What? Um yeah...

I feel the makings of a crazy blog coming on. Why? Because I am reading a book called Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs and man is that guy crazy. Although I am enjoying his weird pop culture connections.

• Today someone at work "atta-girled" me. This phrase vaguely makes me think of a dog that has done something good. Sit. Atta-girl. The context of my "atta-girl" was so opposite of the correct time for it, that next to the shock I felt perplexed rather than angry. In any other circumstance I would have been angry. Here's how it happened: I was in the file room looking for a file. A big man (who is a know-it-all that i'm glad is in the accounting department) came in to get what he had printed. He obviously had forgotten to push print. He asked me if I had stolen what he had printed (in an obvious joking way) and I said yes (joking back). He then said, "atta girl." Now, is it just me or does this totally not fit the situation?? And anyway, who says atta-girl?

• Today while walking down the street on the way to the train, I made up a little song. Here are the lyrics: "walking and eating, eating and walking." That's it. It was inspired by one of the largest people I've ever seen walking at the fastest pace I've ever seen a large person walking. And I thought to myself, well, why is she so fat? I mean, she's moving, she's not just sitting on the couch. And then I noticed the rather large Rice Krispie treat. She was walking and eating. Eating and walking. I've made up a total of two songs in my life. The first was when I was a wee one, when I sensed injustice in my family and decided to vent my frustration by voicing it in song. That song is MUCH more advanced than "walking and eating." The brilliant lyrics: "I'm the Mom. You're the kid. I win. You lose." Catchy stuff eh? The second is about an obese lady and her rice krispie treat. Genius.

• On the same note, I always tell my mom I should be a singer. I mean, I find joy in belting out a song. Although my songs of choice are not necessarily pop star material because they are almost always inspired by a commercial(most recently "A Whole New World." Aladdin DVD coming out..you should really pick up a copy). My mom always laughs and says, uh huh, keep dreaming. I'll admit, I do lack some of the things necessary for this career choice, mainly a super-svelte body, a wish to have everything I ever do be public and a singing voice. The last obviously being the most crucial for a singer. My singing...its pretty hideous. But I like to torture others with it...and I enjoy singing, a lot. So i do it anyway. I'll just never be famous for it (unless I'm famously bad...although who wants to be William Hung, his career really makes me sad).

• Ok, so there's this commercial...its about fresh meat or something. But I am always disturbed because at the end of the commercial the guy says, "Nice choice Mrs. Freshy Freshington" or something very close to that. Now, I've been using this adjective style for a LONG time (and getting lots of shit for it). I mean, anything can be made better by using it...if your friend is speeding, "speedy speederson," if your friend is a drunkard, "drunky drunkerton." But hearing it in a commercial creeps me out. Because that means that its spread from the few people I know to some weird commercial.

• Saw a college friend for lunch. I'll not mention names for the sake of keeping her free from stalkers. But it was lovely. I'm trying to convince her to blog...she's at pharmacy school, a newlywed and commutes 2 to 2 and a half hours everyday to go to school. This is a girl who could have interesting things to say. Are there crazy people on your train? Do we need to worry about a certain drugs terrible, secret side affects? Does the new husband sing in the shower? I mean...it could be great to read. I think if you are reading this and think that my lovely college friend should start a blog you should encourage her.

• As a "technical assistant" I am trying to come up with ways to not suck up, but raise my worth in the eyes of the bosses. I'm trying to make an impression, so they'll realize I'm good and 1)give me a raise and 2)make me an underwriter quickly. My plan is to just use any situation to its advantage. There were two situations this week. First: I noticed that the other 3 technical assistants were all making the same mistake on issuing policies. This was a majorly bad mistake that could seriously hurt the company. Really, there is no choice but to bring it up to the office manager. If I ignored it, everything would be issued wrong. That can't be good for the company and the big boss would have been seriously pissed at us all when he found out. Plus, by telling the office manager, I earn major points for being observant and not making the same mistake. However, there is some anger with the three other tech assistants. They clearly are angry that I did not make the same mistake and are starting to form feelings of dislike. I can feel it. But honestly...not my fault. The second situation: the vice prez of the company comes up to me with a book and says, have you read this? I think you'd really like it. Its so not my kind of book, but hello, the vice prez of the company wants to share a book, I'm going to read it and like it. Gotta brown nose a little (that term, really gross when you think about it).

Off to play endless games of spider and lose many of them while watching my Tuesday night corny, crappy teen shows.