Oh wait, no that's just birdshit. For the second time in my life I got crapped on by a bird today. How many of you have been shit on once? Twice?
The first time I was crapped on was in college. I was hurrying home from a later class (I could make dinner if I hurried). At the time I was living in my sorority house which was quite literally, 50 steps away when the bird shat on me. Plunk. Right on my head. I was a little horrified. I ran inside. I made my friend Janet help me wash my hair in the sink. Then I hurried down to dinner. I actually remember it all fondly. Lots of laughing and sink shampooing. You know, sink shampooing is probably some random, generic mental image people get when they think of sorority sisters....sink shampooing, facials, pillow fights.
Today I was walking home from lunch with my coworkers. Some green shit landed on my head. And no one noticed. So I somehow got most of it out of my hair, put my hood up until I could hit a mirror and managed to keep it quiet. This is a victory, a super triumph. Since all of the coworkers I was with are sarcastic, ridiculing types and would have never let me forget the bird shit incident. One in particular. In fact, I somehow feel like I dodged a bullet. I got shit on, and yet I feel relieved that no on noticed that I got shit on. Weird feeling.