Concerned Citizens for Justin Timberlake's Career...

Dear Justin,

Hello. You don't know me, but I know you (Wow, scary stalker speak or what? Next thing you know I'm going to be taken to court for stalking Justin Timberlake). I generally do not write letter to celebrities, but isn't that what all stalkers say? Really though, this is just my way to reach out and try to help one of my dreamboats before he falls off the face of the planet (planet Hollywood, smirk giggle giggle (not funny??)). Here's the deal: you're about to commit career suicide. You need to jump back in before people forget you and prefer that weird Summerland kid, something McCartney or some new American Idol.

This is why I am starting "Concerned Citzens for Justin's Career" or CCJC. Not to be confused with Concerned Citizens for Jesus Christ or Christ Cares, Just Choose (ok, if you think I'm going to hell for the Jesus jokes, then you clearly do not understand my humor and need to exit my blog/letter at once. Go!). The main goal of CCJC is to teach Justin that frolicking with Cameron Diaz on the beach does not a career make. And tinkering in movies, um, really, who are you kidding? Ok, maybe you'll be a good actor, but I say crappy until proven good. The only reason I'll see your movie anyway is for a sex scene...but I digress. Basically Justin, you can't forget about all of us who liked to watch your booty shake during your ever so brief "solo career." So get back on that stage and shake your booty.

If you'd like to join CCJC, let me know in a comment and I'll send you something priceless via mail. Priceless I tell you. And if you think I'm joking, then again, you clearly do not understand me. There is nothing funnier than a great piece of real mail....

I forgot to mention my ultimatum...if you don't come back on the scene soon I will no longer worship at the Justin Timberlake DVD altar when I am drunk. I will also trash talk you to any of my friends who previously had to hear how wonderful you are. I know that hurts, wipe your eyes and get your ass in gear!

Yours Truly,
Katie

P.S. Please see this blog entry and assess my song writing ability. I think I have skill. If you don't like my food song, I just wrote a song about my cat. It only has one word and stole a melody from another song. It's brilliant I tell you, brilliant.