It is proof that it was a lovely weekend when you step in cat puke barefooted and don't seem to mind that much; when your stomach is really unhappy and it doesn't matter. A little 409 on the bottom of said foot, doing nothing all day to humor your stomach...and everything is perfect.

I am tempted to do a marathon post here about everything that's been happening in my life for the past few months. I promise it's been more than just knitting and paper craft. I do admit though, ripping up paper and playing with rubber cement has been helping distract me from stress. I'll write more about the stress soon.

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My grandma has Alzheimer's and it has slowly been getting worse. Yesterday was the first time I really saw her so confused - she was mistaking people for her mother (loml being one of them). She also can't seem to find words for the things she fears she has lost (which she hasn't). We're fairly sure she was trying to find a "lost" key that she was holding. She described it thus:

• the black thing
• the thing that you put in the city
• the part
• the part that looks like a clock
• (pointing to a plate with american flags on it) like this

My Dad and his siblings mostly remember a fairly stern, mean Mom. She believed in whacking children with brushes and as recently as a few years ago did not hesitate to call her son an asshole. But I remember a really involved grandma that would have us over for sleepovers and let us go through her large collections of junk and take stuff. Who painted and would help us paint pictures. Who had big dogs and was kind of awesome to us.

She is a completely different person now. And it's sad and weird to know that the grandma I knew...even though she's alive and well, is no longer with us.