Tuesday, May 21, 2013

At one point I was pretty starkly honest on this blog, so let me just say that I am a bit of a mess right now. It's kind of weird but for a while there I really felt like I was handling the job change - I wasn't openly anxious about going to work. I was tired but adjusting.

All a hoax. I'm full of anxiousness and covered in the pimples to show it. I'm trying to bring myself  back to earth. I will not fail at this job, I will not fail at this job. Repeat. But I guess my self-esteem about my capability to handle a stressful, huge project is very, very low. And the only thing to fix it is to just do it. Succeed on a project or two for some huge ass company and feel like I'm not a sham. That's the plan. I'm officially on a project (hasn't started yet but SOON). Plan commencing shortly.

In the meantime, let's hope my face, family/friends and loml can survive my weird demeanor and insanity. I'll be back. Just as soon as I feel like I'm not scamming a company out of a huge salary.

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