I am fairly agile...

I was going to talk about the joy of cable splitting or all the crazy things I saw today, but I can't get over my bitterness, so I'm going to talk about that.

Lately at work, a lot of people have been asking me to help them with things. In some ways this is kind of a good thing. For example: when the Vice President needs computer help and I come through in a big way, I look pretty good. But, recently its been a little out of hand. One of the other technical assistants has been sick the past few days. At the end of the month everyone goes a little nuts because all of the policies have to be entered. There are 5 underwriters. There were 2 technical assistants. It got ugly. I was a little bitter because I entered far more than half of them. Then as I'm being panicked at by the office manager (basically she bustles around demanding to know how many policies are left and being seriously rude in the way she asks it) she asks me to help her with one of her reports. Ok. Her only jobs: order office supplies, keep track of sick/vacation days, schedule phones if the receptionist is sick and print/organize reports once a month. And she asks me to help. While she's hinting that I'm moving too slow on other things. Its pretty horrible. Ever since one of the other assistants was fired she's supposed to be taking over. So there would be 4 assistants for 5 underwriters. Only every day, EVERY DAY she asks each of us (the three tech assistants) to do part of her work. Which effectively rids her of all the technical assistant work. It makes my blood boil.

The fact that my computer skills and intelligence are working against me just sucks. I'm starting to get bitter.

Now is the time to cheer myself up. Reasons I should be cheerful:

1. Getting cats in a week and a half.
2. Keane concert in two weeks
3. Board game night this weekend
4. Goodbye festivities for friend (although not cheerful about her going)
5. Eating frozen pizza and still being on the diet.
6. Watched Scrubs and One Tree Hill tonight, I love you cable splitter.
7. Half day tomorrow. Even with the dentist.

I hope you managed to make it through this bitter blog. Next time I'll be happy. I hope.

I am fairly agile...I recover quickly. --Dashboard

Sloth...

Ok, here's the deal. I have done nothing this weekend. I'm going to go through some of the more interesting parts of my weekend and then you'll understand. As I sit here my muscles are about to atrophy and I have a headache from staring at computer/TV. But its fine because I needed a lazy weekend.

• I found a fun place while I was coming from the grocery store. I had seen it before, but was skeptical. The Tag outlet store. Tag is a home goods brand (i know this from my days of retail at Cocoon). Mostly candles, rugs, plates etc. And the outlet store/warehouse is right here! It's wonderful! I bought a rug (so all you can come visit and put your shoes on the rug and stop complaining).
• I did one of my paint by numbers greeting cards. It turned out a little messy and I'm sending it to you! Ok, no, maybe not, but I like the idea. I have to buy some painters tape and then i'll do my next one!
• I found some tasty diet items: Nabisco crisps...the variety I tried are Oreo Crisp. Its a pouch that has like, 100 calories or something? Anyway, I was skeptical, but they taste good! Next up I bought Honey Maid Graham crisps (cinnamon). I think they'll be good. And the "pouches" are pretty full. I also tried a Smart Ones frozen dessert: chocolate fudgy cake. It was really good and totally decadent. I felt like i was cheating! Which was great!
• I finished a computer game for the first time ever! I only cheated a few times (for real) and completed some old school Myst. Next up: the second Myst.
• I split the cable on the TV/tivo. Now I can watch Gilmore/One Tree Hill and tape Scrubs, my TV shows are just multiplying!
• I watched three movies and all of them were a little gut-wrenching. I didn't even like Last Samurai and read/computer'd during most of the movie and still ended up crying my eyes out when the Samurai guy died. Next up on my Netflix list: Dodgeball. Light, fluffy, its about time!
• I convinced myself I have skin cancer. A lot of my "beauty marks" are weird right now. I told my mom this a long time ago and she said i was crazy. But now, i have some of my big ones doing this: there is a slight discoloration in the middle of the beauty mark, darker. Recently I've realized that this discoloration is raised and i can pick it off (gross?). So i'm convinced I need to see a dermatologist. Now i just need to find one and get an appointment...a large task here in Chicago..

Ok, thats it for my weekend. Up for this week: two lunches, one with cousin, one with insurance school contact, Dentist appointment. Have a good one people!

Browsing...

Recently I've been "browsing" blogs. If you look at the top of my blog, there's a button for the "next blog." This takes you to a random blog (although most times it has a recent entry. It might have to in fact). Here's how it usually works:

15 out of 20 are in a foreign language....usually spanish, although sometimes weird languages that I don't have any idea of what they are.

3 out of 20 are religious. God has done this and this and this is how i praised him today etc. Really boring stuff (although sometimes funny). I know there's someone out there thinking I'm going to hell. Well guess what? Last laugh over here because I don't believe in hell.

1 out of 20 is weird poetry or a teenager writing about soccer practice.

The other 1 is usually interesting. Today I read an infertility blog. My sister loves these. I guess I kind of understand.

Ok, but I had to share this blog. For a minute I thought I had forgotten how to read english and panicked. I tend to think i'm dying quite easily. And this is full of english words. But in some weird code. Or maybe, just words. Or maybe another language mixed with english? It was scary and then totally mind-boggling. Who is this person and what is going on here? Any thoughts?? And with that I'll end with this:

watch lotion eat speaker bracelet poco paperweight time light show window right walk naranja now.

The daydreamer and the realist collide...

For those of you who don't know me well (or at all since this is a public forum) I must warn you against this post. I have a feeling that it will tend toward rambling vaguery (i made this word up).

Today was the kind of day where my daydreams kind of fizzled into reality and ended. I like a good daydream. I have many recurring ones and do spend a lot of time daydreaming. You'd think as a person with a 9-5 I'd be stuck thinking about numbers and insurance mundanery (i made this word up too, and ps, spell check just tried to make it mountaineering! ha, like i'd mountaineer), but its not true. I have the commute, the walks, the random blank mind times, a lot of time as I attempt to fall asleep etc. Anyway, today was the kind of day where the real world slips in and shoots down the daydreams and makes you feel silly for having them. I won't go into any kind of detail, it isn't upsetting so much as annoying.

But then at the same time that i daydream all day, I am really a pretty heavy realist. I don't believe in soul mates or "true love." Although, I do believe in love (come on, can you not believe in it? if anyone out there doesn't they must be severely jaded). I guess I just think that there are probably hundreds of men out there that I could love, its just who i meet (if i ever do). And I don't believe in religion; so many people out there who would be shocked that it is something to "believe." I believe its a choice. And I choose to not believe. I don't believe in beating around the bush. Say what you have to say.

Which is why I think that every now and again I realize that daydreams are silly.

But don't worry, tomorrow I'll be on the train thinking about my lovely condo (maybe brownstone) that me and my boyfriend _______(fill with Justin Timberlake, Hal Sparks, cute work guy etc) live in with our cats/dogs.

And just so you know, it wasn't a bad day. A good one in fact. Just a real one.

Completion...

Hello all! The blizzard of 2005 didn't hold me down! Yesterday I went shopping for most of the day, nearly died in the white-out conditions in a cab on the way home, and then went out for my friend's birthday. It was a lot of fun. The bars she chose were perfect. First we went to Get Me High, which was a lovely little martini bar that has a capacity of 37. Had two martini's: A "Fruit Loop" and a "Raspberry S & S." They were delicious. Then we went to Club Lucky which was more like an Italian restaurant with a bar/lounge. I think we were loud and scared our waiter, but oooh boy, it was fun and delicious.

Glad we braved the snow to go out. We were told we're "lame" for being home by 11:15 or so...but really, it was a mutual decision and the night had been hours chock full of laughter before that. I don't feel lame.

For all of you out there that may know I was working on a Frank Lloyd Wright cross stitch project (my sister had referenced it before), it is done! Look at my pretty pictures below.

Another pic...

Here is a lovely close up. If you click on the picture you can see the shiny-ness of the thread. I love it!

The offenses of January 19...

Here is a list of reasons why today was offensive:

1. My day started with me waking up with a gaping mouth and a completely dry tongue. Totally uncomfortable. I never sleep with my mouth open. It was unnatural. Should have been a sign. I should have stayed in bed.
2. As I was having my morning tinkle (ok, how else can you put this without sounded vulgar? You either sound vulgar or five years old. I choose five) I saw my nemesis: the "silverfish" bug. Now that I'm looking at more pictures maybe that's not my bug. And now that i'm looking at pictures i feel really icky. Anyway, this bug shimmies around my bathroom floor. It CRUNCHES loudly when i kill it, it has a serious exoskeleton. But it is not a cockroach. Don't get scared.
3. I get on the "L" and we sat at Fullerton station for 10 minutes. Maybe 15. So I was late to work, but it was also horrible because we were waiting for this reason: "Boop, boop, boop, we are experiencing a delay due to a medical emergency. we regret the inconvenience and expect to be moving shortly." How scary. Someone on my train needed paramedics! Don't worry all you rubber-neckers, not in my car, so I have no idea what the emergency was.
4. Work was fine. Although for about 2 hours this morning I pretended to be busy, which is awful, time crawls when you have nothing to do.
5. At lunch I was kind of offended by some discussion of Sex and the City. There were some very negative comments on Miranda (who i fell like I am most like) but then they went and were rude to the actress that plays Miranda because she was a "dyke." It was very derogatory. I did not enjoy it and left the table.
6. I spoke with my cat foster mom, and I am not getting my cats until February 12. That's almost a month. Boooo. Boooooooo.

So that's my day. It was not the best day. Leaving for work tomorrow is going to be twice as hard. So close to the weekend. So close.

Upcoming...

First let me say that dinner with the family was excellent. Everyone was fun, makes me remember that my family is pretty great. We're all quite different and it really makes things interesting.

I have been busy with work and going to see some cats. But work on Friday was insanely fun. I was laughing all day. There's a new "lady" and she's really diffused some of the weird work vibes. Its like she is a neutral and calming presence (except she's loud, in a happy not bitter way). I'm excited that work may be less bitterness and more chuckling! There's also a new temp that I may try to make friends with. She was telling me how she knows no one and really doesn't do anything on the weekends. It may be perfect...

So thats an up and coming friendship I hope.

And then the cats that I met...First, I need to mention that these cats are super scared of people and seriously skittish. But I've decided to just go for it. I think once they get here and realize I'm harmless (and a sucker) they'll warm up. Anyway, I called the foster lady today to tell her I'm going to get them. So she's scheduling a declaw/spaying for two fridays from now, the 27th? Then I pick them up from there....so just in case you were wondering, here's a pic of one of them. The other looks very similar, another calico, but with different facial/back markings. I'm excited, but in a way its a little nerve-wracking. I'll let you know how that all goes.

One of my good friends is moving far, far away to Vermont. I know what you're thinking, who moves to Vermont? I don't know...my friend? But she also moves to Canada every summer, so we're used to the distance. Still though, as we get older, I can't help but hope that she'll be around more often...selfish, i know! But her leaving is quite soon...so i'm sure i'll bid her farewell in another blog.

Off to do something...maybe eat dinner? Hope you're happy, safe and warm (but not as warm as me...i have two windows open and its still 85 degrees in here).

I am very happy because...

1. I saw a policeman cruising down the sidewalk on a people mover. It was highly enjoyable, I think i smirked because he gave me a big grin.
2. I now have a beautiful shiny new deadbolt on my door to keep out all the robbers, burglars (did i ever mention that my favorite word to say/think is burgle) and rapists. Yay deadbolt!
3. A man with possibly the most beautiful dreads in the world was on my L. They were perfect. Down to about the middle of his back, tapering and just perfect. I was staring (ok, imagine a snowman, you know with globes that get progressively smaller...this is what each individual dread looked like up close, but in such a small scale) and he noticed, and we shared a little smile.
4. I got invited to one of my closest friends birthday parties. Martini bar + dancing (i think, it says a club, which means dancing) can only be great times!
5. I have an appointment to meet some cats this weekend and I am highly optimistic.
6. I saw a golden retriever with boots on. Yes, he was going for a run with his "master" wearing a matching set of 4 snow boots/running shoes. It was odd and amusing.
7. Illinois is banning discrimination based on your sexual orientation. Hell yes Illinois! This is why I love you and Chicago. And just so you know you crazy opponents of this bill, hopefully, hopefully! gay marriage will be next.
8. Dinner with the cousins/dad/sister should be great tomorrow. Even if they all suck, I get to eat Pizza D.O.C. Plus, my date (since i'm the only single one) is a very beautiful man. And while he is not my friend (he's the sisters friend) nor a possibility (he is not straight) he still will be fun to look at and converse with.
9. Not sure what number 9 should be. Any suggestions?

I hope you're happy today too!

Drunk habits...

I haven't been drunk in a really long time. And I was last night. Not really drunk, but tipsy happy goofy drunk. The perfect kind, where you don't feel it in the morning. Always hard to acheive because once you hit this phase alcohol has no taste anymore and you can accidentally keep drinking far too much.

The high school girls came over last night. We had big plans to go to a bar near me (or the bar one of them is having her birthday party at). We also needed to eat. I think that's where we went wrong. If we wouldn't have ordered in, we might have actually left to drink. But alas, we did not. We ate chinese and sat around drunk.

And that's when my drunk habit kicked in. One, i get a little demanding, but in a good way (i hope). Two, I sink back into Justin Timberlake obsession. I made them watch his concert, his videos, etc. Don't you wish you had been there? Honestly though, it was tons of fun. Thanks girls!! I'm too excited about the birthday party too because i'm actually going to be going out down here! And hanging out with her new boyfriend in a "not the third wheel" fashion should be exciting.

I have an appointment next weekend to meet some cats. Cross your fingers for me. I'm ready for them and have been searching, but damn its hard!

Hope you have a good week. Looking forward to a dinner with all the cousins and the pooj (endearing term for dad) this Wednesday. Yum, yum, Pizza D.O.C. here i come...

You can't stop me...

This may be a long one. I am in a cheerful but scattered mood and may ramble for some time. I think it's time to welcome back the bulleted entry. Even though I did one about a week and a half ago I haven't been doing them much lately.

• Bullets, how i've missed you!
• So, this friend of mine ran into John Malkovich on the street. For those of you who don't know, he is returning to his theater, Steppenwolf and doing a play for the next few months. And also for those of you who may have missed this: I love John Malkovich. There is something about him that I just am drawn to. I haven't seen him in anything for a long time, but I used to make a point to see any movie he was in. This one was not so good, but this, this and this were excellent! And that's only a few...oh my gosh, i nearly peed my pants in joy that my friend had run into him. Imagine if i did! And really, its only a few blocks (ok, a bit more than a few) from where i live that he ran into him. Can't wait to see him on stage. Maybe I can talk my Dad into helping me find some good seats.
• Speaking of actors, I recently discovered that I really like Michael Keaton. Is that weird? And he really disappeared off the face of the earth there for a while. Does anyone remember Multiplicity? I really liked that movie. But now he's back..in some scary movie that I guess is actually scary. Maybe he'll have a comeback. Just maybe...
• This morning as I was dancing around after the shower, I realized that I really like living alone. A lot. I mean, there aren't many who would put up with blasting Justin Timberlake watching me dance around. And really, I couldn't possibly dance like I do now if i had a roomate, because i'm too modest and i prefer to dance in my underwear. Too much information?
• My mooj (endearing term for mother) is facing a tough decision back at home. My cat Allie (15) is having a thyroid problem. The pills worked, but now she has a low white count, which means if she gets sick, she dies. So my mom can: take her off the pills (not an option because allie got really skinny and was having some diarrhea issues), get surgery to remove her thyroid (putting her under might mean she never wakes up), give her radiation (effectively radiates away her thyroid but costs $1,000) or just keep giving her the pills and take the chances. Old cats...tough choices.
• I ruined my weightwatchers week on Friday by eating a not very good piece of cake. I need my self-control back. Who took it?
• My high school girls (2 of them anyway) are coming to stay tonight. Should be fun, and possibly drunken. I haven't been drunk since...oh geez, who remembers? A long time. I'll probably not get drunk anyway, but gotta leave options open.

Ok, well I'm off to watch one of the following: Spiderman 2, Bourne Supremacy or SuperSize Me. Have a good weekend all!

Question of the day...

Do I use one of my scarce sick days in order to avoid scary falling ice? I guess this isn't something they tell you, but if you work downtown Chicago you need to watch out for falling ice. And my building seems to be one of the worst. All day today I heard the ice rattling our windows on its way down (i work on floor 27, i think there are 50-60 floors). Its really quite scary. But it's only the 7th of January tomorrow, how can i possibly use one of my sick days already? I can't. I just have to brave the ice.

A dream come true?

Now you're thinking, oooh, what wonderful thing happened to Katie. Ok, not like that. Here's the deal: I've been having dreams about this guy from my high school. Lets call him Lucah because that's what my cousin used to call me since he doesn't know my name. Ok, so Lucah was the beautiful jock that was nice to everyone but led astray by his rascal friends. Maybe others see that differently, but I don't think he could be mean. Anyway, I randomly have dreams about him sometimes (yummy dreams), which is weird because I don't think I've talked to him since 7th grade, when we had our week long romance and he held my hand, oh and kissed my cheek. Very exciting. Had a wonderful, satisfying dream about him about 3 nights ago in fact.

Well, I saw Lucah on the "L" this morning. And I tried to play it cool (for your future reference, I SUCK at playing it cool). So after the 800th time i'd glanced his way we caught eyes, he waved, i waved back. It was very awkward. Then I looked the other way. I started mentally berating myself for being such a loser with guys and not going over to him and saying hello. So the train stops. Because, well, trains do that. And the loudspeaker goes, "boop boop boop we are being delayed waiting for signals ahead. we expect to be moving shortly." So i said Fuck it, and went and said hello. I was very proud of myself. And a little startled at how Lucah responded. He did a weird, tug on my scarf hello thing. He looks old and nerdy, which is very different from the Lucah I remember. And the Lucah of my dreams.

Again, no point to this. Except that its weird, because we said hello and i really haven't talked to him since middle school.

A few random points:
As i was walking in the snow home, I couldn't help but love it. Ok, yes, it was cold and needling in my face, but the trees are so pretty. Its so pretty down here.

I felt like I was in trouble today at work. Not a good feeling around the office..and then my underwriter goes into the office manager's office and closes the door. Closed doors are very bad. Or very good. It really goes either way. But i'm thinking bad. I wonder what we'll find out before the week ends...

I don't feel very good so I think i'll make soup. Have you ever looked at the nutrition information on a pack of ramen? Much worse than you'd expect. Back on Weight Watchers, so I may have cravings or random snippets about food here and there.

In the backyard....

I'm listening to Guster right now (came up on the old ipoderooni) and I really do like this song. Although the newest CD as a whole isn't my favorite I really quite like a few songs on it. I'm not sure what the point is in that statement or in this blog entry as whole. But isn't that the way it's supposed to be?

My day at work today was upbeat. People are in better moods after the end of the year crunch, and I'm starting to learn some of my new responsibilities. Slowly, but that's the way I like it. I'm not really the type of person to want to dive in to a totally new thing.

Is it strange that I'm alone a lot of the time and yet when I do have plans, sometimes I'm reluctant. I mean, I like seeing people, friends and such, but I also like doing nothing a lot. A lot.

Funny thing, this entry did have no purpose. But that's alright, because isn't that what a blog is all about? Over the holidays I haven't talked to a lot of my college friends...makes one wonder how hard its going to be to keep some of them around...

Welcome to 2005!

Its been a rough day, but I do want to welcome the new year in a hopeful way. I hope all of you out there have big plans for 2005. And even if they're not big, at least meaningful to you. For example, here's some of what I hope to do:

Get cats.
Get a promotion or two, and maybe, just maybe become an underwriter.
Get to know Chicago a bit better.
Maybe take an art class.

Anyone out there planning anything exciting? No babies, right marrieds?

New Year's Eve is not really my favorite holiday, since it really is just an excuse for people to get really drunk. I guess I'm old and boring now and don't really find it too interesting. But it seems to me, all my friends were also old and boring that night. I don't think anyone did anything interesting/exciting.

On another note, my day involved taking down the christmas tree. Its a big sad empty place now. But man, getting that thing out the door was complicated! My plan for tomorrow is to finish cleaning this place and start my Sunday night cooking that I hope to get in the habit of (try a real meal every Sunday).

Fresh sheets tonight! Doesn't everyone love a sheet change? I think so. Off to climb in them and read a bunch. I'm reading a pretty good book and haven't had much time for it with the crazy past weeks. Nothing but down-time now I hope...