Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Possibly maybe...probably no...

It irks me that that is not the real lyric. I like mine better...probably love?, suck it Bjork!

So I've noticed that in these past few days, at least once a day something comes up about judgment. Being judgmental, not being judged (as in: please don't judge me for what I'm about to say), judgy, judgy, judgy.

I have a friend who is obsessed with judgment and a loved one who is overly judgmental (loved one's own words, not my own). And so I got to thinking...if I don't want to be judged by the way I look or the content of this site or my first impression or my inability to speak or some poor decisions I've made or will make...what in hell do I expect people to judge me by?

I ended up with 'i don't want to be judged'.


  1. I think it's that we (as people, in general) don't want to be judged SOLELY on those things. I don't want to be judged just on my physical features, just on my blog, just on my music collection.
    Then again, I could be full of shit - the more I think about it, I don't really want to be judged on my whole person either. Cuz let's face it, I just don't want to be judged at all. No judging, just loving.
    It's what I want, but not at all what I do.
    Tricky thing this judgement thing ...

  2. Hello, really? I understand that I am being judged all the time, and I'm okay with. Sure, it TOTALLY sucks when you're judged as not being fit for a job (recent experience) or whatever, but it's a part of life. Everything we do is about making judgments. Which food should I eat. What should I read. What should I wear. Who should I be friends with. Do I love this. Do I hate that. What are my dealbreakers. Is this job right for me. Life is a series of judgments, and we can't help but apply that to people. If you weren't judgmental, you'd be friends with everyone, including the stalker serial killer guy lurking out there.

    We make judgments to protect ourselves, and sometimes we make bad judgments, but we're still doing it. And sometimes it gets really bad, and we judge people for the wrong things, but again we're still doing it, no matter what. I'm comfortable being judged on who I am, even if it means some people don't want to be friends with me, or don't want to hire me. I'm certainly not comfortable being judged on the basis of my weight, or on my color or gender. But those things happen too, and I HATE it, and I deal with it, and I know that sometimes, I do it too.

    You can't ever live a life without judgment, and on the whole, I think I'd rather be judged worthy of love than just be randomly loved by people. People who know and love me need to judge me to get to the point of loving me, and that's okay. I'm okay with that. And vice versa. The people I love should unreservedly know that I sincerely love them, because I've searched for and found something in them that I love. There's nothing at all shallow about that.

    Judgment, to conclude, isn't always shallow, and there is something very valuable about it.

    (Sorry to ramble, but this got me all het up.)

  3. When I think of judgement, the word tolerance comes to mind. I may judge someone to not be someone I would like to spend a lot of time with for "what ever reason" but I would exercise tolerance in not damning them for the "what ever reason". When it comes to love I think tolerance is not even a strong enough word. Unconditional love is strong enough to make judgements lose strength. I may not agree with my loved ones politics at times, what they read, listen to or what they like to eat but I do not think any less of them because of it. I think it's about focusing on the whole rather than each others human differences and frailties. We are all different and when I look at those that I love, they are all differently wonderful.

    I don't do things so people judge me as something...I do things because my inner being tells me to do them. Sometimes I think my inner being could use a kick in the ass but I am human. I hope that my loved ones can love me despite that.