight (that's 3 weekends in a row) so maybe I'll have a fun story tomorrow. I did try to find a "hoochie" shirt at Kohl's to wear tonight. The only shirt I liked had some bra issues. All the rest of them were so amazingly cleavage prone that my Mom was repeatedly amazed by my ample bosom. Maybe I'll manage to write about my chest every day this November.

Friday, November 02, 2007

26 things that I like about me...

Yes, you read that right. I am going to go ahead and extol my own virtues on this day, my 26th birthday. Some of you random readers may find this conceited, self-centered, egotistical? This is not the case...I just wanted to do something with the number 26. And since I am still on a crusade to improve my self-esteem, this is the list that made most sense to me. This is probably going to be a full day project. So I'll be updating sporadically. 26 is a daunting number of things to like...
  1. I'm a really good listener.
  2. I have solid work ethic and sometimes enjoy working hard.
  3. My boobs, while large, are fantastic (come on, you didn't think this would all be G-rated did you? And you know you stare at my chest sometimes).
  4. My sense of humor is wide and quick to trigger.
  5. Sometimes I can be witty.
  6. I am fairly easy-going
  7. But I know how to be confrontational when need be.
  8. Sadly, I'm on number 8 and I'm running out of things to say. But I am tenacious (that's my 8).
  9. I can be happy doing the simplest things (like knitting, or sitting here on the computer with Mona trying to fit on my lap with the computer)
  10. I actually like to learn (most of the time, if it's interesting).
  11. Silliness comes easily to me.
  12. I don't settle.
  13. The next 5 are courtesy of Janet, who is amazing and decided to help me out: I am a loyal friend.
  14. I'm honest without being hurtful.
  15. I think for myself and don't just follow trends.
  16. I care about the environment.
  17. I've got a great haircut that suits me perfectly (thanks Janet! I heart you!).
  18. Sometimes, like when I wear workout pants, I think my butt is really nice.
  19. I think in a lot of things I do have "faith" that everything will be OK. My nature can be optimistic.
  20. I am tolerant of almost anything (although screaming children can get under my skin).
  21. Lately, I tend towards cheerful (and I hope to keep it that way).
  22. I excel at laziness. And I like that I'm good at it.
  23. My imagination is quite overworked and my day dreams are amazing. Sometimes so realistic that I make myself cry (that's crazy, yes?)
  24. Following this, I have a lovely imagination but I am realistic in almost all things.
  25. I dance and sing around my apartment at night.
  26. I love animals.
That was hard.

You all are more than welcome to agree with me in the comments below. If you disagree....well, i guess you're also welcome to do so. But remember, it's my birthday and you all should be nice. Closer to 30 than 20 now...

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Welcome November...

It's NaBloPoMo time! This time around it will be particularly interesting. I work full time now and go to school full time, so a lot of these posts may be related to one or the other. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on the slant), coworkers are finding this blog. It's not hard. I haven't hidden it or anything. So I'm just going to have to be careful with how I talk about things.

I do think I'm in a better place than last year though, so maybe instead of a whole bunch of complaints I can be mostly positive this year. That'll be my NaBloPoMo goal. Here are my two rules:
  1. No whining or complaining about anything.
  2. Negatively slanted stories that have a modicum of humor will be allowed (imagine I get trapped on the El or something. That's a story but also a complaint. I'll just have to watch my phrasing).
So come visit katie + blog = fun? during November and feel the love...