Wednesday, August 15, 2007

The sky is falling, the sky is falling...

Oh wait, no that's just birdshit. For the second time in my life I got crapped on by a bird today. How many of you have been shit on once? Twice?

The first time I was crapped on was in college. I was hurrying home from a later class (I could make dinner if I hurried). At the time I was living in my sorority house which was quite literally, 50 steps away when the bird shat on me. Plunk. Right on my head. I was a little horrified. I ran inside. I made my friend Janet help me wash my hair in the sink. Then I hurried down to dinner. I actually remember it all fondly. Lots of laughing and sink shampooing. You know, sink shampooing is probably some random, generic mental image people get when they think of sorority sisters....sink shampooing, facials, pillow fights.

Today I was walking home from lunch with my coworkers. Some green shit landed on my head. And no one noticed. So I somehow got most of it out of my hair, put my hood up until I could hit a mirror and managed to keep it quiet. This is a victory, a super triumph. Since all of the coworkers I was with are sarcastic, ridiculing types and would have never let me forget the bird shit incident. One in particular. In fact, I somehow feel like I dodged a bullet. I got shit on, and yet I feel relieved that no on noticed that I got shit on. Weird feeling.


  1. wow!

    having my own bird shit story to share, i totally get your dodged a bullet feeling coming from not being noticed.

    first, my story:
    sixth grade. an awkward year, what with the bang-growing-out project, my own tweener gawky-ness, and the recent advent of jams as a sartorial stylemaker. spring break. disney world, orlando. walking down the 'sidewalk' near the Swiss Family treehouse, when a seagull gracefully swooped down and dropped a major load of crap right on the crown of my head. and seagulls, let me tell you, are fairly large birds with fairly nasty diets. it did not go unnoticed. my poor mom had to go into the ginormous ladies room with me and try to help my 11 year old self wash it out of my hair in the institutional sinks without adjustable taps -you know push down, on or off. it was awesome.

    as for you, i think you definitely dodged a bullet. i know of whom you speak and honestly, you would NEVER LIVE IT DOWN. EVER. i shall take it to my grave, never fear.

    so, think of it like some awful greeting card.

    Life shits on everyone sometimes.

    [open card]

    Not everyone can keep their head high and their hood up.
    Congratulations to a class act!

  2. I also fondly remember your bird shit story.

  3. I used to have a student worker from India who told me that a bird pooping on you was good luck. I was cheered by this until I realized that I had only been shat upon twice in my lifetime. Was this my total luck quotient? E gads.

  4. First time we ever played golf with Pam and Jeff I got it right on the top of my forehead as I was preparing to tee off on the 6th hole. It kind of broke the ice with them...we all laughed. Never did figure where the culprit came from or went...

  5. green field...
    my sister spun me around in circles
    are we happy?
    i am.
    but we?
    i look up... and so does she.
    birds fly?
    so why cant we?
    birds shit from the sky.
    bird shit in HER eye...