Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Katie uses technology for evil....

So, before I get into my planned subject matter, let me just complain. I wore heely boots today where I usually wear flats; had to stand a lot when I am usually slothful. On the walk home I literally almost took off my shoes. My feet cramped up in the most painful way. I don't think they are going to be normal tomorrow.

Back to our regularly scheduled subject....

Sometimes I concoct lame experiments. Here's what happens: I have a fleeting thought. I boneheadedly believe that said thought is valid.

That is why I decided it would be intriguing to find out how many messages my answering machine can hold (somewhere between 20 and...infinity. It basically just said FL and then wouldn't give me my messages).

The following experiments are still underway:
  1. The one where I think my coworkers are nicer to me when I'm either
    • Wearing my hair pulled back
    • Wearing form fitting clothes
  2. The one where I use technology for evil (see below).
Ok. Here's the deal. Even though I was drunk at work on Friday, I had a full candy bowl. I got to work on Monday and there were like 5 pieces of candy in that bowl. Who is eating my candy? My desk came with a webcam. I hooked that bad boy up, pointed it at my candy bowl and set it to motion sensitive. Here are my conclusions thus far:

When I am away from my cube, people are more likely to:
  • Root around in the bowl and touch every piece of candy
  • Visit the candy bowl in general
Honestly, you'd be shocked by the time these people take to look around in the bowl. A bowl that can hold maybe 25 pieces of candy total. Touching every piece of candy. One of my coworkers ONLY visits the bowl when I'm not there. I am now convinced that she only eats my candy and canned shellfish (have you ever smelled oysters being microwaved? No? Well, consider yourself one lucky bastard). And I caught the cleaning lady eating my candy.

When I am at the desk, people do a hit and run. Grab the candy on the top and run. RUN! Katie hasn't seen you yet! Or else they feel the need to chat, pretend they like me, chat.

Candy bowl etiquette seems to be lacking...


  1. Holy shit! This post made me LAUGH OUT LOUD. A lot. You are hilarious. Also, a genius.

    If I worked in your office, I would be SO embarrassed right now. The cleaning lady!

  2. how have you said nothing about dumbledore? just no thoughts or just plain don't care? just wonderin...

    roomie #1

    by the way, everyone loves candy, and I'm sure their thinking is that you wouldn't put it there if you didn't want them to eat it, otherwise you'd keep it in a drawer or something...that's what I'd be thinking anyway, but then again I really love candy and people that give it to me! :-)

  3. i am SO glad i don't creep around your desk. wow. i too laughed out loud.

    other errata:
    - you have the foot burn! i feel you. i had to alter my clothing plans three days last week because of an unfortunate over-do on the heels. and, btw, i noticed the boots, the effect was very good if that makes you feel any better. very professional and cool.
    - um, as for your experiment: do you really need a hypothesis on form fitting clothes?! what is the null hypothesis there? i guess they might get nervous and thus be less nice. cute smart girls in form fitting clothes are always a hit with nerd boys in my experience.
    - awesome on the cam. you've heard the nail polish story from the front room, haven't you?
    - canned shellfish. ewww. fish sticks are also not improved by a microwave, as i learned to my chagrin bcs a former officemate used to eat them for lunch. blech.

  4. That would be a great video to see people taking the candy. Perhaps you could lase it with laxatives and install a camera in the bathroom as well!: )