I loved you Guinevere...

I am very tired (isn't it just the way it works that the day you go back to work after a long break is always exhausting?), and plan to get in bed quickly. So i apologize if there may be some spelling and or grammatical errors. I'm already having some trouble with Guenivere. Because that's how some websites have it, but i personally think it looks better like i spelled it (although the more i look at it, the stronger I feel on its misspelling. but i'm keeping it, because i still prefer it to all the e's in the right one).

I have some pain in my leg, which i contribute to one of three things:

1. Walking around all day yesterday at the zoo (the zoo!)
2. I'm dying of a blood clot (i am a hypochondriac, this should have been expected)
3. I did a little jig earlier and I wrenched something? (for those of you who have spent excessive amounts of time with me, you know what kind of jig I am speaking of. For the rest of you: sometimes, usually with no aid of music or anything of the sort, i will break into a little dance. I do not know why i do this, except I'm usually feeling chipper and have no outlet besides a little dance. Personally, i think the world would be happier if more people danced around sometimes. And not in a pretty way, in a happy geeky way.)

I had a wonderful dream last night about a boy from high school. I had a crush on him when I was a junior and he was a freshmen. I may have even taken a job because he worked there (the reasons i took the job are fuzzy...it may be because he worked there and i can be stalker-esque, or it may be because a friend of mine worked there and got me the in, we'll never know). Incidentally, we became some kind of friends, and he liked me when i was a senior and he was a sophomore...but no dice, i'd already moved on. Plus i have a horrible disease where i never like anyone that likes me (its true! i may be dying from it, or just it may be why i'm alone). Anyway, it was a delightful dream, and i do think it was "implied" that we had sex, except after he spent the night, i woke up and was totally terrified that i had fallen asleep while we were having sex. Yes, we slept in a dream, and i remember feeling like i woke up. And then the fear of having fallen asleep during the juicy parts. Is that weird? I think it may be...maybe it just means i have some sexual insecurities, whatever, who doesn't?

Ok, I must go to bed. One more thing: for those of you who had expressed the same fascination as i with the merchandise mart here in chicago, i now pass it every day on the el. I have some inside scoop: the frustration of not being allowed in as a "commoner" is now over...this weekend, friday, saturday, sunday...open to the public. Some kind of show. I think i'm going. If you're interested I was thinking early Saturday or Sunday. It costs money, but i think it goes to children's memorial...and really, its just a one floor show deal i think (see website). but it says thousands of gifts...and hello, all you people i have to buy presents for get harder every year...