Only in dreams...

My sleeping patterns have been really strange over the past month. I've found myself waking a lot in the middle of the night. And having issues falling back asleep. I've also been having the most realistic and vivid dreams I've ever had. Two in particular which haunted me the next day.

The first was a few weeks ago and in it I was pregnant. I know most women have pregnant dreams...and I also know there is no way I could be pregnant. But I woke up feeling pregnant. And I continually found myself thinking back to that dream. And while I don't have any idea what it feels like to be pregnant, it sure felt real...that dream was creepy.

And then last night...last night was intense. It was a fight...a fight that exploded into a kiss. The jealousy was uncomfortable, the anger releasing, the hatred righteous and the lust strong. It was quite tasty in general. And all those feelings are still sitting in my belly...it was so realistic that I feel the fall-out the next day.

This is all interesting to me in a dozen ways. And I have theories as to why my sleep patterns have changed...and why I had a baby with no father....and why I had that explosive kiss with a particular person. And for 2008 I want those theories to no longer be possibilities. I want them to be fact. Or complete fiction.

2008 will be the year that doesn't suck ass (courtesy of Al).
Or for me, the year of action over analysis.

And done...

So the holidays are over (or do "the holidays" extend through new years day?). Either way, Eve and Day are over...and now it's time to be totally lazy.

My holidays were lovely. Laid back, hilarious (my extended family in general - here's a direct quote: "he looks like someone has been pinching his penis for two years". That from someone who is a grandma. Also, my family + Rock Band = insanity) and I am always reminded of how amazing and lovable most of my family is. Yes, most. And this holiday, I also was lucky enough to be reminded of how great my friends are (although this weekend and New Years will truly cement that). I hope yours were just as successful.

My day in brief:

• Presents
• Delicious food
• Rock Band
• Games
• Car packing
• Dead wolf
  
• Man on the moon
• City skyline
• Car unpacking
• home

Maybe if you're lucky, you all will benefit from a picture, posted here later, of myself on the Rock Band drum kit. Likely with look of concentration, frustration or mouth hanging open staring at the screen.

Happy holidays...

Santa...you da man...

Last night, the family and I attended Welcome, Yule! You have to say that all excitedly...really pronounce that exclamation mark. Basically it's a Christmas song extravaganza involving a chorus, a children's chorus, dancers, Santa, a dancing Rudolph and, less ostensibly, the Chicago Symphony Orchestra.

I've been meaning to build some Christmas cheer that doesn't involve cookies and was hoping this would be the occasion. Not sure why I thought that since I don't really have any love for Christmas music. I don't listen to it on the radio, I groan when the Mom or sister has it on...I just don't like it. I have a few soft spots. I really like Carol of the Bells. And the Charlie Brown song, Chrismas Time is Here (ok, the whole Charlie Brown Christmas CD). And I frequently get an NSync Christmas song stuck in my head.

Should I be embarrassed for that? Maybe. But the reason I get it stuck has nothing to do with owning an NSync Christmas CD and everything to do with this:

I really should be embarrassed that I just wikipedia'd NSync to figure out where exactly the apostrophe/* is supposed to go (*NSync). Either way, this little ornament plays a Christmas song. I believe the ornament was bought in jest - however, I did like NSync in my youth (or, more truthfully, I always liked Justin Timberlake...or, more truthfully, I always wanted to do Justin Timberlake). And I received an average of 3 ornaments a year for as long as I can remember. So my tree is littered with Pluto, Lion King, cats, dogs, fish...and in my old age, more sparkly, grown up ornaments.

Wow. I absolutely got off subject there. I don't know where I was going with this post. Maybe I have more Christmas cheer? It still doesn't feel like Christmas yet - maybe today when I ribbon up all my packages. Or eat another box of Jingles.

Either way - Happy Holidays all.

A conversation...

Man on the sidewalk: Do you need a strong man?

Me: . . . . . .

Me (interior): Yes, I do. But you, sir, are not that man.

And I mean, clearly he wasn't serious about his offer - he kept right on walking.

Crack o' dawn...

So I'm up at the crack of dawn, to see my friend "maybe I'm jewish" Janet off to her residency interview. I haven't updated this piece o' crap for quite some time. The lull after NaBloPoMo or post-kitchen lackadaisicalness? You be the judge (and yes, I did pull out a big word at 7am. I'll go ahead and pat myself on the back).

Here's what's been happening:

• I did, in fact, step all over the wet varnishy kitchen floor. I was pissed and horribly, rottenly entitled. On the first two steps my shoe stuck and the third step I slid in a pool of varnish...and then I panicked, grabbed a fork and back tracked. I didn't ruin the floor all that badly. The one spot that is noticeable is actually a sock mark at the very edge - from where I had to lean to use the microwave.
  
• I finished some baby socks and gave them away (pictures at the end of the post). I was also commanded to start making those socks for my friend's unborn babies. That she isn't going to start having until she is 30. Which is 5 years away. What she doesn't realize is that those tiny little socks are a pain in the ass to make and she'll be lucky if she gets one pair.
• Lot of emailing to Canada. Then a phone call to the burbs. Welcome back to Chicagoland Al.
• Christmas shopping and the like...
• Figuring out what my chances are to hit it on New Years (I'm going to go with...7 to 1. And by hit it, I mean something tame like...make out). Apparently I'm going to be forced into a shopping trip with "baby sock commander" friend where I will be forced to try on humiliating hootchie shirts so that I can show off the ample cleavage. But like "maybe I'm jewish" friend states: they're there - it's not like anyone is going to miss them. Why sluttify myself? Let's struggle with that one shall we? Because apparently I would have a better chance with men if I wore tighter clothes (courtesy of "baby sock commander" and husband). But what they don't understand is - I don't want to be that girl. If you only like me because my shirt is tight and my boobs are large then fuck off.
  

See? Boring. What does it matter if I post if when I do there's not much to say....

You have got to be kidding...

It is with shock and amazement that I write this post. Not whining. It is just...incredible.

Last night I ate dinner away from home (no kitchen). We specifically ordered in enough food that I would have leftovers that I could put in the microwave (in my living room) and eat tonight. If for some reason there was an issue (like..oh, I don't know...I forgot to borrow a microwave safe plate? Which I did, in fact, forget), my back up plan was to eat some salad out of a pot. I had access to pots, silverware and my microwave.

But right now? I have access to none of the above. Just my fridge. My kitchen is back together. The pots, microwave, drawers - all back in/on the cabinets. And it looks like right after they put it back together? They varnished the floors again.

I honestly cannot make this stuff up. I have food, but nothing to heat it on, no microwave to heat it and no utensils to eat it with.

If I was a less lazy person I'd go get food. But I think I may just step on that floor.

The temperature is dropping and it feels like...

I walked home from the gym with stars in my eyes because the snow was so delightful. Falling silently, thickly...and at one point, even getting so deep as to crunch under foot. I was super content.

Then I got home and ate cookies for dinner.

Because this is the kitchen:


It's an empty shell. It has a beautiful new floor (I mean, I love that floor. Almost as much as I love a rounded doorway. Apparently I have a passion for parquet). A beautiful new floor that will likely be ruined because they never found the source of the water. Anyway, a whole cabinet is missing, the stove, the fridge, the sink. All gone. Only one of the items was relocated to the foyer:

You should all enlarge that picture and look at the items on my fridge. Particularly the hot shot of Justin Timberlake. The contents of the other cabinets? On the table and on the floor behind that picture. It's a disaster here. If I have all my glasses, silverware, plates after this whole thing I'll be shocked. Because the dishwasher disappeared while it still had a clean load of dishes in it. So, I have access to my fridge. But...no plates. The plates are still in the wall cabinets. And I have no access to my pantry. I'm food less.

It's interesting living here. In a mostly negative way. I want out.

Anyway, I still sort of have snowflakes on the mind and my good mood...not really ruined which is super surprising.

The presence and absence of...

Quite a while ago, I had a very interesting conversation with a friend about hope. She wasn't in the best place or mood...and she was wondering if hope was a good idea at all. Because in her mindset - doesn't hope just lead to disappointment? If you hope and hope for something, and then you don't get it...well, isn't that worse than never hoping at all?

My response was that her approach required the death of hope - only when you give up hope will you see the disappointment (in other words, you won't notice that you haven't gotten what you want until you stop hoping for that thing).

I've been thinking about it more...and I think my hope is a general kind of hope - which makes it possible to imagine that my hope will never die. I don't hope for a certain boyfriend or even really a boyfriend or for a moment where birds sing, the sun beams down, eyes meet, he twirls me around. That's silly. I hope in more general terms. I hope to meet people, to find love, to love myself. And, if the love thing never happens for me, to be happy single. My hope isn't mutually exclusive.

I was thinking about hope yesterday because I did a silly and hopeful thing: I clipped a coupon for something no single girl would need. In the hopes that I might need it before it expires....

Last dance...

I've made it through NaBloPoMo. And truly, the shit only hit the fan towards the end. I nearly managed to squeak out a full month of non-whining. I vow to keep up the upbeat nature....starting tomorrow. But first I just need to throw it out there that my cable isn't working (no channels. Not even your basic shit). I therefore may need some entertaining this weekend. Anyone want to volunteer? Or, maybe I should throw out there....anyone new and exciting want to volunteer? The cable breaks every year because they have some seriously janky wiring outside (are you surprised?). I'll probably end up breaking my tightly crafted budget to fix it (there's supposedly some work in my area. I'm doubtful).

Other than that I am "chipper" today. I turned off the bad attitude and feel much better. Spinning forward if you will....

So are you all going to miss me when I go back to posting irregularly? No? Didn't think so.

I just want you to know that if I had any photographic skill at all, I'd be posting everyday in December. Maybe the sister can convince her superbly gifted bf to take pictures of advent legoland everyday...

Forward spin...

I'm having a rough time being positive today. I fall into this horrible trap of self-pity and then suddenly I've convinced myself that my life is a bleak tundra of nothingness. I woke up cranky, I got to work and had a long email chain of frustration with someone who just was not listening to me and I just couldn't stop the spiral. I started off the morning with the knowledge that my apartment was a curse and my paper cut was making life difficult and ended it with the thought that I had nobody.

It's all silly and I know it's silly, but damned if I don't get bogged down in it. It's sort of like hypochondria of life - I'm grumpy and unhappy today, so it clearly follows that my life must be shit. Stupid.

I decided today that my mood is all about spin. How can you spin that thing that just happened? Was it funny? An insult to you? Just something that happened? Proof that people suck? Or just a part of humanity that you should be patient with? And today I clearly lacked the ability to spin anyway but backwards. My email chain was not only a personal insult but also proof that people are stupid. Most days it would have just been another bump in my day and silly how easily we all misunderstand each other...

So that's where I am today. Spinning backwards. Tomorrow I have fingers crossed for either stand still or spinning forwards....

In which I break my own contract...

I said that I wasn't going to complain over the course of NaBloPoMo. And I think I've managed it so far. But I am having some seriously bad luck with my apartment and it's really hard not to bitch about it. Especially right now. I just got home to the smelliest apartment in the world. It smells like a dirty fish tank and death all rolled in a smelly foot. It's so strong its palpable. And that smell? Wafting up from the bare, soggy floor - which after they pulled up the parquet looks like a dirty, muddy collage of old, rotty tile (and a layer of oilcloth - which is some old shit). I can't believe my apartment didn't smell throughout this whole mess. I wish you could take a picture of smell. It is SO BAD I sort of feel like vomiting. My sense of smell has been causing me much pain lately.

Tomorrow or next week (those maintenance men are slippery, I have no idea when this is going on) they are pulling my whole kitchen out. Stove, sink, fridge, everything. I don't even want to imagine what they are going to find. And I don't want to imagine where they are going to put the stuff, this is not a large apartment. I might just start crying out of frustration and anxiety.

I told my sister that this has been the year of justifying my fears. I have never stepped on grates/manholes. Justified this year (not my story to tell, but just take my word for it). I don't like deep water (I don't much like water of any kind, except for of the shower variety)....and now water is proving to be the curse of this apartment. Water that ruins the walls. That overflows from my upstairs neighbors bathtub. That is leaking from parts unknown to cause bubbling tiles, fish tank smell, my cat to act like she's high (she's eating an ornament cord like it's some kind of delicacy) and this...

this disaster...if the smell didn't make me want to yuker all over the place, I'd pick up those pieces of cardboard to show you what lies beneath.


Not sure how I'm going to manage to eat meals here for the next few days. For tonight, I'm getting out of here...

Continuing on...

A friend, Al, asked me how I am qualifying those friendships as unsuccessful. Do friendships that are successful have to last forever? And aren't I always the proponent of letting friendships go? (it is my firm belief that if you question the utility of a friendship, it's probably time to let it go)

This is an excellent question that I have no answer for. Those friendships were proof (to me) that men and women can't JUST be friends. Sure, they can be friends. But I think there's always some sort of frisson of sexual tension/romantic feelings on one end or the other (or both).

A friendship certainly doesn't have to last forever. But I think the end of a friendship sort of shows whether or not that friendship did have staying power (a big blow up fight? A gradual fade out? A proclamation that just being friends isn't enough?).

And in the end, most importantly, they weren't successful in that we didn't fight for them. Maybe because someone couldn't deal anymore. Or because the gleam of lust/love had faded. But either way, one or the both of us let it die - either fade or drop off the face of the earth.

I feel like I need to put it out there that I think those friendships were successful to a point (and some far more than others). They just, weren't successfully platonic. And they weren't successfully continued....

Long and winding post...

So here's the substantive post that I was planning for Friday. I'm not sure where to start, so let's just all accept that this is going to involve rambling and then I won't have to worry about it and I can move on. On Friday (or at some point last weekend) I was supposed to get together with an old friend. It fell through - probably due to equal amounts of busy-ness and reluctance. The planned get-together got me thinking though - about the nature of friendship between female & male.

I believe, in the past if you would have asked me, I would have firmly stood on the side of "men and women can just be friends! I've done it before!". I was silly. And wrong. I doubt the ability to have an entirely platonic relationship between a straight woman and a straight man. I concede that I've had friends, more like acquaintances who were entirely platonic. But here, here I'm talking good friends. Let's stroll down memory lane (I realized earlier, that all of my closest guy friends have had first initials that start with J or R. That's weird yes? Going for last initials here):

C was my bff for a very, very long time. Middle school through parts of high school and stretching a tiny bit into college. We were on again/off again best friends. I still miss him occasionally and dream about him often. In fact, I dreamt of him last night - I greeted him by fluffing his hair and just felt love. Our friendship started with him asking me out. I think I still have the note somewhere - it was the sweetest note ever. I said no. We went on to be friends. We had mutual attraction pretty much throughout our friendship and almost made out more than once. I used to make him hold my hand walking places. I miss C, but there was nothing platonic about that friendship. Not at any point.

Then there was B. Please don't find me conceited...but B desperately loved me. And I loved B, I just wasn't in love with B. Oh god how I tried - I wanted to be in love with him. He was perfect for me. But when you don't want to make out with someone? That's a problem. B and I were inseparable for a long time - probably an entire summer if not more than that. We kept in touch for a while and then it fell off again. We tried to get together and be friends a few years back - but something was lost. I think we'd both changed too much - and our friendship dynamic was impossible to recreate (why would he want to? I mean, unrequited love can't be fun). B once told me that if he had to, he would wait for me forever. Clearly he didn't. I totally have the IM transcript somewhere (yes, that was an IM conversation) and I promise to find it and embarrass self in the future with that conversation.

N was probably one of the friendships where I personally still think it's up in the air whether there was something non-platonic. I think everyone who knew us might sputter and say, um, hello, yes he loved you. But out of all of them, this one was the most platonic. N drove me crazy in a lot of ways - and ultimately our friendship ended after I was forced to spend all day every day with him for over a week. But we had fun and we spent a lot of time just talking. I was friends with N when I was really getting to know myself and I would be different if not for that friendship. He was the one I was supposed to see on Friday. I hope to stay friendly with him for a long time.

And finally W. W wasn't a normal best friend - we were mostly friends due to school and due to our mutual friendship with C. But in the end, that was enough to be close to him. And out of all of them, W was the one that I loved unrequitedly. All of my memories of him are just of us laughing our asses off. We spent a lot of study groups frustrating others with our uselessness and I almost got kicked out of my AP Calculus test because of him (he traced his hand on his test. I laughed out loud. I was chastised and told to look at my own test/be quiet or both of us would get the boot. Just FYI - he did better on that test than I did). I think way back when, I never would have considered him a best friend. But in retrospect, he was. I'd love to see that kid again. And pine for him from afar.

For some reason, I thought all of those friendships were successful. And they were in their own way - I mean, these are people I loved/think of fondly. But it's impossible to keep that kind of thing going - because someone is always suffering in silence and hoping for more. And I think there is a breaking point. Or just a fading point...

After much thought, out of all of my besties, none of us has done it successfully. Not a one.

Love actually is all around...

It's been the loveliest of weekends. Symphony on Friday, friends yesterday, christmas tree today. Chocolate pie, turkey, stuffing, deep dish pizza. It's just been entirely satisfying and delightful. I don't really want it to end.

My apartment feels cleaner. There is a slight (and when I say slight, I am absolutely lying. I mean HUGE) issue in the kitchen involving water leaking from somewhere unknown causing all the parquet tiles to buckle and water to bubble out between the cracks. I believe this is going to result in my landlord pulling out my entire kitchen. Probably next week, possibly Monday. I'm trying not to think about the many disasters that are sure to come. Impending doom.

Let's think about the tree instead, shall we?

And she twinkles...

My post title has nothing to do with this post. But my tree is standing, just needs to be fluffed, decorated and plugged in. All on hold until tomorrow.

Last night I went to the symphony - we saw John Williams conducting some of his movie music (and the theme for the NBC nightly news). I love the symphony. When I have a bit more money, I'll seriously consider trying out one of their varied season ticket offerings. I just love the sound of it all blended together. And there is something chill-inducing about hearing the Star Wars theme live. That is music I grew up to and heard repeatedly. Star Wars was one of our favorite childhood games (I was Bacca to my cousin Bee's Chew. Neither of us wanted to be R2D2 or C3PO, so we shared Chewbacca). My cousin pretending to be Luke with his hand cut off/getting it stuck in his shirt is probably one of my favorite (and only) childhood memories.

I enjoyed all of it. Superman, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Memoirs of a Geisha. It was all good.

I'll be going to the symphony again in a few weeks (Welcome Yule!) and I hope to visit the CSO at least once a year in the future...

Drunk dial the second...

I had a real post planned (may be put off until Sunday). Then I looked at my cell phone and saw I had missed a call from my cousin, Bee, at 2am this morning. Luckily, I had a voice mail. A hilarious voice mail. If only I could post the audio here.

My cousins, the whole lot of them (well, the one family that we're really close to), are notorious drunk dialers. I've had more drunk voice mails from Bee than anyone. This morning, she called to say happy thanksgiving, that she loved me, that she's sorry we didn't see each other. Then she went into this whole thing about how one of her friends, who I know fairly well, wants to marry me. And how she had told him (oh giggling just thinking about it) how pretty I was in "makeup and jewels". Then she put him on the phone and he made less sense than she. Then my uncle got on the phone and I heard how much he loved me. Then cousin is back and she says "____ just said he's going to marry Katie lastname". And hung up.

Ah, Happy Thanksgiving to me. What more could I want from my favorite cousin/family than a drunk voice mail?

Happy Thanksgiving...

Ah the day of turkey and being thankful. I'm going to go ahead and tell you some of the things I'm grateful for. But before I do that, I think you should all know that this is my 700th post. I have written 700 blurbs of inanity for this blog. Some of you have read all of those. So I'll go ahead and start with that...this year I'm thankful for:

• You readers
• Friends and family...loved ones in general
• Having shelter, food, warmth
• My job
• Chicago
  
• New beginnings/hope

There's my short list...I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I'm hoping for relaxing and tasty....

And in this moment I am happy...

Pretty sure I've used that post title before. On this Wednesday before Thanksgiving, I'd like to take a moment and jump up and down for joy - this is the two year anniversary of my last day of work at soul sucking insurance job. It seems like it all happened so long ago. But it's only been two short years. I am so glad (and thankful) that I had the resources and support to quit that job.

Most of the ways in which I'm different have been slow in coming. And I think it's mostly been a progression that no one much notices. I am happier. I am far more easy-going. I am more stable. I am better off.

In the end, I guess I have to be glad I went through that whole thing. It made me understand what it feels like to be stifled. And I don't want that feeling again.

My apartment has been...plagued with problems. All of them water related (me and water? enemies.). I have a very real fear of mold and I need to get out of this place soonish. But I love this apartment, it is home. And I refuse to move to another place in between. Which is why I lust for a condo so badly...but I can't afford it. And the sister said, well, someday you'll land a job that will pay the big bucks. And my fear is...that job, that job that pays me a lot of money? Will that job stifle?

Ooops...

I accidentally just ordered a hell of a lot of expensive food for dinner. Why? I don't know - because I couldn't stop thinking about olives at the gym. Then I got home and looked in my little CEO Deliveries thing to see what they offered and Ba Ba Reeba sucked me in. I have a massive amount of garlic potato salad on its way to this apartment. And no olives (wtf?). I cannot wait...oh garlic potato salad.....

My Christmas tree is taunting me in my foyer, all smoky (you suck little brother) and wanting to be put up. Here is my ode to Christmas tree's past:

College, 402 E. Stoughton. Our house was junky. Our tree was seriously trashy (white strands of light? That's classy), real tree, sporting tinsel and foam decorations:

First year in the apartment, no cats, real tree, tinsel (I loved that crazy long branchy arm):



Second year, cats (which means no tinsel). Cat can be seen under the tree:



Last year, aw...sad, fake tree (it just got a a bit taxing to get that real tree out the back door):

Per the green book, real trees are better. Not plastic (bad stuff to make) and they're renewable.

Music is my boyfriend...

How catchy is that little ditty?

I wrote about 10 different blog entries on the walk home from the gym (8 of them skewing dirty). I'm going to run with one of the ideas, but first here are two things that I found weird today:

• Girl next to me in the gym, reading the glossary of a book. I imagine this is her finals' studying technique? But...I think it's pretty bad, because what good is a definition without context?
• I wrote this TERRIBLE paper for my capstone class. I mean, it was regrettable. The only good thing about it was my research, which was seriously good. I got a really good grade and my theory that the quality of education at my school is bad? Justified.
  

On the walk home I was trying to figure out what I was going to do tonight, my first night of freedom in a few months. My train of thought follows:

• I think I'll do a little jig.
• Aw, remember when I used to dance around my room to my theme song senior year of college and Janet would laugh at me?
• I need a dance-y theme song again.
• (here's where I tumble into the gutter of my mind) Well, shit, if I ever get laid again, my theme song should be "Do It" by Nelly Furtado.
• Good plan. But maybe I should only make that my theme song if I'm consistently hitting it.
  

So there you have it readers, this is the usual for me. As for theme songs (if you're wondering, what kind of freak has a theme song?), what I mean is...any song that you seem to be playing repeatedly at a certain time of your life. Right now I have two that I can think of. One that I am going to hold close to my chest - not for embarrassment but for...privacy? The other is Possibly Maybe by Bjork (but only if the lyric is "possibly NO").

Update...

Two updates to previous NaBloPoMo posts:

My drunk dialing friend not only drunk dialed me twice within a few minutes, but also another friend. Other friend even said that her drunk dials ended up as two nearly identical voice mails. So, the drunk dialer apparently lost all ability to remember what she had said/dialed just minutes previously. Sort of hilarious. And also a possible explanation for why she didn't call me yesterday (did she not remember or is it embarrassment?).

Someone asked me to explain the context of "brazen hussy." I was talking with a friend about how I wished she had been at my birthday celebration. Accidentally seeing Go-Go boys in a gay bar was eye-opening (in more ways than one). Learned a lot about people I've known forever. I described myself as the "brazen hussy" of the group (although after some thought, I think we have a pretty even split of brazen hussies and prudes). Anyway, I wish everyone (maybe every woman...) I know had been there so that I could learn where they fall on the brazen hussy/prude spectrum.

The drunk dial...

Ah the drunk dial. I think I may have gotten to a point where I'm just too old and too bad at sleeping to receive the drunk dial (it may have helped if I didn't have the 8am deck builders breathing down my neck). Although my drunk dial experience last night didn't make me angry - I giggled about it. Here's what happened..

Friend called when I was deeply asleep (I woke up wondering what was wrong). She asked me if I was asleep. I said yes. She said, OK, I love you and then said "_____ hates me". I said, "huh?" (sleepy non-comprehension). She said she'd call me tomorrow and then we said bye. 10 minutes later she called again. Asked me if I was asleep. My response was "ye-he-he-he-hesssss" (I think I sounded like a whiny grade schooler). Then she said, OK, I'll call you tomorrow.

Love her to death, but...I'm an old lady. It takes me a long time to fall asleep. I had people who were going to wake me up at 8am shouting and sawing wood. I'm no fun anymore.

I tried to remember if I had ever been a drunk dialer. I think I did a fair share my sophomore year of college and then it tapered off. And most of my drunk dialing was just long, rambling voice mail messages...I wish we still had copies of those...

Balls...

Once again I'm lacking in ideas for this post. But I will soldier on and again, give you two little bulletins.

• Tonight, rather than deal with responsibility or see the friends, I'm going to watch a movie and most likely cry.
  
• Here is a picture where I not only look crazy but a bit like a vampire. Maybe I need to rein in that laugh:
  

Post title eludes...

I've got nothing for you guys today. Here are my two sad attempts at a post:

I smell funny today - sort of like a pine tree that fell into a vat of laundry detergent. It is actually quite pleasant. I should let all my clothes rot in the back of my closet since that is where this shirt came from (I'm going to have gone approximately 26 days without doing laundry - everything is going to be pulled out of the closet, next week there might be some gems. The craziest thing about this is that my underwear supply is not even getting low yet and I'm on day 19 already. I have too much underwear).

It's not often that you get to use the phrase "brazen hussy" in a real conversation and it's even more delicious when you're talking about yourself.

Judgment, the finale...

And in the end, we agreed to disagree.

The thing about that judgment conversation is that it can go on and on and on. Friend and I could talk about it forever and the sister and I ended up at an impasse. Because the sister and I? Polar opposites.

Where I am soft, she is hard and where she is soft I have thorns. It's shocking that we can get along at all. I do believe she would hate me if she wasn't forced to look for my nicest qualities.

Um.

So the judgment thing totally stormed up the sister. I should wait and respond tomorrow but I feel a little stormed up myself.

I understand that in "real life" I'm always going to be judged on what I'm wearing and how I smell and the last thing that came out of my mouth and of course, this post. Human nature categorizes, true. I understand that I'm going to be judged. Fully. Completely. Life without judgment would be chaos, yes?

What that post was about - about recognizing all the times I was going to be judged and I was going to be judging. And I decided it was uncomfortable, I was uncomfortable with what was happening and was uncomfortable with how a friend was thinking she was going to be judged. Not because of what the outcome would be, but because it's always disconcerting to be on the chopping block (or to think you will be). And because it's hard to see bits and pieces judged (one thing you thought?) and not want to defend yourself and defend the whole.

Obviously there's good judgments, the judgment of someone who decides to know and love you in the right kind of ways. And of course that judgment is lovely - once all the "initial getting to know you" judging is over, the result was happyland, the result was love. But I think we can all agree that getting to the point of comfort with someone, getting to the love - well that can be spectacularly uncomfortable, because you have to jump those judgy hurdles.

And anyway, judging can also suck ass, I mean, I'm not going to go into specifics here, but come on! We've all had the experience of someone who we love/loves us be totally judgmental and awful. And that's no good. And I don't want to be OK with that. That's complacency.

Not feeling so wonderfully competent with the words tonight - this is a real life conversation to be had, not a blog post.

Possibly maybe...probably no...

It irks me that that is not the real lyric. I like mine better...probably love?, suck it Bjork!

So I've noticed that in these past few days, at least once a day something comes up about judgment. Being judgmental, not being judged (as in: please don't judge me for what I'm about to say), judgy, judgy, judgy.

I have a friend who is obsessed with judgment and a loved one who is overly judgmental (loved one's own words, not my own). And so I got to thinking...if I don't want to be judged by the way I look or the content of this site or my first impression or my inability to speak or some poor decisions I've made or will make...what in hell do I expect people to judge me by?

I ended up with 'i don't want to be judged'.

Hat head...

I have a thing about my head.

I like to have it covered. I like a winter hat and on many days you will come into my office and find me in my cube with my winter hat on with huge, archaic headphones over said hat. I like to have my hood up (and, this is going to sound strange, I find that when I'm doing schoolwork or thinking hard I tend to cinch my hood and tie it). I like to put my comforter over my head to sleep (with my face sticking out).

I wonder what the psychology behind all this is? Mimicking the womb or something? I feel safer when the back of my head is unseen (since you know, when I sleep there are all those prying eyes of...my cats)?

Just so you know - hair looks better after having been flattened by a hat. And you should all buy me trendy hats for Christmas so that I have no choice but to wear them.

Widget...

launched. You can now see what I'm listening to or did listen to.

I don't know why, but I always end up posting repeatedly on some days during this NaBloPoMo thing. It's like I can't get enough...

I feel I should explain my joining last.fm. The truth is, it wasn't peer pressure or technological curiosity...it was total and complete laziness. Because as I sit downstairs at my kitchen table, my computer upstairs is playing music. And since I've been trying out loads of new music, I found myself not knowing what was playing half of the time. So, I needed some solution: I wanted my laptop to show me what my desktop was playing without all the bother of remote desktop. And bingo - last.fm did it!

Still looking for new music (even with my loads and loads of new stuff courtesy of the sis) so any recommendations will be considered

What I didn't do this weekend...

I didn't watch any TV.

Some of you may shrug - but for me, who loves to have the TV on at all times (adds a certain background charm) this is huge. I think I will have successfully not watched TV for 48 hours. And by not watched I mean, hasn't even been turned on.

I have been sitting in front of my computer though. And struggling over how to stay engaged with a project while I am completely and totally bored.

I don't think the boredom has to do with the lack of TV...more to do with the lack of anything interesting at all. I spent hours wasting time (and intermittently writing a paper) on the internet with fun new things (new to me at least - I've moved from bloglines to google reader and so have a new blogroll up and I jumped on to the last.fm bandwagon so you should see a widget appearing in my sidebar any day now). I also spent hours on etsy which is sucking my will to not spend money. Budget be damned! I need that [button, print, scarf, ornament, card, stationery]. I haven't bought anything, although my wish list is increasing exponentially.

Gotta go do something involving schoolwork. Project due on Thursday and another on Sunday and then I imagine I won't talk about school much anymore at all.

My weekend begins...

Sadly for me, this weekend is going to be no fun at all. It is all my own fault and I accept that. I procrastinated so much on some projects that I have to write an 8-10 page paper, finish a homework assignment and at least start/get halfway through a serious data analysis project this weekend.

My current goal is to sit and finish those 8-10 pages today so that I can edit them tomorrow. I think I can do it. If I write at least a page an hour it'll be no problem at all. I'm about to clean off my kitchen table and create an actual work zone in the kitchen. Turn on some music, try to ignore the hammering of the deck builders and the pull of the couch.

I will be scholarly today.

Because I like you...

Last weekend it became evident that the women I know are all hyper-critical of themselves. We all love each other and think the other is beautiful. But when we see ourselves in a picture, it's all "wow my nose looks big" or "Look at my back fat" or "I always get that double chin". So today I'd like to challenge the women I know to find 9 things they like about themselves physically. I've already done the personality thing (see birthday post), but I think that it doesn't hurt to do that as well.

Here are my 9:

1. I like my lips.
   
2. And following that, I like my smile.
3. I like my back dimples.
4. And right underneath that, I like my ass.
5. I like my chest.
6. I like my eyes.
   
7. I like my hands & fingers.
8. I love my haircut.
   
9. I really like being short.

Ok. I had a hard time there deciding if I should give more detail on each list item. I thought maybe that was a bit too much.

For my birthday, I got the green book. So every now and again I'm going to squeeze a tip into my post. Here's your beauty tip for the day:

Use bar soap instead of liquid wash. Liquid lasts longer, but it is more expensive per use when you calculate it out. If every US Household replaced a bottle of body wash with a bar of soap, roughly 2.5 million pounds of plastic containers could be diverted from the waste stream.

I'm really not a delicious girl...

*title taken from an IM conversation earlier, suggested as a blog title by chat companion, CG. Parts of this blog post were suggested by CG. So thanks CG for squeezing a post out of me*

I've decided to try twitter. I've heard a lot about it on other blogs, from coworkers, everywhere. So I decided to play with it (you can see my status updates right over there <--). One of the things I liked about facebook was the status updates - I like to see what people are doing/thinking. So this is sort of an extension of that. I need some of ya'll to try out twitter so that I can have twitter friends (and at least see how that works).

Today something weird happened to me at Dominicks. On the way in, someone got in my little quarter of the revolving door with me. A stranger. It was highly uncomfortable and weird. Is standing alone in your quarter of the revolving door a cultural thing? Because he was speaking a foreign language. To his friend who was in the quarter behind us. Why didn't they share?

*does it make more sense to you if you read it: i'm really not a del.icio.us girl

Lazy contentedness...

Currently sitting on the couch, with a warmer in my lap (Mona) and some Top Model on TV. I had a really great day and evening. I have a few ideas of what to blog about in the coming days (so many left), so tonight I'll go ahead and tell you about my dinner.

I tried Vietnamese food tonight. I tried a few dishes, but really only liked my meal (claypot chicken). I proved to myself that I don't really like beef (yuck, texture) and that I am very unsure about duck (but really, really didn't like the duck dish). However...oh man the fried rice was SO GOOD. I already have plans to order out. Yum.

The dinner was with family members (sister, cousin). I think it's always interesting when people think it's uncool to hang out with your family members. As if family members can't be friends. Or why would someone ever want to hang out with their Mom? Well, I'm here to remind you that your family members are people and that they can be kick ass people who you want to be friends with.

What a boring, useless post. I wonder if this will continue through the rest of the month...

I huffed and I puffed...

And I got my fitness assessed.

It was actually thoroughly interesting and worth the 30 something dollars I paid to be told I'm fat. She didn't actually say that. But she did comment on my percentage body fat. I got on this weird machine (a body composition analyzer) and it basically spit out all this information. That machine thinks my body fat percentage is in the desirable range (I guess the machines like me better than the real people). So, here I am broken down by the Tanita TBF-410:

BMI: 25.2

This is slightly funny to me because from 19-25 is normal, but 25 and up is "overweight". How on edge am I there?

BMR: 1378 calories.

I'm still not 100% sure what this means. But I think that's how many calories I should take in each day to break even. So if I wanted to lose weight, I'd eat less than that and move more.

Impedance: 561 Ω

This means nothing to me.

Fat%: 28.8%

My fitness assessor says to be "fit" I probably want to get to the 20-25% range, that those numbers are more acceptable. I'm not dying or anything. But that percentage could go down and I'd be better off.

Fat Mass: 37.2 lbs.

Yes, that is the amount of fat dragging me down. I'll go ahead and take off a few pounds for my boobs which I can't seem to do anything about...

So. There you go. I also found out that I am much less flexible than I should be and that I cannot do any push-ups AT ALL (ok, I did 5. Then my arms shook and my body screamed a high pitch pain scream, so I stopped). I also learned that the treadmill is my enemy and that I HATE running. However, it turns out that the treadmill and I are better than I thought, because my "vo2max" is actually slightly above average (vo2max is just an indicator of cardiorespiratory endurance). At least one of you is shocked by this and so am I. I guess walking all over the place and sporadically using the elliptical paid off.

Anyway, I now have a weight routine and some advice on what I should do. I'm probably not going to start really trying to get into it until after the quarter is over (I'm deeply behind on my projects and am probably going to do some dishes and procrastinate tonight). So here's what I've been told to do:

• Cardio 4 times a week, for at least 30 minutes
• Serious weight routine 2 times a week.

These two can overlap. I'll keep you all updated on my fit adventure. Maybe a few months into the routine I can meet with the trainer again and get assessed again.

Gimme, gimme more...

So what happened Saturday night? What happened indeed....I think the quote of the night that sums it all up for me is:

Where is his penis at?

Yeah. Here we go...

My request for the birthday night out was to go to dinner somewhere and then dancing. From my few trips up to Andersonville, I knew there was a bar that had booming dance music on Clark. We went there first and it was more like a normal bar with booming dance music. No actual dancing was taking place. However, the atmosphere was pretty good and we stayed for a few drinks.

Then we decided to try out some other options, see if we could find dancing. I just wanted to dance with my girls. We ended up across the street at a different bar. When we walked in someone was singing and I thought it was karaoke. It wasn't. It was some kind of...revue. Dancing and singing people. They were highly entertaining and we enjoyed it immensely. One of us even found her dream career (revue background dancer). I'm intentionally avoiding naming names here because I think my other two companions are a little more embarrassed with the turn the night took than I am. After the revue, go-go boys. What's a go-go boy? A nice word for a stripper that doesn't take off his underwear (mostly, I saw some ass and so did you if you clicked on that picture in the last post).

It was...hilarious. And creepy (we were in a gay bar, so there were some very creepy moments involving old men and go-go boys). And HILARIOUS. I giggle just thinking about it. The two friends I was with...I've known them forever. And seeing us all react to the situation and take it in...it was eye-opening. I tend to forget how open and unembarrassed I am about that kind of stuff. I guess I should feel like there's a taboo about talking about sex, penes, lust, boobs, etc....but I just don't. Especially not with these two girls.

And the question of "what makes a man be a go-go boy?". Well my answer to that was...it's his choice. It's his choice to let those creepy old guys fondle him (tmi?), it's his choice to parade around in his tighty...grayies? Who am I to judge him or wonder if the money is worth it? That's not my place.

I am leaving out a whole insane part of this story. Tighty gray pants boy? Went to our high school.

When I was in high school I think we had a graduating class of less than 200? I have no idea...but I think our school in total was less than 1000 people. And out of those 1000, one of them happens to be dancing in his skivies in the bar we randomly ended up in? Crazy small world...

You know what that means...

Justin Timberlake. Febrezed hair. It's like senior year of college all over again. Drunk Katie is somehow the most drunk when she gets back to her house, alone, and therefore sits and drools over Justin. All of this after she has Febrezed. Because smoky hair smells like ass. Must admit though, it's MUCH harder to Febreze short hair - my new hair cut isn't handling the night out all that well.

Tonight was...wow. Happy birthday to me. Technically this post could be my November 4 post. But I refuse to cheat. Although depending on the level of hangover tomorrow....we'll see.

Check in some time tomorrow (no promises, but probably) for a post about me , Al and Katy's night out in Andersonville. You will NOT be disappointed.

Two extras for you:

1. Cry Me a River Justin is done. Lovestoned Justin...IN. If he releases a new live concert DVD in the next 2 months, that bastard better be in my stocking.
   
2. This picture...this says it all (you should pay close attention to ALL details):
   

I am drunk. How should I amuse myself for the next hour or so?

Day 3...

Amazingly, I feel like I'm already running into a wall - what to write about on this third day of many days of blogging? Here's what I've been thinking about this morning:

• If only I could eat cake for breakfast every morning...
• Is there social etiquette that dictates how I should/if I have to respond to all my facebook birthday messages?
• Spinner has cancer??!!?!?
• I wish I could put my Christmas tree up now...

So I think I'll leave you all and either knit or write about VoIP. I'm probably drinking again tonight (that's 3 weekends in a row) so maybe I'll have a fun story tomorrow. I did try to find a "hoochie" shirt at Kohl's to wear tonight. The only shirt I liked had some bra issues. All the rest of them were so amazingly cleavage prone that my Mom was repeatedly amazed by my ample bosom. Maybe I'll manage to write about my chest every day this November.

26 things that I like about me...

Yes, you read that right. I am going to go ahead and extol my own virtues on this day, my 26th birthday. Some of you random readers may find this conceited, self-centered, egotistical? This is not the case...I just wanted to do something with the number 26. And since I am still on a crusade to improve my self-esteem, this is the list that made most sense to me. This is probably going to be a full day project. So I'll be updating sporadically. 26 is a daunting number of things to like...

1. I'm a really good listener.
2. I have solid work ethic and sometimes enjoy working hard.
   
3. My boobs, while large, are fantastic (come on, you didn't think this would all be G-rated did you? And you know you stare at my chest sometimes).
   
4. My sense of humor is wide and quick to trigger.
   
5. Sometimes I can be witty.
   
6. I am fairly easy-going
   
7. But I know how to be confrontational when need be.
   
8. Sadly, I'm on number 8 and I'm running out of things to say. But I am tenacious (that's my 8).
   
9. I can be happy doing the simplest things (like knitting, or sitting here on the computer with Mona trying to fit on my lap with the computer)
   
10. I actually like to learn (most of the time, if it's interesting).
    
11. Silliness comes easily to me.
    
12. I don't settle.
    
13. The next 5 are courtesy of Janet, who is amazing and decided to help me out: I am a loyal friend.
    
14. I'm honest without being hurtful.
    
15. I think for myself and don't just follow trends.
    
16. I care about the environment.
    
17. I've got a great haircut that suits me perfectly (thanks Janet! I heart you!).
    
18. Sometimes, like when I wear workout pants, I think my butt is really nice.
    
19. I think in a lot of things I do have "faith" that everything will be OK. My nature can be optimistic.
    
20. I am tolerant of almost anything (although screaming children can get under my skin).
    
21. Lately, I tend towards cheerful (and I hope to keep it that way).
    
22. I excel at laziness. And I like that I'm good at it.
    
23. My imagination is quite overworked and my day dreams are amazing. Sometimes so realistic that I make myself cry (that's crazy, yes?)
    
24. Following this, I have a lovely imagination but I am realistic in almost all things.
    
25. I dance and sing around my apartment at night.
    
26. I love animals.

That was hard.

You all are more than welcome to agree with me in the comments below. If you disagree....well, i guess you're also welcome to do so. But remember, it's my birthday and you all should be nice. Closer to 30 than 20 now...

Welcome November...

It's NaBloPoMo time! This time around it will be particularly interesting. I work full time now and go to school full time, so a lot of these posts may be related to one or the other. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on the slant), coworkers are finding this blog. It's not hard. I haven't hidden it or anything. So I'm just going to have to be careful with how I talk about things.

I do think I'm in a better place than last year though, so maybe instead of a whole bunch of complaints I can be mostly positive this year. That'll be my NaBloPoMo goal. Here are my two rules:

1. No whining or complaining about anything.
2. Negatively slanted stories that have a modicum of humor will be allowed (imagine I get trapped on the El or something. That's a story but also a complaint. I'll just have to watch my phrasing).

So come visit katie + blog = fun? during November and feel the love...

Grrrr...

I'm not angry...that is just the sound that my second pumpkin is making. This weekend was our annual pumpkin carving party - and I have a serious love for the carving, so I carved two (as I have for the past few years). Here, on show, are my pumpkins:

Pumpkin A is the "pattern pumpkin". I used a pattern to carve it - it was also the pumpkin that entered our "pattern" contest and sadly, lost (we have a "free hand" and a "pattern" contest). I think I got a total of 0 votes. Ouch. If you can't tell, it's a "haunted house"(it looks better in the dark, but it's harder to take a picture in the dark. I'll try later and possibly update this post). Not so excited about it...



Pumpkin B was the pumpkin I was more excited about. The pumpkin was inspired by this site. My sister had found the site and decided to do one for her contest entry...and I felt like a cheater if I also took from the site for the competition. So I just did it for fun. He looks kick ass in the dark as well. His eyes get red and his teeth look awesome. I'll be doing more teeth next year....



This will be my last post until NaBloPoMo starts. In case you're not in the loop, NaBloPoMo is National Blog Posting Month - and it basically means I'll be posting every day in November. I think it's sort of fun that it's November, since that includes my birthday AND Thanksgiving. I think you should all do NaBloPoMo and spend my birthday (November 2) extolling my virtues. Or the opposite, telling the world why you find me annoying. Friday of NaBloPoMo should be "Talk about Katie" day. Ok, not really, I'm kidding. Mostly.

But for real, sign up to NaBloPoMo here. And have fun looking at random blogs from the list here.

Katie uses technology for evil....

So, before I get into my planned subject matter, let me just complain. I wore heely boots today where I usually wear flats; had to stand a lot when I am usually slothful. On the walk home I literally almost took off my shoes. My feet cramped up in the most painful way. I don't think they are going to be normal tomorrow.

Back to our regularly scheduled subject....

Sometimes I concoct lame experiments. Here's what happens: I have a fleeting thought. I boneheadedly believe that said thought is valid.

That is why I decided it would be intriguing to find out how many messages my answering machine can hold (somewhere between 20 and...infinity. It basically just said FL and then wouldn't give me my messages).

The following experiments are still underway:

1. The one where I think my coworkers are nicer to me when I'm either
• Wearing my hair pulled back
• Wearing form fitting clothes
2. The one where I use technology for evil (see below).

Ok. Here's the deal. Even though I was drunk at work on Friday, I had a full candy bowl. I got to work on Monday and there were like 5 pieces of candy in that bowl. Who is eating my candy? My desk came with a webcam. I hooked that bad boy up, pointed it at my candy bowl and set it to motion sensitive. Here are my conclusions thus far:

When I am away from my cube, people are more likely to:

• Root around in the bowl and touch every piece of candy
• Visit the candy bowl in general

Honestly, you'd be shocked by the time these people take to look around in the bowl. A bowl that can hold maybe 25 pieces of candy total. Touching every piece of candy. One of my coworkers ONLY visits the bowl when I'm not there. I am now convinced that she only eats my candy and canned shellfish (have you ever smelled oysters being microwaved? No? Well, consider yourself one lucky bastard). And I caught the cleaning lady eating my candy.

When I am at the desk, people do a hit and run. Grab the candy on the top and run. RUN! Katie hasn't seen you yet! Or else they feel the need to chat, pretend they like me, chat.

Candy bowl etiquette seems to be lacking...

Hope that your heart's always warm...

And here are the last three questions...written for the second time by cg who had her first set swallowed by blogger...

If tomorrow you could wake up and magically be brilliant at something that you can't do, or are crap at doing, today, what would it be?

This one is a no-brainer. I would want to be musical. I bet if I tried really hard I could be passingly musical, but who has the time or money to do that? I'd love to play the piano or guitar. And I'd love to sing in key. It might help if my fingers were magically stretched a bit as they are exceedingly small and make chords and keys seem impossible...

Desert island CD. I leave it to your discretion whether you want this to be an actual released album or a mix CD - if it's a mix CD, your discretion as to how many tracks you choose to list here ...

This is impossible. I realize I'd need a mix - because I'd need music to "work" to (you know, when I'm building my hut) and music to cry to (you know, because I'm stuck on a desert island). The problem here is that this is going to be influenced by what I love now. And anything will get tiring after a while. And oh my god, I can't handle the pressure.

Sad sap songs:

1. Mona Lisa - Guster
2. Brothers on a Hotel Bed - Death Cab for Cutie
3. Your Ex-Lover is Dead - Stars
   
4. Joga - Bjork
5. Not the Red Baron - Tori Amos
   
6. Age Six Racer - Dashboard Confessional
7. A Plain Morning - Dashboard Confessional
   
8. Typical Situation - DMB
9. Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap
   

Working hard songs:

1. Hyperballad - Bjork
2. Tripping Billies - DMB
3. Let Go - Frou Frou
   
4. My Name is Jonas - Weezer
   
5. Sexy Back - Justin Timberlake
6. Mr. Brightside - Killers
   
7. Lovestoned - Justin Timberlake
8. Oooh La - Kooks
   
9. Naive - Kooks
   
10. Crystal Ball - Keane
    
11. Do It - Nelly Furtado
12. Stronger - Kanye West

This question is too hard. Way too hard. And you all should take this opportunity to clue me in to new music, because I have been craving something new pretty hard for a few weeks now. I'm listening to music at work a lot now (to drown out some uncomfortable noises originating in the cubicle behind mine).

Most influential person in your life so far? and if I can stretch one question slightly, so that it also includes some hint of why/how so?

My Mom and Dad. Most of it was a lot of the normal shit, but I think I've learned a lot by example (and while most of that is good stuff, some of it has been "what not to do"). I'm really not sure that there will ever be a more influential person. My friends have had great influence on me as well...but that all just gets murkier than the parent thing even is (and we jump into the question of how much of me is me and how much of me is that which I've taken from others...).

Now cg...here are your questions:

• Because it was so torturous and hard, I'm going to make you do your own desert island question (freudian that I first typed dessert?)
• If you could give whatever you wanted (no cost/time/spatial restrictions) to someone you love, what would you give? And to who?
  
• As a fellow singleton (singleton's of the world unite!), do you have any "deal-breakers"? Do you have anything that you would like a "date" or partner to possess?
  

Questions and questions...

So, I forgot to ask Aaron some questions (sorry!):

• What is the first thing you notice about people when you meet them? (repeat question, but I like it).
• What is your favorite book? Favorite movie?
• If you could do anything for the next 24 hours, no consequences, no money limit...what would you do?

And now, Janet's questions....

What is one thing that you really want to accomplish in the next ten years?

This one is tough...I'm headed in the right direction for my "short-term" goals, which are to graduate grad school and own a condo (this one is more longer term). I guess the one "accomplishment" that I hope to have is a relationship of some kind? Even if I'm not in one at the ten year mark, to have had one in between now and then might be nice.

If you could have one meal and eat whatever you want without having to worry about fat or calories, what would it be?

Wow, this one is hard. But here it is...

Garlic Mashed Potatoes
Paneer Butter Masala (with Naan to dip into it and rice to eat it on)
a Sweet Mandy B's cupcake

What TV character (or movie I guess) is most like you? Most like who you would want to marry?

This one is terribly tricky. It doesn't help that my memory is so thin. My first thought was Angela from My So Called Life. She's so naive and sensitive...and I feel like that a lot lately. Who I would want to marry...my first thought was Jim from the Office. I just love him right now. And I love his sense of humor.

So Janet...you didn't say if you want questions or not...let me know if you do. I know you don't really blog anymore...so just let me know!

A few more questions...

Aaron asks....

Do you or have you watched any TV series religiously? If so, which ones?

Honestly, I've sort of fallen off of the religious TV watching thing. The only show I would really be sad if it didn't Tivo is the Office. I used to really love Grey's Anatomy, but eh. And maybe I'll be excited when Lost comes back around. Overall, I'm less attached to the TV than I've ever been...

What's your favorite thing about living in Chicago? What's your least favorite thing? (sorry, 2 in one...)

It is really hard to pick any favorite thing...I love the fact that I can walk almost anywhere. I love the view at times (there's an awesome, amazing, delicious view off on the top level of the Children's Memorial Hospital parking garage or the view from certain roads on the way in). I love the food options. Restaurants everywhere...

I don't love the traffic. I don't love the smells (sometimes, you just walk through a pee cloud or a sewage cloud). Right now I don't love the CTA.

Where in the world do you most want to go where you have not been before?

My top vacation destination at the moment is Greece. I have this thing for ruins...

But I also would like to see some part of Africa, rainforest somewhere (Brazil maybe)...it would be pretty cool to go to China...and I still sort of want to go to India.

Sigh...

So I promise my two last question askers that I will answer next post...but I just wanted you all to know:

There is something entirely overwhelming about being drunk at work (sanctioned drunk, don't worry - I got drunk during team building). At this point in my drunk arc I sort of want to lay down and take a nap or cry.

And that is why you should never drink with your coworkers.

The end.

PS - I am going to be hungover around 6pm unless I drink more. And...that is sad. But I think I'll go ahead and drink more.

Last call...

Last call for questions....I'm going to go ahead and extend the invite to anyone...and if you don't want questions in return, I respect that, you can now ask without having to answer in reciprocation.

After that, it's back to blogging as usual (and then in November, blogging daily)...

More questions...

Mavis, I confess, I like this game too....and it's sort of a little more intriguing when you don't really know the person (although my sister has informed me how you all know each other, so I know there is that slight connection).

Do you read the newspaper, either online or print edition? If so, do you have any favorite reporters/columnists?

I do read the newspaper online, although not as thoroughly as you seem to imply. The Trib is my homepage on all of my computers (home and work) so I look at the headlines probably 100 times a day. I am mainly a headline reader though...I do occasionally drill down to the story, but usually it involves zoo animals or other animals (it's a weakness). As election stuff ramps up I'll be horrified and dismayed and end up reading a lot of that stuff. Due to my superficial reading, no, I have no favorite columnists...

If you could max out a credit card (someone else is paying the bill) at any store, which store would you pick?

This is TOUGH. Is it crazy that I want to say Target? I love Target. I would like to be able to max it out over the course of the year though...so I could hit all seasonal stuff....

What is the worst book you've ever read?

How about the worst book I never got farther than 100 pages in? Gravity's Rainbow. BLARGH. And...I may have to try to read that sucker again.

Book I got through that I hated? The Alchemist. I hated that book. I actually think it's a fairly brilliant test of whether or not I'm going to get along well with someone...did you like the Alchemist? Yes? Bye.

Ok Mavis, here are my questions for you:

• What is the first thing you notice about someone when first meeting them? Is it different for guys vs. girls?
• If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change?
• Do you have any guilty pleasures? If not, do you wish you had some?
  

Redhead's questions...

An owl? Why?

Ah the owl. It's sort of a silly story that starts with a sorority "mascot", middles with an owl collection and an ugly ornament tradition and ends with my Mom being horrified that I would get a tattoo that is "for" her.

What is your favorite color and why? When did make that your favorite color?

Red.

? I don't really know. I just like it. It's vibrant, it's happy. But it's not shockingly vibrant (depending on your hue obviously) and it's more somberly happy than say...yellow. I like to wear it and live with it.

How do you look back at your sorority experience?

Sort of a mish-mash. I think it was necessary because I was swimming in a large university and suffering from a bad freshman dorm placement (I was in the upper-classmen dorm. Yeah - you try to make friends with other freshmen when you're surrounded by old people). I didn't really "profit" from the social events (although I feel like we went to quite a few of them senior year) but overall I remember my experience only positively. Although I am stuck still talking to people like redhead.... :)

Redhead...here are your questions

• Will you ever go back for a higher degree? If so, in what?
• When you imagine your future, what do you see?
• Are you still thinking of naming your child Seabass? Any names picked out for the future?
  

Al's questions...

Once again, some questions (if you don't know what's going on here, scroll down a bit and read the 3 blog posts before this one):

Do you ever regret getting your tattoo? Side question: Do you ever think you'll get another one and if you did, what would it be?

Nope, no regret. Although I do sometimes wish it looked slightly different and will probably "jazz" it up someday. But I definitely don't regret what is on me right now. And yes, yes, yes I will be getting more tattoos. Unfortunately, to the chagrin of my parents, I will probably be the one in the extended family that ends up with a menagerie of tattoos. Probably a whole lot of small ones, although I did once see a huge one that I would consider. I'm just not ready for that kind of tattoo commitment yet. My next two tattoos are already planned. I'm just waiting on them to make sure they hold - I always try to wait a longish amount of time so that I don't brand myself impulsively.

Tattoo the second: stars on the top of my foot. Colored. The color is up for grabs at this point - possibly primaries...maybe something like teal, gold, eggplant? I'm not entirely sure on that yet - that may be something I'd discuss with the tattooer.

Tattoo the third: An owl...location still in question. Possible hip bone, on the front or back...not sure. One color. Not sure if it's black...

What is YOUR definition of chemistry?

Should I give back story on this question? Ok - so I'm questioning my judgment on all things having to do with men. Maybe that's not even clear enough....I can't decide one way or the other about someone, if I'm crushing on him or not. So I was wondering if chemistry can be a one way street (thoughts readers?). And then Al and I got into a convo about chemistry. My definition is somewhat limited, something along the lines of: the sizzle you feel around someone you're clicking with. However, I think this is too narrow. I now may adopt Al's definition which was (I paraphrase): when your personalities click/bounce back and forth with someone. When personalities play well together....

How would you answer this question: "So Katie, what's your story?"

When I read this question, I think the appropriate answer is one or two sentences:

Twenty-something reluctant scholar who spends her days laughing with other nerds while making websites for librarians. Is hopelessly attached to her family and a few good friends while spending most of her time around other humans being socially awkward.


So Al, here are your questions. Answer them at will:

• I heart that story question, so I'm going to make you answer your own question. So Al, what's your story?
• If you could eat only one thing for the rest of your days what would it be? If you could only read one thing? Watch one thing? Listen to one...CD?
• When you imagine your future, what does it look like?
  

Pooj's questions...

See the original questions post for how this thing is working...

What did you take away from your college experience at U of I?

I think the most important thing was definitely not the schooling part of it (because honestly, I use barely anything I learned there. The only possible useful thing I was schooled in is writing. I can kill a business case now). I think I came away with a better idea of who I am, how to interact with people (and live with them...and even learned that I don't really want to live with them). Probably the one thing I learned that may be different to what most people learn in college (sure, I learned my alcohol tolerance like the rest) is how to be alone and not be lonely.

If you had the power to make one fictitious character a reality, who would it be?

My first inclination was Ronald Weasley. But, like my sister said with Anne of Green Gables, I think he is some amalgamation of Ron Weasley and Rupert Grint in my head. There is a weird mesh there...

I have this horrible problem where I don't really remember much of what I have read. It's sort of the same issue with not remembering all that many details of my childhood. Not sure why this happens/happened, but remembering fictitious characters is not my strong suit (my head is probably brimming full of song lyrics and coding and all that other stuff was pushed out).

Does your dad make the best homemade pizza? Just kidding...

The truth is...I've never had any other homemade pizza. But, I'm sure if I had, yours would come out on top....

If you could only watch 3 more movies in your life, which ones would you choose?

This one is tough. I think I'd have to pick ones that I could watch over and over...so here's the first three I came up with:

1. The Fifth Element (Action + Sci-fi)
2. Love Actually (Romance + a dose of realism)
3. Empire Records (a bit of everything)

Ok Pops, it's your turn:

• This is a first instinct/first thought question, so you have to answer it with the first thing that pops into your mind: Happiest memory? Saddest memory?
• What TV shows are you watching this year?
• I'm stealing this question from Ang's questioner, Mavis: You have to leave right now to go to the airport for a 10 day trip. Where are you going? And...are you taking me with you?
  

As I was typing this I got another three questions. I'm going to do those later tonight or tomorrow...