Thursday, March 31, 2005

Oh the drama... was dramatic today. I had a man be a real jerk to me and then forward his jerkiness to my boss/owner of the business in order to prove I was wrong or something. Really, all it did was make him look bad (or so I like to tell myself). But come on, that was totally rude to bring the big man into the thing. I wonder if I'll get in trouble...the worst part of this is that two of our underwriters were involved in the situation but I was the "bitch" actually sending the emails to the guy, so it looks like I'm the only one involved. Ugly, ugly people.

On Saturday I have to attempt to corral Boks and Mona into a carrier and get them to the vet. Because Boku has some ugly reddish brownish bruisy looking area around where her spaying happened. And Mona is just going along for the ride so that I can get all of their shots and stuff at one time. It might cause a breakdown if my plan to get her in the carrier doesn't work. Two break downs in a month span could be a little much.

Oop, time to make myself some dinner....french toast or pancakes??

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

As big as my head...

A few things today that could be/were bigger than my head:
  1. Spider that I killed earlier
  2. Hail from this big scary storm
  3. Piece of chocolate I polished off. What Easter candy?
I was told today that I should create a wish list like my sister so that you all can buy me random presents. So I've added it to my sidebar. Lets see how that goes.

Nothing much else is new. I may have poisoned my cats with pretty daffodils. I love the daffodils. How can I just throw them away?? No place in this house is cat proof...I think I have no options. Stupid easy to poison cats. What's next, cats allergic to wood?

Anybody know where to meet a cute single boy without putting out any effort and without having to change my habits/schedule/lifestyle at all? What? Doesn't exist...damn, maybe I should follow Janet's lead and meet a boy online. Oops, except she hasn't been fun and shared the details with us. Online do I feel about that...

Monday, March 28, 2005

Back to sane...

So everyone needs a mental snap every now and then and last night was mine. I was trying to remember the last time I had a breakdown, and I could not remember. I think it was a year or two ago and I think that time I snapped at my sister. So every couple of years I have to breakdown. You know, to stay healthy and sane. So I'm back. I still get a little upset when I think about the happenings of last night (no details, two words: poo juiciness), but I have a thing with my hands being clean. I wash my hands probably 7-8 times a day which is probably more than normal. I also keep that sanitazing hand stuff at my desk and do that about a billion times. I think I could be a bit OCD. So the hand last night, pushed me over the edge.

In other news, I have no other news. My big excitements for the day were:
  • The stain remover worked and my sheets are not ruined.
  • I managed to clean off my dining table and I serously plan to keep it that way. It looks SO nice with my daffodils. Wonderful and springy.
So, no need to worry cyber-friends (HA, my geekery is stunning), I love my cats, I will be at work tomorrow.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Its all downhill...

Being with my Mom all day and celebrating Easter was really great. I saw my family and friend Katy and felt happy and at home.

And then it all went downhill from there. I don't think I can go to work tomorrow because the worst most gross thing just happened involving my cat. I'm really not going to go into it but it was horrifying and it caused a breakdown and now I'm avoiding my room. All I can say is that my clean sheets, my wonderful sheets that I was so excited to put on my bed are no longer clean and I don't really know what happened but I did get a little hysterical. This is when it would really help to have a washer/dryer in my apartment. Don't get me wrong, I love my cats, but I am not sure how i feel about Mona right now. I feel bad because she knows i'm upset and is all flat-eared about it, but ugh!! And to make it worse I have a throbbing headache. I don't want to use a sick day but honestly, i'm not going to be able to sleep for a long time because i'm so wound up.

I was going to write this wonderful entry about all the things you forget about on a daily basis, so i'm going to try to continue with that since I have nothing else to do and I can't face my bed.
  1. Being with the mom, even while she is cooking is wonderful. Just quiet happy time.
  2. Seeing the old cat is great but saying goodbye to her was still hard. I still felt like an abandoner.
  3. Traffic sucks ass. Sunday, Easter night and it took me about 2 hours to get home. I hate Chicago traffic.
  4. Radio is horrible. I tried for almost an hour of my two hour trip to listen to FM. I found that you can hear spanish music, followed by R. Kelly singing about sex in the kitchen, followed by polka and yet there is nothing good to listen to.
  5. I ended up listening to talk radio, listening to Tom Skilling talk about weather and I remembered how truly terrifying tornados are. Even more so when its in weather man lingo.
  6. My family will never stop being crazy. They will also never stop talking about my crazy grandma. And it will probably always be amusing.
I was hoping to calm myself down there, and while I did a little, I'm still very upset. This is why I was saving my sick days though, when something unexpected and totally rotten happens. I was prepared for the expected with my cats...but definitely not for the unexpected. Ugh. I think I have to watch some TV and try to pretend I'm not freaked out.

Friday, March 25, 2005

Da da da da (trumpet fanfare)...

Today I went to Victoria's Secret to get myself measured and buy some bras. The trumpet fanfare is for my boobs, who have gone down a cup size (in most bras) since the last time I was measured. Yay boobs!

For those of you who know me well, the size of my chest has been a sore point. Too big. Back pain. Can't wear certain clothes. Really, just a pain in the ass.

For those of you who don't know me, you may think, oh god, her boobs have gotten small. No no, my boobs are still big. Bigger than your average boobs. But slowly moving towards manageable (although will they ever be???).

Kind of personal to write about on a public blog, but I know some of my friends will be proud of my boob loss.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

No really...come on...

I wasn't going to blog because I really don't have anything interesting to say, but then someone commented that I look like one of the American idols because of their weird hair? Ok, Carrie Underwood..sure, she's blond, maybe we have slight similiarities, but I went to look at a picture of her "weird hair" and it was not only weird, but totally frightening. Whoever said this needs to step forward and explain themselves...i think i'm offended. Who cares how the girl sings, did you see her hair?? At first I thought it must be one of my old roomies because when I was growing out my hair, ooooh boy did i have some interesting styles (mostly at night involving clips and headbands). But those crazy, on steroids not my style. So come on anonymous....fill me in, what exactly do you mean?

Other than that, pretty normal over here in the old apartment.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Quick nuggets...

A few quick nuggets of information:
  1. First search words today! For those of you who don't know, I can check to see how/where people enter my blog from. So for some of you, that's from my sister's site, and now, some from Katy's. But today, someone entered my site through searching for stuff about Jared Leto. How very exciting!
  2. I am allergic to the adhesive on Band-Aids. Yes this does exist. So if I were to have to wear a band-aid for two weeks to cover some stitches, the area around that would be raw and sore. The only way I can cover a wound for long periods of time is a gauze and "paper tape" concoction. I learn something new every time I go to the doctor.
  3. I am a horrible daughter and sent all of my laundry home with my mom. I am useless. I do feel guilty, but at the same time, I am excited that I will have clean laundry come Easter.

The joys of Tuesday...

I'm not at work today, which is wonderful, but I didn't think it was going to be a good day. I still have to go get stitches out and a tooth filed. But just now, my day went from OK to GREAT. Why? Because Mona just fell in the toilet. Oh my god was it funny. I hear this splash and then scrambling claws and she comes bolting out of the bathroom (i'm at my desk so I had a prime view of her running out of the bathroom). There was water EVERYWHERE but it was so funny I didn't care. I can't help but wonder if she was trying to drink out of it. That taught her a lesson. HA!

Last night I tried to write an entry; blogger was not working. The entry was not going to be fun, because my other cat, Boku is dying. Ok, she's probably not, but she did this weird heaving wheezing thing last night that I don't think is normal. Or, it's not normal unless she throws up right afterwards. But then later she was rolling around and playing so I felt better and was glad I didn't blog.

What a boring entry about my cats! Although, the toilet, oooh boy I wish i could have seen her actually fall in.

Hopefully I'll get off early for Good Friday (not that I'm observing it or anything) and it will be a wonderful short week. I have to go finish getting ready so I'm not late for my stitches appointment.

Friday, March 18, 2005

This life has been a test...

If it had been an actual life, you would have received instructions on where to go and what to do.

I watched one of my favorite episodes of My So-Called Life tonight. I don't know why, I just was really in the mood. I watched the episode where Angela goes to Jordan's band practice and hears that song about him. They kiss. He stands her up. Drama happens. I have a few quick revelations:
  1. Who dressed her? While I understand she was rebellious and it was the 90's she still looks terrible. Hair, good. Clothes, horrific. Lots of plaid and flannel clashing. In this episode I think she wore boxer shorts to school. Terrible.
  2. How could they have cancelled this show? What were they thinking....
  3. The scene where Angela is upset (we all know Claire Danes is a bad crier, she gets all snotty and throaty and muaaaa-ha-ha) and she curls up on the floor to cry. That always hits me as so real. Because who really curls up in their bed to cry? Or more "TV," who throws themselves on their bed in tears? No one.
  4. Jordan Catalano aka Jared Leto, why did he fade into a silly bit part guy? He could be Colin Farrell. If he'd only keep himself scary hair and bleach. Last thing I remember him in is Fight Club and oooh boy does he get screwed up. Side note: Cameron Diaz goes from Jared to that upgrade or do we judge....
On a different note, I'm off to Champaign to see med school Janet. Yay Janet! Our other friend is also coming it should be a regular reunion (sorry to those who can't be there, roomie #1 and roomie#2).

And I leave you with my favorite My So-Called quote ever:

Sometimes it feels like we're all living in some kind of prison, and the crime is how much we hate ourselves. And it's good to get dressed up every once in awhile and admit the truth. That when you look really closely, people are so strange and so complicated that they're actually beautiful. Possibly even me.

Thursday, March 17, 2005


  1. I do not have cancer.
  2. My college friend has had a blog for two days now and not told me. What is that all about? It seems she wants to remain anonymous, so I'll name her Jerk. No just kidding, I really do love her, I'm just feeling a little jilted. thank you...

  • St. Patricks Day: Holiday or excuse to drink?
  • There was this guy on the "L" yesterday, he was digging around in his nose and his lips looked like a beaver had chewed on them (or GROSSSS). And he reminded me of someone I used to kind of like. This guy in high school, he was really just my friend, but there was an attraction. Never sure if it was returned. We were too different. Anyway, I sort of question my desire for this guy. I mean, this guy on the L was pretty nasty, pulling out his bogies (pronounced with English accent) in public. And I was reminded of someone I used to like? Maybe I'm crazy...
  • I don't mean to be hard headed, but damn you Tim, boys do like cats. A good friend of Katy's adopted a cat for no good reason. And damn if he isn't hot and single. He probably reads this (or not) and that's a little embarrassing, but it's worth it to prove you cat hater wrong. Boo hiss to cat haters.
  • Going to see my college girls this weekend. I still think that the rest of you (all two of you) that haven't started a blog should. It's so much easier to keep in touch.
  • I don't really like basketball. But I do have a slight fascination with the whole basketball pool thing. Two years ago I actually got second place. Me, who knows nothing about basketball. I'm hoping for a repeat performance.
  • Some really cute shoes online. I find shoe shopping much eaiser online, since I know immediately if they have my size. Sometimes they don't fit, willing to take that chance. But how much is too much? $200? Too much... And wow are some of these shoes old lady-esque.
  • Righty-O. Off to maybe get some homework done.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Concerned Citizens for Justin Timberlake's Career...

Dear Justin,

Hello. You don't know me, but I know you (Wow, scary stalker speak or what? Next thing you know I'm going to be taken to court for stalking Justin Timberlake). I generally do not write letter to celebrities, but isn't that what all stalkers say? Really though, this is just my way to reach out and try to help one of my dreamboats before he falls off the face of the planet (planet Hollywood, smirk giggle giggle (not funny??)). Here's the deal: you're about to commit career suicide. You need to jump back in before people forget you and prefer that weird Summerland kid, something McCartney or some new American Idol.

This is why I am starting "Concerned Citzens for Justin's Career" or CCJC. Not to be confused with Concerned Citizens for Jesus Christ or Christ Cares, Just Choose (ok, if you think I'm going to hell for the Jesus jokes, then you clearly do not understand my humor and need to exit my blog/letter at once. Go!). The main goal of CCJC is to teach Justin that frolicking with Cameron Diaz on the beach does not a career make. And tinkering in movies, um, really, who are you kidding? Ok, maybe you'll be a good actor, but I say crappy until proven good. The only reason I'll see your movie anyway is for a sex scene...but I digress. Basically Justin, you can't forget about all of us who liked to watch your booty shake during your ever so brief "solo career." So get back on that stage and shake your booty.

If you'd like to join CCJC, let me know in a comment and I'll send you something priceless via mail. Priceless I tell you. And if you think I'm joking, then again, you clearly do not understand me. There is nothing funnier than a great piece of real mail....

I forgot to mention my ultimatum...if you don't come back on the scene soon I will no longer worship at the Justin Timberlake DVD altar when I am drunk. I will also trash talk you to any of my friends who previously had to hear how wonderful you are. I know that hurts, wipe your eyes and get your ass in gear!

Yours Truly,


P.S. Please see this blog entry and assess my song writing ability. I think I have skill. If you don't like my food song, I just wrote a song about my cat. It only has one word and stole a melody from another song. It's brilliant I tell you, brilliant.

Saturday, March 12, 2005


Ok kids, I have two things to say. Before I get to that, Happy Saturday! I hope you're doing exactly what you wanted to do today.

Here we go. First, let me just say that whoever is leaving little anonymous comments that are very nice and flattering, you get a gold star! I'd like to think that there is more than one of you out there saying nice things about my blog and myself, but that's pretty wishful thinking. I know I'm an "acquired taste" and that I'm one of those people that "grows on you." So thanks for enjoying my blog and suggesting that we should have dated. I have to say, it's fairly frustrating not to know who is posting these things, but at the same time, do I really want to know? Probably not. Mystery is fun. So gold star sticker for you.

Second, what is with that whole "if a single girl owns a cat she's a spinster" thing? It really is horribly annoying. Why can single boys own cats and be cute and sweet, but if a girl gets a cat it means she's given up on love? I know many boys who own cats and no one makes horrible jokes about them. And why is it that smart, single women are usually the ones making the joke? Like, ha ha ha, I give up, I'll just go get a cat. Poor cats, they have a stigma. I'm proud to own two cats. Although at this point I don't really know Boku very well, I know I'm going to love them both very much. That doesn't mean I don't want a boy. It's just a little frustrating. Single women take so much shit...

Friday, March 11, 2005

Get it off...

Here's a few things I need to vent/tell about.

#1: My cat is being a bitch to my other cat. So much so that Mona now is upstairs always and Boku downstairs under the couch. Its slowly getting better. Mona had better start being nice. At this point, it doesn't even feel like I have two cats. Haven't seen Boku yet today. And Mona won't come sit with me on the couch so it's almost like I don't have any cats.

#2: Living alone has two downsides I have come up with since this whole mole removal debacle. Number one is that there is no one here to reach the stitches/bandaid and clean them for me. That would make my life a lot easier, and strain my muscles less. Number two is that I don't have anyone to get a second opinion from. I'm pretty sure Boku is bleeding. Just little spotlets I found in my pantry, but still, which incision is bleeding? Should I worry? I can't keep calling my mom 800 times a day, although that does help.

#3: People can be such bitches. I admit that while there have been no authority figures around work these last few days I've been slower at my work. Why not? But I get so frustrated and angry with the people that don't even pretend to work. About half of the 10 people there today left early. Some of them were apartment hunting while others were just blatantly searching the web. I guess I just have this moral issue with such overt loafing.

#4: I just wanted to give a little hello and I miss you to most of my friends. I haven't seen you, most of you, in a long, long time. Soon I hope...

I'm off to clean the old stitcheroonis, apply some weird smelling lotion to my arms and then sleep.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Harry Potter...

Excitement for the new book has reached a high over here in my apartment. I've added this lovely counter at the bottom of my page:

If you're not excited, then you must not have found the love for Harry Potter yet. Go pick up the books (not the movies, that's not the same).

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Quick update...

The dentist went fine although my jaw and gums are seriously sore.

I keep having this mental picture of my mole know how when you carve a pumpkin, and you first cut off the lid theres a whole bunch of crap that comes out with it in a long trail. All attached to the lid. That's kind of what I imagine. Gross, eh? The wound twinges whenever I move much and the idea of not showering tomorrow have made me grouchy. Plus, Mona woke me up before 5 today, on the day I could sleep in. Not fun. Tired. Will go away now.

Bonus paranoia...

For someone as paranoid as myself, I actually was quite shocked when the dermatologist actually decided to remove one of my moles. I'll be honest, I was going in there pretty sure that my moles were weird looking, but nothing to worry about.

I got it taken off my back, and the worst part about it was whatever they injected me with to numb the area. It burned. Not pleasant. Anyway, I now have stitches in my back, which presents two problems. First, I was instructed not to get it wet for 24 hours. My back is nearly impossible to keep dry and I may have to go showerless tomorrow. Maybe a quick and weird bath? My hair is going to be seriously gross. My poor colleagues and family. Of course we would be going out to dinner tomorrow. Second, these stitches are in one of the most unreachable spots of the whole body. Lucky for me the very tip of my middle finger can reach it to apply "polysporen". The interesting part is going to be bandaid application. Maybe there are down-sides to living alone...

So in 7-10 days they will come back and tell me I'm cancer free. The "resident" (I was at Northwestern, so my body was poked and prodded by the actual doctor, a resident and a med student) when first looking me over said there was nothing to worry about. Then the doctor pulls out this gadget and tells the resident that the original mole is normal but the color is bleeding on to the skin. This means nothing to me except that the doctor wanted it removed and checked which brings on bonus rounds of paranoia I didn't need.

The positive side to this is that I learned that the thing on my arms is actually a disease I got from one of you, my lovely parents. Something to do with hair follicles. So I got some prescription lotion, and maybe when I wear a tank top I won't worry about my red bumpy skin.

Have to go back in two weeks...using up all my sick days for this stuff. Off to the dentist this afternoon to again get injected. This time though I have to be drilled, which is never fun.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

The regrets and accomplishments of this weekend...

First off, let me just say, what was I thinking not going to the party thing last night? I was in a little funk and I was having weird stomach issues, but it wouldn't have killed me to go. Plus, driving to the grocery store/pet supplies store today I drove past the bar where it was at, and honestly, its SO close to me I could run there and not be winded (which means its REALLY close because I am no athlete). I am ashamed I didn't go. Honestly. Sorry people I would have liked to see (especially roomie #1), I have no excuse except that I suck.

Now on to the positives of this weekend so I can stop feeling guilty and pissed at myself. First, I watched three movies I enjoyed which is often difficult considering my varied Netflix list. I liked I Heart Huckabees a lot. And I enjoyed Whale Rider and Raising Helen. Good all around.

My cleaning accomplishments are staggering. Sheets changed, the four loads of laundry, whole place vacuumed and Wet Jet'd and the bathroom is scrubbed. I've filed away all the crap that was laying around and now if only I could tidy the coffee table and dining table the place would be spotless! Joy! I've also done an assignment and taken a midterm today. I'm going to go pay bills and other things and then just sit.

I hope you had an enjoyable weekend. Again, sorry old friends...will see you some other time I hope...soon..

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Delusions of grandeur...

Shoe shopping is my personal version of hell. I wear a size 5 shoe. Some brands don't even make size 5's. So finding the right shoe has always been difficult, if not hellish. Today, my world came crashing down when New Balance shoe guy tells me that I actually have a size 4 1/2 foot, a high instep and a wide foot. Do any of you know what this means?

First, they do not make a size 4.5. This does not exist. Women's shoes start at 5. IF the company even makes fives. Then add to that the wide foot thing and you now need a size 5 WIDE. Which is even more rare. I have officially become impossible to shoe (does this work? shoe is not a verb, but what would be the verb of putting on a shoe. like the verb of putting on clothes is clothe). Damn you foot, damn you. It's really no wonder I hate feet. 4.5? I'm a freak.

And now, I'm not feeling very well. I'm not going to go into details but lets just say I took a pill so maybe the problem will gradually fade. Or maybe I won't be able to go to my hair appointment or out tonight. Maybe my turmoil over shoes has moved to my stomach. Too much information? I'm off to cuddle on the couch with Mona. Any men out there who want to take her place, inquire within.

True story...

Aren't there some phrases where you cannot help but think them like they were said once? Like that cowboy John from Real World and "true story". I have a few. From Sandlot, Forrrevvver, forever. I don't know why. I've seen that movie a few times, but sometimes I just think that. Or from that Marky Mark movie Fear, Nicole 4 Eva. He carves it into his chest, and sometimes I can't help but think that. Or from one of the Harry Potter movies, Mr. Weasley says something like, Did you really? And just the way he says it, whenever I think something like, is it really, are they really, it has to be in an english accent per Weasley. Weird? Maybe a smidge.

I've actually accomplished a lot this morning. 4 loads of laundry done, sheets changed, bedroom tidied. I plan to give the whole apartment an overhaul this weekend. It just needs to be tidied and scrubbed. I have some foster moms coming here to drop off my other cat next week and I don't want them to worry about the cats health (although Mona seems to be thriving and is in fact, filling out a little. She may get fat in the future).

I'm off now to buy some new walking shoes at New Balance, get myself a sandwich and then watch either I Heart Huckabees or Raising Helen. I then have a haircut and also may be going out tonight. I'm having a hard time deciding if I should go. Part of me really wants to, and another part is coughing up phlegm (there's a cough being passed around work). The compromise should be that I go for a little while and when the smoky bar air starts to get to me, I'd leave. But there is a cover charge...and its $20. Which hurts because I just got a huge bill in the mail and am not balancing right now. Shit. Will decide later...depending on how I feel.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

You'll knock on my door..

I have very little to say. Just a few quick little rant-lets.

There is one lady in particular at work who has made me want to hide in the bathroom recently (side note: while sitting in there the other day I couldn't help but wonder how long I could stay in there before people would worry and/or get suspicious. Probably a good 15 minutes. So why am I not spending that long on all my pee breaks? Anybody?). Anyway, this lady does not shut up. First offense, she asks me about "my baby" every morning. Puke. Ok? I like my cat, but she's a cat. How's your baby. Ugh. Second, she cannot keep her personal life PERSONAL! I do not want to hear about the mayor of your suburb and why you are such good friends. Leave me be...I just want to work in peace and have an occasional office moment of, Oh did you see the Oscars? Oh are you doing anything exciting this weekend? Blah. I'm a little turned off by this commercial i heard recently about how eharmony promotes the sacredness of marriage and what a great marriage rate they have. Again, ick. What I want to know is where's E-letsjustdate or Not that I'm interested, it just seems so horrible to me that they are putting themselves out there as a spouse finder rather than a DATING service.

I can't think of anything else at the moment except: If you're on the "L" and you're having a loud cellphone conversation and people are looking at you, it really is not your right to give them a dirty look. You're the one disturbing the peace.