Wednesday, September 07, 2005

The boogeyman...

Um....I just wrote some stuff and then blogger blinked and bam...gone.

I have this paranoia about burglars/murderers hiding in my apartment waiting for me to go to sleep so they can rape/maim/kill/burgle me (not in any particular order). This weird fear has a side effect: essentially there is only one closed my apartment. And I have five. So before bed every night I open that closet, look into its depths (its deep and long and filled with forgotten shoes and winter gear) for the murderer. It occurred to me tonight that if there was a burglar/murderer there, what exactly was I going to do? Slam the door in their face and then...?

Clearly my logic is off. I should not check the closet just in case it's only a burglar. Because the burglar really just wants to take my stuff and not hurt me. But if I see him...he might be tempted to murder. And the murderer? Well, he'll get me either wouldn't it be better if I was comfy in my bed with a weapon handy in my bedside table? [side note: no I am not speaking of dildos...I am speaking of the saw I keep on the lower level of my bedside table. Yes. A saw. Believe it]

A digression: way back when I was promised a bat for a of my friends knows me so well she was going to find some old wooden bat and decorate it for me so I could prop it up next to the bed. You know, in the event that the murderer came. Maybe if I had the bat, I could put the saw in the tool drawer. Just saying is all....


  1. i dont get that feeling about closets (although my closets are open too - thats just laziness); i get that feeling about closed shower curtains!

    if im in my bathroom, or somebody elses bathroom, i always wonder if there is someone hunched over in the bathtub JUST waiting for me to settle down to business so that they can jump out at me.

    i also have the same creeping suspicioun when im taking a shower. ha!


  2. Damn, you're right. I am going to make you that bat still. And geesh, an ax, all I have is a little wooden bat and I was told I was crazy!! You will get your bat, the ax scares me!