Thursday, August 02, 2007


OK all, so this weekend I get my hair chopped off...and I have no plan. No plan. It's actually a little scary now that it's so close.

I don't have much to blog about, but I did want to outline my "build up your horrible body image/self-esteem" plan. Two of my friends were bothered by the last bachelorette party blog post. And after chatting, I realize I have some self-esteem issues. So, my short-term plan is to artificially inflate my body image/self-esteem through...artificial means. This plan involves:
  • Hopefully hot new hair cut. I don't think it's going to be as short as I'm willing to go, so even if I hate the first cut, there will always be somewhere to go with it...right? Right.
  • Wearing a full face of makeup (for me that just means foundation + mascara) a few times a week. At least once a week to work, if not way more. I need, need, need to look in the mirror under those hideous fluorescent lights and not think "Oh, you look skeletal and dead tired today. Pretty awful really".
  • Starting to gain muscle. See below for lengthy discourse on how I hate that I want to do this, but feel for my sake, I have to right now.
My sister wrote a lovely post about a book she read and about how awful it is that there is a societal pressure to be thin...and one of the comments said exactly how I feel (and yes, I'm going to quote a comment):
the saddest part is that I see my friends and think about what amazing, intelligent, truly beautiful women they are, but I can't see that in myself, because all I can see is the many ways that I don't measure up to the standard of beauty set by magazines
And I'm not sure how to fix that. So I'm going for the artificial ways. I'm not going to diet. I'm tired of dieting. But I do desire muscle. I would very much like my arms to have tone instead of being entirely like gelatinous blobs of spotty fat (spotty because of that pesky skin condition, keratosis pilarsis, which won't go away...and the only way to make it better is to use gross ointments and lotion. Not worth it).

So I'm joining the gym that is right around the corner from work and that is discounted for me. The only time I ever enjoyed...moving...was when I was using an elliptical. So, I'm hoping I can get back into the swing of hitting the gym...for 30 minutes or so. I also have high hopes for classes. I would very much like to try "Cardio Party" or spinning. Yes. Spinning.

That's the plan kids. And it starts Monday.


  1. i think i'm gonna join some classes too - the money always is hard for me to spend, but this is for your health right? so that's supposed to make it worth it I guess. Plus, when I would take classes in high school (with K&L - and I was the only one that every went!) I actually found them lots of fun. So I cheer you on in your goal of the no-diet-yes-excerise

  2. If I weren't incredibly lazy, I'd do weights. Anyway, the before and afters for this woman are pretty astounding:

  3. Making the decision to make a change is easily the hardest part. Sticking to your plan after the first week or two is nearly as hard. I think it would be best to do some research before you head to the gym, or talk to someone you know who has already accomplished what you're thinking of doing and see what worked for them.

    Personally, I just read the book Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle ( ) and it really opened my eyes to how diet and exercise truly act on your body. I suggest either checking out this book (unfortunately it's $40 and you have to buy it as an eBook) or finding another one that you like.

    Regardless of how you do it, congrats on your new plan. You've taken the first step to being happier with your life, and it really is a huge step.