Lists that never came to be...

• Blog topics that would bother my coworkers...
• Anything to do with shark week
• Any details whatsoever about eating cookies
• Anything to do with my sex life, in specific details
  
• Likely anything to do with my woman parts. Or NSFW waxes.
• How much I love them and why
  
• Reasons that I hate you...
• This list was going to contain one reason that I hate each person that I love. It would be an anonymous, random list. Basically it would be an ingenious, diabolical mind fuck of a list. And I would never tell anyone which item belonged to them.
  
• Reasons that I love you...
• The nice version of the previous list. To be created exactly the day after the hate list.
  
• Words that my coworkers have made up...
• This list exists in my cubicle if you ever wish to see it. It also was my fall back list, in case things should go so awry that I couldn't think of anything...

If I hadn't quit my job a few years ago...

While watching Sliding Doors I found myself wondering...if there were an alternate reality Katie out there...what would she be doing? So...if i hadn't quit my job 2.5 years ago...

• I'd likely still be here, this apartment
• It is likely I'd be dating someone...hopefully someone I actually liked...but for some reason I feel like it'd be someone that I moderately tolerated (possibly one of my coworkers or his friends...he was really, really new when I left)
  
• I predict I'd be quite a bit heavier than I am at this moment
• The above prediction is due to the fact that I think I'd still be miserably unhappy at my job
• But I'd be unaware of this unhappiness
• I imagine the friendships would be strained
• There is no chance in hell I'd be making the money I'm making now

That all seems so negative. I imagine it's possible I'd be happily coupled. Or that I'd have found a better job in the insurance industry thus increasing my job satisfaction.

Things I have tried this year...

• Santong Chicken (delicious)
  
• Barbecue flavored chips (I don't hate them like I thought I did)
  
• Eating "cookies" every day (impossible...)
  
• Upper lip wax (not nearly as painful as some would have led me to believe)
  
• NSFW wax (even less painful than that upper lip, but with a bit more lasting pain)
  
• To find a retro bathing suit (curses!)
  
• Baking banana bread in the toaster oven (failure)
  
• Thai fusion (found it tasty)
  
• Rock band (!!!)
  
• New dentist (closing the list with delicious as well)

My morning routine...

I doubt this will be interesting to anyone...but maybe if you're curious as to how I get completely ready in 30-40 minutes, you can follow these steps (average time is exactly 33 minutes):

1. Alarm
2. Toilet
3. Shower
4. Towel dry
   
5. Towel on head
   
6. Brush teeth
7. Contacts
8. Bottom underwear
9. Full body lotion (best 2-4 minutes I ever added to my routine)
10. Bra
11. Deodorant
    
12. Towel off head
13. Brush hair
14. Foundation
15. Under-eye concealer
16. Curl eyelashes
17. Mascara
18. Blow dry hair
19. Put on clothes
20. Powder
21. Blush
22. Hair goop (pomade/wax)
23. Jewelry

GO!

List suggestion the second...

Movies that make me cry...

• Stepmom
• Life as a House
• Pretty much any movie about Sept 11 (recent cry fests include World Trade Center and United 93)
• I have a vivid memory of sobbing at Free Willy, in the theater, back in the day (I was 12)
• Ditto Lion King (I was 13)
• Keeping with Disney, the Fox and the Hound (how is that a children's movie?)
  
• Meet Joe Black
• American History X
• My Dog Skip
• Old Yeller (I'm not sure why, but I think we used to watch this movie a lot)
• Lord of the Rings movies
• Harry Potter flicks 4 & 5(more with Cedric than Sirius...which is not true to book). I predict crying in 6, 7 & 7.5
  
• Return to Me (something about the dog + David Duchovny...gets me)
  

This list was harder to craft than I expected. I know I cry a lot at movies...but coming up with specific movies...well, that requires memory. Something which I lack.

And, in honor of the horrific, thick, wet snow today, true story:

Me: mouth open wide, eating the snow
Passerby: (laughing) you might as well get some nutrition

As if snow has any nutritious value.

List suggestion uno...

Reasons I like my genes...

• My height. I actually genuinely like being short. And short jokes? Not that insulting and totally true. I mean...a short joke is better than most jokes about your looks...
• Intelligence. We're a pretty smart bunch.
• Is it fair to say my chest? Some days I hate it (trying on super cute bathing suits that otherwise look pretty kick ass). Some days they're hard to hate...
• My ass. I really like my ass. I need to put on some work-out pants again and admire it.
  
• Possible longevity? My family members (on both sides) are still kicking it. One, well into her nineties. We have five generations around right now. My great-grandma, my grandma, my parents, my cousins and then my cousins children.
  
• Insanity? Although we may be crazy, we're lovably crazy (most of us).
• I guess my metabolism should be commended here. I really should be heavier than I am with the way I eat. Today for instance, I not only ate a donut, but also a piece of cake (and pizza. And a bagel).
• Musical ability. I didn't think I had any (probably because I never tried?). But it turns out I do have rhythm.
  

It occurs to me that it is hard to separate genes from upbringing. I mean, maybe my genes lend themselves to my being intelligent. Or maybe the way I was raised did that?

Reasons I hate my genes...

• My teeth. Soft. Deep. Prone to cavities.
• My chest. That comes from my Dad's side of the family. All the women are short with a large rack. I even have an Aunt that had a breast reduction. At least I don't have the crazy Italian hair like they do...I'll hold on to that...
  
• Large, flappy earlobes.
• Small feet. I mean...I understand that large feet would look a little off on a very short person. But at the same time, it would be nice to have adult sized feet. Apparently my only hope is to have a baby, since that is when my Mom's feet got just a bit bigger. But hers were never quite as small as mine.
• High cholesterol.
• Cancer.
• Heart disease.
• Utter insanity. I think this does run in our family.
  

Things I should have done today...

• Work more
• Shower
• Brush my teeth
• Not watch the last episode of Six Feet Under. I feel shitty and quite tired and I practically sobbed.
• Change couch location every few hours
• Drink more liquids

Also, I thought of a sex on a stick that I missed...Michael Buble. Went to that concert as a present for the Mom and ended up enjoying it quite a bit...

Sex on a stick...

Not sure where that term came from, but I use it mainly to describe performers (of the music variety). And, this list only contains people that I personally thought were sex on a stick live/in person/in the real world:

• John Mayer - I dislike his music and I don't much care for him in general. But I happened to be at a concert or two (or three...) and he's delicious on stage...
• Caleb Followill (Kings of Leon) - caveat: has to have short hair. And again, this is a stage thing. Although I find him more attractive than John Mayer.
• Justin Timberlake - no caveats. He is sex. With or without the stick.
  
• Brandon Boyd (Incubus) - caveat: shirt off. Ok, not really.
  
• Eddie Vedder (Pearl Jam) - Mostly on stage, but if he has short hair, always.
  
• Tori Amos - I know, doesn't really fit. And I wouldn't say I'm attracted to her. But...on stage...with her piano...yeah....if that's not sex on a stick, I don't know what is...
  

Honorable mentions:

• Brandon Flowers (The Killers) - audio sex. I find him completely unattractive on and off stage.
  
• Michael Stipe (REM) - I'm not attracted to him per se...but he's enigmatic and intriguing. And he mesmerized.
• Big baby head, aka Tom Chaplin (Keane) - um...there's not much about him that is attractive in a conventional sense. But...his hot tight red pants really made an impact. And his goofy English stage-presence.
  

Crossword clues that I stupidly missed in the last few days...

Answers:
• Big Time
• Deduction
• Ibex
• Gulps
  

Clues (do not correspond with answers):
• Elbows
• Messenger _____ (ending in an A)
• White, black and orange creature
• Mississippi and Nile
  

I have nothing to say...

so....

• Why is it always so hot in this apartment? It occurs to me that the temp in here doesn't really fluctuate. The radiators make it hot in the winter and the lack of a/c makes it hot in the summer.
• I tried on some "retro" bathing suits today and decided it theoretically could work. I just had some slight problems with the top of the bathing suits. One was strapless and tied in the back (ha! no support there), the other had cute straps but a V so low in the front that...uh..yeah. Anyway. I will keep trying for that suit. And as a side note to suit shoppers - Bloomingdales swim department? Far better than Macy's.
• Macy's sucks. Seriously. We went to the Water Tower store. That store is basically vertical and we encountered 2 failed escalators. They were completely blocked off. Not even usable as stairs. Way to push your customers out of the store, Macy's.
• No more snow.
• I forget that I have a lot more time to entertain myself sans school.
• Banana bread + nuts = gross.

Two lists...

Things that I can't get enough of lately...

• Donuts. How about the free donuts at work stop? Yeah, that'd be great.
• The Kooks. Especially this. Specifically 1:53-1:56.
  
• Six Feet Under
• String cheese
• My bed
• Rock Band nights
  

Things that I have had too much of...

• Donuts.
• Work in general (the day off tomorrow is...amazing)
  
• Winter
• Politics. I am invested in this election, more than I had wanted or hoped to be. And it's just getting old. And long. And we're not even close to the real election yet.
  

Lists that I discussed today...

• Things that I was called at work today. This one caused most of the following to be hurled my way:
• "Doesn't Katie look beautiful today"
  
• My memory fails, but I know I was called dynamic
• "You don't look as fat today as you did yesterday"
• "Your boy cut looks much less boyish than yesterday"
• "I like you better with makeup" (this one is the definite winner)
  
• "I'd hit that"
  
• Things that would horrify my coworkers:
• a "nip slip"
• anything involving "shark week"
  

Things I was called in the past week at work...

• prudish
• a "high school special"
• bitchy
• a cunt
• a slacker
• vacant
• frazzled
• terrific

One of these things is not like the other...and is also a lie...can you guess which? And note: I called myself one of the above but I thought I'd include it...can you guess which?

When you read this list, it really seems like I'm being abused at work...

Here's my first random list...

• I hate St. Patrick's Day for a variety of reasons (useless?). But this afternoon, when walking home, I stepped in a pile of vomit. And thus my hatred has reached its peak.
• I had a moment of panic while taking my final tonight where I didn't know what to do for a 20 point question (out of 100 points total). And uh...it occurred to me that it was my own fault since I didn't even watch the last two lectures (out of 11). But I did find an example in my notes (the panic happened when I "remembered" that I hadn't printed any StAX code, only SAX. But I didn't remember correctly). So I wrote down a page worth of bullshit.
• Do you think it's true that no one has normal, healthy relationships?
• Do you think you're happy?
• I have a few more list ideas, some of which are probably bad ideas. So if you have any list suggestions or lists you'd like to see, do share.
• Watching Six Feet Under for days/weeks has made me quite morbid. Who will come to my funeral? How will I die?
• This list is terrible. I'll try harder tomorrow.
• To end this list, I'm going to talk about bathing suits. I wear my bathing suit about once a year...and yet bathing suits are somehow a weakness of mine. I tend to want to purchase new ones. And this year I'm intrigued with the retro look. The best one I've found (ie, I could probably pull that off nicely) is:
  
  But, it's so freaking expensive. And really kind of low up top. And I hate that you can't try it on before you buy it. And really, do I need a new bathing suit?