Mahalo...

The vacation is over. I am seriously tired (I've been awake for over 24 hours straight now) and getting to that weird jet-laggy no mans land. If this begins to not make sense...oops. I'm having concentration issues. I don't want to go into how great or beautiful Hawaii is (because it is) or how relaxing the vacation was (because it was), but two other things.

First, I noticed on this particular vacation that it was a lot of quiet time. I was never alone but time at the beach, in the car, on boats etc. was mostly spent reading or watching scenery in silence. I'm very often quiet during my "everyday" life, but I'm usually alone. It was pretty nice to be quiet and with people. I got back to my apartment and felt really lonely for the first time in a long time. I mean, the cats are alive, but they're just cats. I don't know, it's probably jet-lag induced, but I really don't like the loneliness.

Second, I noticed that I can be kind of mean-spirited. Sort of a terrible character flaw. Everything and anything I saw provoked barbed thoughts. I voiced maybe two of them, but honestly, it can't be good that I think so negatively. I'm going to have to work on that.

And so I'm back. I'm going to go sit on the couch and stare mindlessly into space. I have to stay up as late as possible to get onto a normal sleep schedule.