Christmas party antics....

Boy oh boy was it an intensely strange day. A little fill-in: I had my holiday party today, at noon we all left, went to a delicious restaurant (name withheld to protect myself from prying colleagues, just in case...).

Wow.

I was told beforehand (by a bitter, more on them later) that the party is awkward, and we all try to mingle and then leave as soon as the food is gone. Ok, whoever said that lied. And not a white lie, a big honking juicy lie.

It was nice because I sat next to quiet new girl (ok, new lady, she's married with two small children) and my underwriter. We all bonded. Then time wore on and people started to get maybe a little drunk. Just so you all know, I decided to abstain since my tolerance is non-existent and I did not want to be the drunk girl suggesting we all do a round of shots. I mean, I am trying to prove myself as the youngest. Instead of me, it was a drunk woman (late 50s) suggesting a round of shots. 12 people said yes. There are roughly 20 people at our company. I was involved in a conversation about caning, peeing on people and fisting. This is not your average Christmas party here. Oh, and just in case you thought maybe I was some renegade speaking with other outcasts, the dirty conversation involved both vice presidents. I'm blown away by this party.

I never realized that not drinking anything besides water was going to be an issue. But oh boy did I get harassed. Maybe because as some put it, "you're 23, you should be plastered all the time." My response: did that in college. When I try to explain to people that I'm not really like that, I don't enjoy drinking all that much, they don't understand. Eventually, the drunk guy (new guy, very boisterous) was harassing me so much, my boss and company owner threatened him with italian mob connections of my dads (which as far as I know, do not exist). Truly interesting. And cute new guy (not the drunk) was very much cute. Since i found out quiet new girl is married with children, i feel like my competition for cute new guy has decreased (she's very cute). The only competition left is his girlfriend. Who rumor has it, he lives with. I can slay that dragon.....

Then I caught a ride home with "the bitters." This is what I am going to call the people who hate their job, life and everyone around them. During the party most of this crowd remained in one corner overtly making fun of others. My underwriter even commented, you know, its amazing that they do that so openly. These are also the people who surround my cubicle. Lucky me. By sitting there, I have somehow become OK with them. Somehow, I'm accepted in this group because out of their mouths, "You're all right Katiekins, you mind your own business." So, I got to listen to them rip into every little thing the people they don't like did (everyone in the company besides themselves). I was even mentioned (i'm smart because i know who my dad is, and i'm using that to help myself...nice, huh?). Anyway, it was an eye-opener.

Here's my take on things: one girl got ripped on during the car ride for saying that the bitters were the way they are because they don't "play the game" (she said this at dinner where her tongue may have been a little loose, don't worry, she was not in the car). Sure, this whole work thing is politics, and the bitters are on the wrong side completely. But the smart way to look at this is not the way said girl does. You shouldn't play the game. You should just be a respectful, respectable, decent human being, work hard and you'll get where you want to go. I will not be an underwriter because of my dad (although thanks for the "in" dad), he just got my foot in the door. Now that my foots in, it is my job to work for it, not to play for it. I guess the way i see it is that the bitters don't know what hard work is and cannot possibly be happy people, which is why they need to belittle others. But I am happy. I can sit, listen to them and keep my mouth shut and therefore be "accepted." Or I could stoop to their level and rip on them to others. Which is the right way?

Moving on:
A while back, maybe in middle of November, I had a moment with a cute guy on the train. There was a conversation we pretty much had to listen in on and were both smirking, and caught each other and smiled, etc. Yesterday he was on my El again. Not as cute as I remember. But I think he was trying to have a moment again. I sort of panicked. My plan is, next month when I see him again, I'll have the moment. Why not?

On the ride home today a very cute boy and I were making eyes at each other. Its wonderful to see cute boys, be able to almost openly stare and realize you will never see them again. Liberating...

Complete and utter torture...

Today maybe hasn't been the best. Work was fine, everything was going great and then I get home. No mail. Ok, not a big deal, but still no fun.

I get to my messages. First, the doctor leaves a scary, please call us right away message. I can't really call until tomorrow, but that should be great fun. I assume it'll be nothing. But of course, the urgent message has to make me worry.

And then I decide to call Comcast and tell them they suck. So my basic cable still is unwatchable. I get all the digital channels, but NBC is completely torturous to watch (fuzzy seriously bad shaking double picture with static noises). WGN/WB has faint double picture that might be getting worse, etc. So I call. I tell them the problem still has not been resolved (three scheduled appointments, one cancelled without telling me, so i still spent the sunday at home waiting for the cable guy, the other two actually happened). Ok, that's three Saturday or Sundays wasted. I hate this. I'm being punished for wanting to watch Scrubs. She honestly said to me on the phone, but you have 100s of other channels. But I don't care about the 100s of other channels, give me basic cable.

Every single time my appointment goes like this: Oh, you already have an amplifier. Ok. Let me see the outside. Oh yeah, bad wiring out back, you need a line technician. I'll schedule the appointment for next week, you don't need to be around for that. Problem should be fixed. Three line technicians later, SAME PROBLEM. I feel like screaming. I wish I could switch my cable company, and this next time, if they don't fix it, I'm calling my landlord. My landlord makes us use certain companies for all our utilities. No problems with the power or water or phone, but fucking cable.

I am really upset. Its just the small stuff you know? And i'm sure all you boys out there love to hear this, but i'm hormonal, and the lady being rude and telling me to change the channel makes me cry. And she must know i'm crying because you can't talk like a normal person when you're upset. Maybe if I was a man, and had a deep scary voice they would take me seriously. But instead i have to schedule another useless appointment for Saturday. Where I promise, i know he will tell me that there's nothing he can do and a line technician will be out sometime this week.

I'm going to bed. Maybe this week will get better. I get off early on Friday, maybe i'll be really bad and buy myself a whole chocolate cake to make up for this whole debacle. Maybe sometime in the future i'll be able to watch Scrubs...

Sorry to be such a downer kids, i'm supposed to be in the Christmas spirit. I'll go water my christmas tree now and go to sleep and hope tomorrow will be better.

Winter cheer...

-- I get a little warm in my heart when i think of winter...--

The christmas tree is up! And tinseled! Ok, so i tried to take a picture, but as you can tell, I am not photographer. You really do not get the full effect of the lights and the tinsel. But nothing much I can do. I was getting grief for not posting a picture or blogging for a week or so (sorry masses, I've been really busy decorating, present buying and christmas carding). At the end of each day this weekend my back was KILLING me, so i sat on the couch and felt proud of all i'd accomplished. I wish I could have christmas decorations up year round. My apartment feels homey. But i do think the coffee table helped. I am the kind of person that feels more comfortable in smaller spaces (but not so small as to be claustrophobic), anyway, the coffee table makes the living room feel better to me. Smaller. Is that weird?

So do you ever say something, and then the second its out of your mouth you're like...uh WHAT?? Because I did that today. I don't know if I was a little spacey (ok, i do know, i was...but i woke up at 3am last night with a pounding headache...sidetrack: the weirdest thing happened when I went down at 3am to take advil. My cell phone was lit up. Which only happens if i've just opened it or if someone is calling, neither of which was happening in this case. Ghost maybe??). Back to the point, I was leaving for the day, quite excited to get out of work and come home and eat leftover tacos (good for me for making tacos). One of the vice presidents of my company (read: head honcho) was in the elevator with me. As we were parting for different exits I said, "have a good tomorrow." what i meant to say was "have a good night, see you tomorrow" i think. But it didn't come out like that. She said thanks. How weird of a moment. It is almost a little mortifying.

I'm off to watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I know I've seen parts (i've probably seen every part, just not all at once), but i've been told I have to watch it. We're going to Spamalot at the very end of December...

Happy winter! Even with the cold I like the winter. Aaahh, winter.

My living room, with my newly installed coffee table (watch out, there is one wonky leg) and pretty "holographic" snowflake lights in the window. If you haven't been to visit, the fireplace is on the other wall, across from the big couch, the balcony for the second floor looks down at this view (i'm under the overhang for the balcony). More pictures sometime... 

My christmas tree...notice the fuzzy star and the weird extending arm of one branch. But it looks great, and I love it... 

look out! i'm bloggin' again...

I wasn't going to blog today. I have this theory that people don't read your previous blog because they get stuck on your current blog and therefore they miss out on fun things. But I had the weirdest thing happen earlier, and just now i had a bad thing happen. So here they are.

This is me, at the cleaners at 8am:
Me: Hi, i have one pair of pants.
Little asian cleaner man (old): You are tiny! ha ha ha, how tiny are you? You must wear size two.
Me: Um, no.
Him: No, ha ha ha, size 4?
Me: Nope.
Him: What? No, what size you wear?
Me: Uhhh, 8.
Him: (scandalized) What?? (walking around the counter to come and check things out for himself) No way. You're so small.

Ok, yes, this did happen. How could i make this up? At first, i was kind of weirded out, then i was like, hell yeah, i'm tiny. But then I got right back to totally weirded out. It was kind of invasion of my privacy a little and very, very weird. I don't think i enjoyed the thing at all.

And just now, the bad thing that happened is that my sink won't turn off. It's been threatening for weeks. But yes, the bathroom sink will not turn off. I'm concerned that the plinking water will keep me awake. If i'm crabby tomorrow...you know why. The landlord's first test....will they pass?

so this is love...

No I'm not in love. But I did see On the Record, and for some reason thats the one Disney song out of about 60 that got stuck in my head. That and that song from Mulan that Christina Aguilera sang. The four main singers in the musical were pretty mind-blowing as far as the whole singing thing goes. I was asking my mom if she ever wished she could sing like that, i mean, what would it be like to open your mouth and have pure beauty come out? I was saying I could never be on stage, but i'd be belting out songs all the time in my apartment, specifically from the balcony. Even with my horrible tone deaf voice, I plan on staging some wonderful interpretations of Disney songs from my balcony any day now.

As I walk up the stairs in my apartment (duplex) I always notice the one or two VERY hollow stairs at the bottom of the case. I can't help but wonder if sometime back in the day someone stashed hidden treasure. I honestly wonder this. Just goes to show I should not be 23. Anyway, the building is old, there could be good stuff under there. But, here is what would happen if i pried off the stair: the stair would be ruined and unsalvagable and then what the hell do i do? Plus, there would only be animal carcasses and giant mutant hairy spiders in there. But oh how I wonder every time i hit those stairs...

Does anyone remember Bedknobs and Broomsticks? Because while watching Disney last night, I couldn't help but remember some of the old great movies of my childhood...and I somehow keep remembering this one. Anyone? Also, there was a song in On the Record that came from a movie I had never even heard of, "So Dear to My Heart." Any ideas? The song is Lavender Blue. And strangely, the flower place I got my Mom flowers from at Thanksgiving uses a quote from that song on their card. Weird...

just let go...

I've been thinking a lot lately about growing up. Its always so scary to move on from high school to college, because you're a "grown up." Or even turning 21 (which i managed to do with particular style spending hours and hours at Heathrow airport trying to get to Rome on a plan that kept getting delayed). Lately though, I really am growing up.

Everyday on the "L" there are dozens of people that could be roughly my age (lets have a wide range here, between 22 and 30). All of these women look so turned out. In their nice coats, boots, pretty work bags, slick hairdos. They all look old and they all look the same. And then there's me. I have reverted back to a back-pack, i wear sneakers to work and then change, i still have a fuzzy ball on my hat and my coat is mostly a warmth provider and not a fashion statement.

I used to think that this fashionable young working Chicago woman was what I wanted to be. But i don't think i'm capable of such a huge change. I guess I just cannot imagine having aching feet, a freezing head and a backache every night just so that I look good on the ride to and from work. Sure, when i get to work, it's all business. I put on the nice shoes, take off the coat and hat and stow the backpack. Maybe if i had the other mentality, the one where its more important what you look like than how you feel, maybe then what?...maybe then someone would pick me up on the "L"?

I have always been an odd one. I guess certain things I take very seriously, like my work ethic and certain things i don't, like the new trendy coat style. I cannot imagine going on a four hour lunch with a colleague and coming back a little drunk (it happened) or being so unable to do my work that i lie and blame it on someone else (also happens). I take pride in my work. I don't particularly enjoy drinking either, which does sometimes categorize me in the "old lady" section. But at the same time, I love stupid things, like Chicago lit up for Christmas, Harry Potter (oh the third movie was a thrill tonight),my future cats and probably the musical i'll see tomorrow night that is all Disney songs (got some ridicule at work for that, but i stood my ground, i'll like it).

Its just interesting to think that if i wanted to, if i truly tried i could be dressed to the nines on the "L", but screw "What not to Wear," its all lies. That stuff isn't comfortable.

Ah Chicago..

On my way home from work today, while on the "L" I was quite enjoying the city lights. When you ride the brown line around the loop you can catch a glimpse down State street, and other areas that just look dazzling during Christmas-time. Anyway, I'm always one of the "L" riders who is gazing out the window. People must think I've never seen it before, but its like new every time.

Tonight for some reason I was more awed than usual. Possibly because it was a fair night and I could actually see things out the window. But man, the Chicago theatre sign was amazing. And then I stopped paying attention. Because really, between the loop and Fullerton (my stop), things are kind of residential. I was trying to see christmas trees in windows, but thats all. Except...right after or right before Sedgwick, i can't remember which, the "L" line is running through a fairly low building area. I startled out of my daydream (vivid one, about Gael Garcia Bernal, so attracted to him) to the most beautiful view of the entire city. So clear, and all lit up. I could see from the Hancock clear past the Sears Tower. I throughly recommend gazing out an "L" window on the brown line. Just make sure you're on the left side of the car, next to the window.

I loved you Guinevere...

I am very tired (isn't it just the way it works that the day you go back to work after a long break is always exhausting?), and plan to get in bed quickly. So i apologize if there may be some spelling and or grammatical errors. I'm already having some trouble with Guenivere. Because that's how some websites have it, but i personally think it looks better like i spelled it (although the more i look at it, the stronger I feel on its misspelling. but i'm keeping it, because i still prefer it to all the e's in the right one).

I have some pain in my leg, which i contribute to one of three things:

1. Walking around all day yesterday at the zoo (the zoo!)
2. I'm dying of a blood clot (i am a hypochondriac, this should have been expected)
3. I did a little jig earlier and I wrenched something? (for those of you who have spent excessive amounts of time with me, you know what kind of jig I am speaking of. For the rest of you: sometimes, usually with no aid of music or anything of the sort, i will break into a little dance. I do not know why i do this, except I'm usually feeling chipper and have no outlet besides a little dance. Personally, i think the world would be happier if more people danced around sometimes. And not in a pretty way, in a happy geeky way.)

I had a wonderful dream last night about a boy from high school. I had a crush on him when I was a junior and he was a freshmen. I may have even taken a job because he worked there (the reasons i took the job are fuzzy...it may be because he worked there and i can be stalker-esque, or it may be because a friend of mine worked there and got me the in, we'll never know). Incidentally, we became some kind of friends, and he liked me when i was a senior and he was a sophomore...but no dice, i'd already moved on. Plus i have a horrible disease where i never like anyone that likes me (its true! i may be dying from it, or just it may be why i'm alone). Anyway, it was a delightful dream, and i do think it was "implied" that we had sex, except after he spent the night, i woke up and was totally terrified that i had fallen asleep while we were having sex. Yes, we slept in a dream, and i remember feeling like i woke up. And then the fear of having fallen asleep during the juicy parts. Is that weird? I think it may be...maybe it just means i have some sexual insecurities, whatever, who doesn't?

Ok, I must go to bed. One more thing: for those of you who had expressed the same fascination as i with the merchandise mart here in chicago, i now pass it every day on the el. I have some inside scoop: the frustration of not being allowed in as a "commoner" is now over...this weekend, friday, saturday, sunday...open to the public. Some kind of show. I think i'm going. If you're interested I was thinking early Saturday or Sunday. It costs money, but i think it goes to children's memorial...and really, its just a one floor show deal i think (see website). but it says thousands of gifts...and hello, all you people i have to buy presents for get harder every year...

Ah the frustration...

First, I hope everyone's Thanksgiving was great...abundant turkey and stuffing (my fav). My holiday was great, suitably relaxing. However, I must say, that the last day and a half has just been full of horrible, anger inducing frustration. A very small sampling:

• NBC still not working...called comcast, apparently their computer system has some major glitche: If the area they are scheduling an appointment in is suffering an outage, they can't schedule an appointment (does that make any sense?? no). So besides the fact that HBO, and all my other channels are fuzzy (because of said outage) I can't make an appointment for the problem I've had since the beginning of my service (which will not go away after outage). Was that confusing enough?
• Got two letters today from my insurance company. One: Per your request to cancel your homeowners policy, it is cancelled effective Nov. 1 (keep in mind it should have been effective Nov 4, and i NEVER asked to cancel it). Two: a refund check for the premium i already paid on that insurance. What kind of shitty business is this. Per my request? I gave no request.

That was enough frustration to have me screaming. I think i might have been in a foul mood anyway, but its always horrible feeling to have a temper tantrum. Stomping up really loud stairs and yelling swears does little to rid me of my anger, and only embarrasses me later since I tend to get over the crest of my anger fairly quickly. I need someone to punch, would you like to come over and let me hit you?

Housewarming was fun. If you weren't there you missed some good food and interesting conversation. Nothing too funny to report.

Plan for the rest of the weekend is to clean this sty. Possibly involving loud music...

I feel like my blog is not funny. Maybe it'll be funny as soon as I get through all the mundane settling in things (still have a box or two to unpack, obviously still having cable issues etc.). For now...off to squint at my terribly fuzzy TV.

Eeeeek.

There are some things that will never stop being amusing. And some that will never stop being creepy. And others that always give a warm fuzzy feeling. Lets make a list:

Amusing:

1. Man on the "L" with very terrible, placed on top of his head toupee. There was no blending in. It was just there.
2. People tripping and falling but NOT hurting themselves. If they hurt themselves, then its kind of scary. But if they just trip and look embarrassed, that's funny.
3. Some of the things people wear. Seen today: Very long puffy coat, obviously worn over a skirt, with pale legs sticking out. On the feet? White socks and sandals. Yes...this person was getting off of the "L" at rush hour morning time. Going to work where??
4. The silly little habits people have. For example, my "boss" who I assist, when she gets excited tends to talk to herself and make hooray and yippee noses in a high-pitched voice. When she is caught doing this...she is a little embarrassed, but its funny.

Creepy:

1. Overweight, scary, "off-looking" old white guys. Not sure why, but they scare the be-jeezy out of me on the El. They can look really creepy...and then you can't help but look over your shoulder on the walk home.
2. Weird, 800 legged bug that was on my ceiling the other day. It was big and scary. But I am short and scared...and so it is still wandering this apartment somewhere.
3. The sometimes ability to feel what is going on. I have kind of felt like the person who got fired was on "their" way out. And yesterday the office did not feel right. And there were meetings in numerous offices (office doors closed in my office means someone is in trouble). It just felt off. But then, when it did happen, i somehow felt guilty. Because I felt like I had known and should have said something. Which is not a good feeling.

Warm/fuzzy:

1. Puppies! Ok, come on, you knew that was coming (if you know me at all).
2. Watching someone enjoy their music so much that they don't notice they are dancing or singing (or they do and don't care). I saw a guy today dancing seriously behind the wheel of his car. That brought a smile. And a warm/fuzzy.
3. Feeling like I'm happy and secure in my job (even after there's been chaos at work).
4. Waking up in the morning seriously refreshed! Its starting to happen in my apartment! I'm getting used to the noises (old place, it creaks and bangs) and my bed is unbelievable...

Ok, time to stop. I don't know where that all came from. I do have other things...some other time...

Hello again world..

Hello! I'm here, yay! Ok, but only for a short bit (i'm dialing up). Do you know how terrible it is to live without internet? Honestly, at first, no big deal. But I lost touch with many of my friends very quickly. Although more than a few of you have been calling and "real" mailing me, so it's been OK.

My place pretty much kicks ass. Ok, there's times when it feels a little empty (which i think will be fewer once I get some cats),but most of the time i do whatever I want, whenever I want. How delightful!

I have tons to say about Chicago, and issues that have come up with friends and some "deep" stuff (is it deep if you claim its deep, and is it deep if you call it stuff? probably no on both counts).

Quick exciting news: housewarming this weekend, if you want to come, let me know! Most everyone I speak to frequently got an invitation, but that doesn't mean i don't love you infrequent'r's just as much (ok, i don't, it's true. muah-ha-ha).

This is not exciting, but at the same time, its quite huge: someone at work got fired today. Shocking!! She does the same job I did (i got a promotion, yay me!) so there will be more work for me...its complicated, but I will have to help pick up the slack.

Off to study, have a test next week and a big weekend, college friend coming to visit...so much to do!

Moving day...

Is icky. Rainy and cold.

No new blogs for quite some time now...I won't have internet for two weeks or so. So until then...have a good two weeks.

Happy Birthday to me....

I'm old! Ok, no not really, but i am old-er. One year. How lovely. And what a lucky girl I am to have my birthday on election day every 4 years.

I had a nice day. Everyone at work went out of their way to figure out who others were saying happy birthday to. Its like finding the juicy piece of gossip. And I got to flirt with almost cute new guy. Fun.

Its been nice, I like days where everyone pays attention to me (although to be honest, once a year is enough. I'm not good at people paying too much attention: when my underwriter told me she'd take me to lunch soon to celebrate I kind of panicked and ignored. We chatted about it later, but honestly, I'm so awkward). So thanks all for being nice to me!

One more nice thing about my day is that i felt a little better about moving. Spoke with a few chicagoans (cousin, old friend) and I do know people in the city. Woo hoo.

One last thing: GO KERRY