Tuesday, June 07, 2005

For lack of anything better to do I'm blogging again. To be honest, my stomach really feels gross and I'm really tired, so I'm not motivated to do much or I could spend my day doing something fun.

I had a really un-settling dream last night and just thinking about it makes me a little upset. The dream itself was actually a really good one, not a nightmare or anything. But it was about one of my oldest guy friends and this actually happens every now and again, I just miss him fiercely. Not like the ache of a lost friend (although I have that for others) but the longing of something great that just got lost. There are a lot of lost guy friends (and girls too) in my past, so some of you are probably thinking of one person and some another, but I think you would all be surprised at who I miss the most. My sister has talked about lost friends often and I pretty much always agree with her. Sure it's not as sharp of a loss as a "lover" but I think it's just as long of a grieving process. And all of my past friends (and of course present) I loved completely. I'm not one to go half assed, which is probably why I have a lot of lost friends (because once it became a half-assed struggle I quit).

Anyway, I don't know why the dream was so hard or why it's stuck. He and I were far too different to stay friends and I don't even know what I'd say if I saw him tomorrow. I'm sure he probably doesn't even wonder about me. I guess I just have a hard time letting go.

1 comment:

  1. I think I know who you are talking about, someone I told you was playing softball this summer, right!? I feel the same way though, about a certain guy, and it sucks becuz we were like brother and sister, and then it was just gone. If there was one person I wish I would be as close as I am to you today, it would be that guy. But at least we got each other right! How corny do I sound!