Oh really...

E-harmony just sent me an email to try to explain why it is i'm scaring guys away. Before you make any assumptions, I filled out the e-harmony application for the sole purpose of seeing whether or not they would reject me. I somehow made it in and have been avoiding their emails ever since. Here are five things I should worry about - that are likely scaring those guys away:

1. I'm telling them all I love them. I should "rein in my desire to blurt out that i've totally fallen for him for at least a few months". Because honesty sucks. And I'm clearly a CRAZY person who says it on the first few dates. That surely explains why I'm single.
2. I'm manly - I crack my knuckles and belch. I should "think about promoting my gentler qualities in a relationship's early stages". No arm-wrestling or jaeger shots either. There goes my whole game.
3. I'm not supposed to talk about marriage. Worse yet, I'm not supposed to be some kind of CRAZY person who has dog-eared bridal magazines sitting around (WHO DOES THAT???).
4. Erm, this is the first one that doesn't really apply (since it is true that I belch I love you while thumbing through bridal magazines on most dates) - I'm not supposed to introduce my kids to the man until it's appropriate.
5. I'm not supposed to talk about my exes. I've got a past, but I'm supposed to keep it there.

How uplifting, e-harmony. Thanks for the advice on how to be a complete crazy person and hide it from my new love.

hello lover....

In case you missed it, I have ridiculously child-sized feet. I mean, ridiculous. Sometimes, I'm still surprised by the size I am forced to purchase. It is maddening. I got bored the other day and went shoe shopping and found the best ever company to happen to the child-sized shoe: Sugar.

Zappos kicks ass because I can shop by size (although it sucks to have to browse through the sparkly shoes, the overwhelmingly pink shoes and the light-up shoes). So I stumbled upon these first:

And honestly, I loved them and thought they were hideous all in the same thought....and that little grain of hate, sort of made me love them more. A bit twisted, but true. So I bought them. And received them about 36 hours after buying them (Zappos shipping? Always bumps me up from $0 standard to overnight). And I put them on and I love them passionately.

I also bought these, slightly more staid shoes:

And they also are quite delicious.

But...I think I could go down to a size 2. I refuse to return these shoes, because of the magnitude of my love. I know that's dumb, my plan is to get some of those heel support things...make them a little tighter. So my already ridiculously small foot is now smaller.

This post brought to you by Zappos and Sugar.

Easy...

Things that I decided I would like to have, right this minute:

• A rotary phone, with a long old cord and a heavy handset. Assuming I have it now, I would also have it in the future when I have a bookshelf full of old books. Phone would be lovely next to that shelf.
• A patio, a lawn chair, sunglasses and a glass of lemonade. To be used in one of two situations:
  • Lemonade is spiked, friends in similar chairs.
    
  • Alone, with a book (reading Harry Potter at the moment, but most books would do).
• A donut. And some garlic bread. Order of consumption not important.
• The will to do something...I have some ideas, I'm going to try to have the motivation to actually do them starting tomorrow.
  
• John Mayer, sans hair. I sort of hate him, but oh deliciousness.

And...

It turns out it's pretty impossible to get back into blogging when you've truly abandoned it for weeks. It also occurs to me that most of my old posts are based around one or two thoughts...and now instead of writing a post, I'm just putting those thoughts on twitter. So uh, bear with me while I try to come up with stuff to write...

I made a lot of mistakes, in my mind...

I started a well-intentioned post on Saturday and abandoned it midway. The flight was draining and I was tired...so it was a rambling, useless post. The truth is most of my posts are rambling and useless...but this one was really a stinker.

My basic point of that post (which has been deleted) was that I finally, for the first time in months, connected with music again. On the flight, I somehow wandered on to the right sound and I listened to it, completely, for the whole flight (Illinois - Sufjan Stevens). Mostly without any other distractions except the view from the window.

I was hoping this would stick, that suddenly music would resonate again...but today? Not so much. I had one moment with one song (back to Bjork today, really?) and spent the rest of the time hitting next on the random.

I want that feeling back...music working with the moment to make it bigger. And I can't seem to make it happen steadily. I clearly don't have the right music for work.

I hate my music.

Ok, ok....

So yes, I haven't written in...months? Weeks? Does anyone even remember now? Things everywhere got busy and I just...didn't want to write. Plus, when work has sort of taken over your life, it's hard to write about anything else. And I don't want to do that here.

I'm currently in Vegas, but getting comments from roomie #1 and roomie #2 cajoled me into writing. I'm not quitting the blog. I clearly took a little, indefinite length vacation there, but I'll be back.

Maybe I'll muster up the words to talk about this trip at some point. But right now, I'm going to go do some work. Working from Vegas...

In the short term, you can always join the flock and follow me on twitter...

Open...

I seem to have lost the power and will to blog. I wrote a "post" yesterday, looked at it and decided never to publish it; complete crap.

Some stuff has happened:

• I graduated. I will never complain about school again.
• I got my tongue untied. I am currently learning how to work it and at the same time, mourning the loss of my "stupid human trick". My former "butt tongue" now just looks all wonky. Sad, sad.
• I sold my car. I believe I drove it for the last time to/from my graduation. I think I should be sad...but I'm not. I'm honestly more excited about trying out the whole zipcar thing (driving a different car every trip? Not paying for gas/insurance/parking? Who wouldn't love that?).

And of course, stuff is currently happening. I would love to be able to talk about work here. But I won't. I'm so buried in it at this time that it's hard to think about anything else.

I promise to try here though...

Mosaic meme...

Meme stolen from Life in the Pink

Answer these questions:

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One word to describe you.
12. Your Flickr name.

The instructions to create the mosaic are:

* Type your answers to each of the questions below into Flickr Search
* Using only the first page, pick an image
* Copy and paste each of the URLs into the mosaic maker

Letter...

Dear Obama,

I love you.

Love,
Katie


Dear Hillary,

Please stop. You will not be in the white house (or allowed near it). And not conceding? Is just hurting your tiny, tiny chance of getting in on Obama's coattails.

Katie

PS to you all - election night party, my place, featuring a cake like this or maybe this, entrance fee = proof of voting (even if not for Obama)

In which I am a tight wad...

I am currently watching 'how it's made' and they're making a harp. It's amazingly interesting.

It just now came to my attention that I've suddenly become frugal (or if you listen to some family members, more frugal than they think I was). A tight wad if you will. I'm trying my damnedest to get out of the apartment and into a condo and it suddenly makes sense to bum a free vacation and sell my car. Maybe it always would have made sense. Maybe. But I think the whole striving for real estate is making me pinch pennies more (I almost just typed, "making me tighter" and that seemed like a grave error. Still does).

As an aside, 'how it's made' has one of the worst shots/scenes in the history of TV, where whatever is being made glides in front of some bullshit (the background NEVER makes sense) on a little pedestal. It annoys me to no end.

I wrote this whole post because I just found myself almost signing up for zipcar and then deciding that I should wait until the car sale goes through. I admit to being absurdly excited about zipcar. I also am excited about not paying for my parking space or insurance. I will save over $200 a month. That doesn't include what I'll save in gas. I'm so cheap I won't even sign up for zipcar 2 weeks early.

Not open to that...

Dear upstairs neighbor lady,

Having my windows wide open does NOT mean it is OK to walk up to the screen and talk to my cats. Because when I come downstairs from the bathroom, it's sort of startling and mildly scary to have a stranger standing in my window scratching on the screen. Then you ask me wildly awkward questions about my cats and lead me to believe that there might be something a little wrong with you.

And it was the most uncomfortable minute or two of 2008.

Not much love,

Katie

Blankity blank...

Because I really have nothing to write about (which I will blame on my not doing anything but work lately)...here's my latest etsy wishlist (click picture to see listing/etsy shop):

Bobbypins...


Ring...


Clutch (which sold out from under me, sadly. But I still love it, from a pure place, one that knows I can't have it)...


Buttons...


Print...


Token robot items...

A departure...

Hope you all had a lovely long weekend...

In order to get back on this blogging thing, here's a list of things I sometimes kind of want, sometimes don't want at all and sometimes I think I can't be without...

1. Wii. Mainly so that I can get wii fit. But also, Mario Kart. Ok, fine, wii sports too.
   
2. Rock Band. Mostly I think I can't be without it. Then I look around my apartment and think...really? Rock band would force me to move furniture. But I could have an avatar! Or two. Or five. And I could try to sing (I do not have the confidence to sing in front of you for the first time). And my drumming skills would explode.
3. A trip to Vegas.
4. A kitten. Damned if I don't go into the adoption center at Petsmart and get hooked on the troubled kittens every single time. I have a weakness for cats in cages. And calicos exacerbate that. But this one is certainly on the list of things I DEFINITELY do not need.
5. A condo. I always want this.
6. This election to be over already, Hillary to leave in disgrace (and debt) and Obama to eke out a win (or not eke...to kill).
7. About 10 things on etsy every day. That site is killer. Ordered within the last month that I do not need: shirt, ring, earrings, bracelet.
   
8. Work to be less about deadlines and more about the actual work.
   

It never rains...

It's funny, the way the posting on this blog goes in waves. I'll spend weeks being nothing but silly and then I'll hit some valley and suddenly it's negative post, negative post, negative post.

I'm just having one of those days where it starts off swimmingly, I mean, really good. A hilarious story about a white suit and a rib down the back at lunch had me laughing hysterically. Meetings were mostly good. And then bam. Stick in the spokes, I swerve. Now I'm just in that horrible balancing/juggling act of how I handle the next 40 minutes.

I think there are a lot of people, friends included, that don't think I'm entirely human (lack of feeling). And that's my own fault, because I'm so self-contained. If I'm upset, you aren't invited to see. I'll handle it.

So this is me, telling you I'm human. And I'm struggling with how to go to bed without tears.

Recently it's come to my attention that my feelings about loyalty are abnormal. I am loyal to a fault. Probably to my detriment in certain situations (invited to a party by a guy I'd love to see again? No thanks, I already had plans with my friend). And if there is one thing that I'm bound to get angry about it's a situation where I feel like someone was disloyal (the one large fight I can remember having with the bestie was because she backed out on me for a guy. Sure, he's her husband now, but at the time I needed someone to help me move and she could have survived a weekend without seeing him).

I am sure that a lot of this comes from my family. I am fairly close to my extended family on my Dad's side. We always spend holidays together. Christmas Eve has turned into such a big deal that even those with spouses don't do every other year anymore (it was tried by a few and it failed. Pretty miserably). And while this doesn't ring of loyalty so obviously - it is - it's family loyalty. We attend birthday parties, we attend graduations, christenings, baby showers, weddings - we put family first. And I guess that just bleeds into my friendships.

And I just don't think there is enough loyalty around these days...

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I have been thinking about writing a post like this for more than a week now. And I opened up this blog earlier and just felt wholly uninspired (I think I'm using up all my inspiration on lame things like twitter, wording emails perfectly to play politics and crazy dumbed down CMS capable code). But, here I am. My family is pretty kick ass and I was reminded of that again tonight.