So the judgment thing totally stormed up the sister. I should wait and respond tomorrow but I feel a little stormed up myself.
I understand that in "real life" I'm always going to be judged on what I'm wearing and how I smell and the last thing that came out of my mouth and of course, this post. Human nature categorizes, true. I understand that I'm going to be judged. Fully. Completely. Life without judgment would be chaos, yes?
What that post was about - about recognizing all the times I was going to be judged and I was going to be judging. And I decided it was uncomfortable, I was uncomfortable with what was happening and was uncomfortable with how a friend was thinking she was going to be judged. Not because of what the outcome would be, but because it's always disconcerting to be on the chopping block (or to think you will be). And because it's hard to see bits and pieces judged (one thing you thought?) and not want to defend yourself and defend the whole.
Obviously there's good judgments, the judgment of someone who decides to know and love you in the right kind of ways. And of course that judgment is lovely - once all the "initial getting to know you" judging is over, the result was happyland, the result was love. But I think we can all agree that getting to the point of comfort with someone, getting to the love - well that can be spectacularly uncomfortable, because you have to jump those judgy hurdles.
And anyway, judging can also suck ass, I mean, I'm not going to go into specifics here, but come on! We've all had the experience of someone who we love/loves us be totally judgmental and awful. And that's no good. And I don't want to be OK with that. That's complacency.
Not feeling so wonderfully competent with the words tonight - this is a real life conversation to be had, not a blog post.