If I had a memory that lasted longer than 12.5 seconds I would have named this post the name of a chinese folk song that Lang Lang played at the piano recital this afternoon. But, I don't have memory, so alas, the song is forgotten and there is no title.

So. Lang Lang. I enjoyed the recital although I do admit to a touch of boredom in the first half of the show (two long pieces that took about an hour, compared to the second half which was 5 pieces that took 30 minutes or so). In case you don't know, Lang Lang is a piano prodigy...he's 23 and plays all over the world. He's also a funny little man. He makes love to his piano and the music (orgasm faces, quirky smiles, swaying, etc.). A lady behind us was complaining about his "theatrics." I thought it was intriguing - I couldn't decide if it was theatrics or something he couldn't control. I also confessed at intermission that I just wanted to hear Lang Lang talk...what would he sound like? He did talk, right before the encore performance (the folk song I don't know the name of) and he is kind of dreamy. All in all a good afternoon.

A dream...

(Scene) some anonymous boy and I have just finished a very short, unsatisfying tryst.

Katie: Did we just do that without a condom?
Boy: (self-satisfied smirk) Yes.
Katie: Well shit, now I have to go find that morning after pill because I'm sure I'm pregnant. Shit.
Boy: ...
Katie: Wait, you have STD's don't you? You gave me an STD??
Boy: (nervous chuckle) Uh, yeah, I have hogwarts.

The school for witchcraft and wizardry has now become an STD (which in the dream I knew to be something like a mix between herpes and genital warts). Hogwarts.

Katie's day of offness....

Before I go into all the details of my fantastically errant day, I'll echo my sister's sentiments on the symphony. First I should just say that I never feared I would be bored. Something about instrumental music (I say instrumental because a lot of my past experience with orchestra-type music is of the movie soundtrack variety - so, it's not the classic classical stuff) makes me feel all tingly. I get chills when the strings hit certain notes and feel serious swells of joy/emotion at key parts of the songs. I truly enjoy it. And I did enjoy last night. I must say that while Joshua Bell wow'd me with his solo violin work, I just prefer when the whole orchestra plays together. I like when it sounds strong, harmonized...like all the parts adding to a whole. Sounds like a 13 year old is trying to explain music...but really, that's my knowledge level...plus, I had the day from hell and the brain literally shut off around 12. Oh, and wanted to clarify that the reason I think I'll be bored at Lang Lang is that same idea of parts making a whole....because there is only one Lang Lang. And while I'm sure he'll be amazing....I just like when it all works together.

And now here's the million and one reasons why everything went spectacularly wrong today:

1. Internet in the apartment wouldn't work this morning or until about 20 minutes ago (which in turn led to number 8....)
2. The big boss saw me reading the sister's blog at work today. And while nothing came of it and I'm not even sure it really connected in his mind that I wasn't doing work, it started a bad feeling in my gut, a guilty sort of feeling that made my mood go sour.
3. Free pizza was ordered for all the administrative assistants (happy admin. assistant day!) which means all the student workers would get to eat it. While this sounds good - it sort of made me panic about my social awkwardness and the fact that the little "clique" that I'm supposed to be in (my department's student workers) I am not in, because they are horribly inane and talk about cheating on their boyfriends, versace sunglasses and today, how much they loved Uncle Jessie's music on Full House (you can't make this stuff up). They particularly like the song he sang at his wedding (aaaawww). Anyway, it was going to be socially awkward.
4. If the pizza arrived on time. But it didn't. I left at one, and pizza was not there yet. So while I avoided that social issue, I also didn't get free pizza for lunch.
5. At 12, I got a migraine. A viscious, fast moving migraine. I immediately took 4 advil, which does nothing for the vision impairment, so I spent my last hour at work half-blind (for those of you who don't know, when I get a migraine, my left eye gets a huge diagonal slash of white, twinklyness that blocks my vision. I think it's formally called "aura." It's sort of like that after-effect of staring at a lightbulb, only it lasts forever and is much bigger/worse. If you're curious about migraines--which are sort of interesting, I suggest you go here). Working on data while half-blind is almost impossible.
   
6. I'm supposed to go straight to class after work, but once I was up and walking the head pain was fairly unbearable. I had to go to my 3:00 class though because the attendance on this particular day is 50% of my attendance grade. So I skipped my 1:00 and went to Corner Bakery and ate soup.
   
7. During the 3:00 class, the fire alarm went off. In my ear. Awful for the migraine. While waiting outside, three fire trucks wailed up. My head felt like it might explode. And of course there was nothing wrong with the building. It almost seemed like a drill. Which makes NO sense to me, having a fire drill during midterm week?
   
8. Finally, walking home (so excited to get to my couch) I nearly swooned/overheated. The TV told me the high was going to be in the 40's today, and I dressed accordingly <-- I had to rely on the news because I couldn't check my favorite, weather.com, due to #1. When I left class it must have been 60+ and I was sweating. Hot, with a headache...

And now that I have gone through every bad thing I can think of that happened, I don't feel any better. Just like a big whiner. Whine, whine, whine...

Rargh...

That's the noise for today. Almost lost a whole assignment (and panicked/screamed/raged before I found out windows had "recovered" it), worked on it for like...12 hours. Hate the class. It's my graduate course too. Hate it.

In other news: does anyone else feel like those people who are all dying from the bad heroin...well, they were doing heroin? Should we be shocked and appalled that the ILLEGAL heroin they were snorting/shooting up/ smoking (can you smoke it? I wouldn't know) was bad? I mean, really. Is it bad that I feel hardly any sympathy? Probably. I'm a mean, mean girl.

Someone today was belting at the top of his lungs this song over and over and over...with an open window. So loud that I, sitting in my apartment with an open window, could hear him. I wish he could somehow see this because he was BAD. And he shouldn't make me listen to that. Now, the opera singer I sometimes hear: that's interesting. The cellist: also interesting. The silverchair boy: not interesting. Terrible.

I have a crazy week. Midterm tomorrow, CSO on Tuesday, Cubs Game Friday...and CSO again on Sunday (but for just Lang Lang, not the whole symphony)...and it keeps going. But it should all be fun.

If you're a weekday reader, read the previous post as well and give me some ideas.

Request...

I have a question for anyone out there who runs/works out while listening to music. What music really "pumps you up"? My sister and I compared workout music the other day and I got a few good songs off of her...I was hoping to add a few more, add some variety....

Anyway, if any/all of you could post a song or two that you really like to workout to...that would be great. Oh...and I'm going to test out letting anonymous people comment again....

Java headache...

So I'm about to complain about computer nerdery...if you have no interest in said nerdery, you can stop now.

Before I start, I would like to complain that i have a terrible headache. Which is really probably my own fault and is probably the effect of:

1. Ingesting so much sugary sweetness I will poo cubes of sugar tomorrow.
2. Not wearing contacts today, wearing the glasses.
3. Sitting in front of the computer, staring at code for 2 and a half hours. Two of those hours I was frustrated and beginning to boil (thus, forming those sugar cubes in the stomach).

For the first time since January, I am having a problem with a specific piece of code. That piece of code is my entire assignment due next Monday (good thing I started early) so it's one really important piece of code. It does nothing for the world or for anyone really, it just sorts fractions in ascending order. A bunch of you out there are like, bah, what a waste of time. And I agree. But, I'm still a beginner. And the point of this exercise is HOW it sorts the fractions. Bbbooooring. And completely frustrating. I can't stop thinking about which part of the code is wrong. Yikes, I'm a nerd.

I should be in bed...

But oh my God. Two examples of the kind of online dating I'm subjecting myself to:

1. Single line e-mail: "let's trade myspaces". Myspace is ruining the world. And no, I did not "trade myspaces." I didn't reply either. I deleted.
   
2. Long email. First two lines: " I'm looking for an attractive and friendly travel partner for a 5-7 day Caribbean vacation. This all inclusive offer comes from a swm/38 who's stable, intelligent and living alone on the north side of the city." Um...do I want to be raped and murdered in the Caribbean? No. Crrrrreeeepy. Oh, and don't forget that "Traveling with a near stranger for uninhibited fun should be both appealing and motivating". I am shuddering in terror. E-mail deleted. Now I just have to try to forget that happened.

I am fairly busy for the rest of the week. So....see you at the end.

The results of cupcake abundance...

Basically, my stomach is staging a revolution. On a Monday. The day of all of my classes. I've been going through this awful guilt spiral about not going to my graduate class: "What happens if my grade suffers because I didn't want to suffer through class? You can sit through class. Uh-oh, no you can't. It's a waste of my grad school money and bad to miss class." Etc. Etc. But I don't think I'll be making it to class later.

In order to entertain myself (besides trying to do some reading and school work) I decided to take a different tack with the whole online dating thing. Without going into too many details, since I really don't want all of you to go looking for these online profile things (which is why I never have mentioned the specific dating service I used) I'm now drowning in possible dates. And weird pictures. Some guy sent me a picture of "his abs." Like that's going to win me over (and I put his abs in quotes because...are they really? I'm skeptical). Anyway, my new idea is that I should keep momentum. I went on a date, maybe I should make effort to go on another.

Oh, and two things I forgot to mention previously:

1. Buttons are up. Only for the next 9 or so days unless I get a really good idea, motivation and some time to make more buttons soon.
2. I wanted to endorse Spelling Bee (musical) for all of you Chicagoans or even for anyone who likes to make a trip to see theatre. It was very funny, sort of improv-y (but it's a musical?)....me, my cousin Bee and my sister had a great time. Bee even played a small part in the play. For any of you who have seen it, she was Marigold. I think the theatre and Chicago theatres in general are hoping to establish a sort of mini-Broadway. And this is the second part of the plan...Wicked was the first test (as in, can it make it for months..and now years and still turn a profit)...and now this smaller, quirky play is test number 2. Can it make it? So, support Chicago theatre, go see Spelling Bee. It was under 2 hours with no intermission...
   

Day of cupcake abundance....

Happy easter everyone. I thought you should all see the reason I am too excited to eat later. The cupcake from Sweet Mandy B's:



Sweet Mandy B's is evil. Too good to resist, so good. Oh, and just for your complete cupcake knowledge, there are also cupcakes with purple and green frosting in a different container. Every color of the pastel rainbow.

Hopefully the rest of the food will be just this exciting (deviled eggs and egg salad are also on offer later...which means the day/food should be completely edible and delicious). Hope you have a nice Sunday...

Who am i...

Today on Oprah women who have "let themselves go" were told to start a journey towards finding themselves by asking themselves, "Who am I?" Be careful, because Oprah says that "mother" "daughter" "lover" and such labels do not count. If Oprah says so, it must be true. Please think of things such as "I am a ball-busting bitch" or "I am too timid to tell you who I am." I know who I am, so I've decided to modify her question for shits and giggles (and for my own personal growth) to become "Who am I attracted to?"

I can truly say that I don't know. So, I'm going to start taking stock of any boy I'm even remotely attracted to. I think my hormones or lust-bug or cootchie (too much?) might be a tad too picky.

I thought I would share that I have found that I am overwhelmingly attracted to Mr. Darcy. There's no picture on IMDB of him, so I actually had to be one of 'those girls' who goes and looks at hot boys on their fan sites. Puke. Anyway, the truth is that I don't know if I'm attracted to the actor or to the actor playing Mr. Darcy. All I can say is that all three of my lustful parts that I mentioned above (as if lust-bug really exists?) stood at attention.

Anyway, the movie was good. Which I was determined not to like because Keira makes me want to throw things into that little hole in her lips that never closes. Her lips never fully close. Freak.

If this makes you cringe at my vulgarity, you do not belong here. Go away.

When mostly everything goes wrong...

Lots of long stories and a few short stories of why that is true. I could go on and on in a highly negative fashion, but for some reason I'm in an OK mood...so let's not get bogged down in suckiness.

I saw a man on the "L" sleeping with an open, had to be almost empty because of the angle, energy drink. A big one too. Not working for him, huh?

And of course, there is my lunch "date" to report on. To be honest, I'm just glad it's over. The waiting and wondering (it was essentially a blind date) were worse than the thing itself. And I mean, he was a really nice guy. But..eh, nothing. I just didn't feel like, oooh, I want to make out with you. About halfway through the lunch he was yammering about something and I was like, do it: picture kissing him. And the mental picture? It was no romance novel scene, more like an awkward middle school kiss. So, I didn't strike gold on my first date in like...I think 4 or something years. But at least I went on a date. I guess now I keep trying....maybe I'll re-sign up to the online dating service this summer. Maybe.

ANTM....

If you don't watch America's Next Top Model, this whole post means nothing to you. It's really a short post, so don't feel bad.

1. I hate Jade. Jade...your attitude, ego, extreme amount of cockiness and rudity (sure, i made that word up, but i like it. Rudeness is boring. Rudity? yessss...) are nauseating.
2. Watching the preview for next week I literally got a little teary watching Joanie and her teeth...and then her tearful little confession about being at the dentist for 12 hours. What a nightmare.
   

Other than that...I'm not really pulling for any of them. Except I'm pulling for "not Jade" and I think at this point "not Nnenna."

The circus freak...

Hi kids, I'm Katie "the single girl" here to tell you what I do on the weekends. Please keep in mind that I, unlike 97.6% of single women, do not enjoy drinking or partying. Therefore, keep in mind that I am just that much freakier than your average freak of a single woman.

My weekends haven't changed all that much since I went back to school. I do want to put it out there that I was unhappy for a while at my job, so weekends I would mope around a lot. I almost always have something to do. I go to museums. I go to the zoo (it's free and 4 blocks away!). I clean. I watch TV. I watch movies. I see people. I do everything a couple does, just by myself. And I mean everything (oooh, dirty joke). I'm not sure why it would be hard to understand what a single person could do to have fun on a weekend. Just this weekend I've watched a movie, gone to a first birthday party, seen a play, eaten out and caught up with my homework/reading as much as I can.

I was about to say that being single I get to spend a lot of time with friends. But I truly have one friend in the city (awww, sad). But somehow it has become that I spend a lot of time with various family members, who are some of my closest friends (awww, cheesy).

I think it's awesome not to depend on someone to entertain me. I love being alone. This is an awful thing to confess, but sometimes when I have plans I feel really reluctant right up to the point where I am doing said plans. I just like to be alone. I was a little lonely last year when I was so unhappy...but right now I feel perfectly content with my life.

This would probably be a great time to update you on my dating efforts. I do have a tentative lunch date this Thursday. Please do not get excited. I am not auditioning boyfriends. I am just making a half-assed attempt to get myself out there. I don't want a boyfriend. At this point, I don't think I'm ready to make any compromises with my life. I love my life. But it would be really nice to be touched by a boy again (too much information?).

Let's play pretend...

Today I pretended to be a runner. It's part of my new "get healthy" plan/attack. I need to be more fit and in the end all of this will hopefully help with my high cholesterol and slightly larger than desired bust and belly. Running felt really great. If by feeling great you mean:

1. Feeling like I might suffocate and die in the middle of the street
2. Being slightly afraid that I might yak
3. Possibly drowning in my amazing amounts of saliva

According to my pedometer, I did exactly 20 minutes of aerobic work out. In the real world, I ran for maybe 3 minutes total and walked the rest while huffing and puffing. The plan is to run at least (at least!) two times a week. And eventually be able to jog/run for 10 minutes to a half an hour straight. I understand this will be months and months of work. But I'm ready. So tomorrow I'll probably run for a total of 3.5 minutes.

Oh and my ass looks really hot in running pants. For real. Maybe I'll wear spandex all the time.

I was going to talk about my life as a single girl, but this post is long enough. Tomorrow maybe?

I heart reader participation...

Let's go kiddies, it's time to play! Stolen from my sister, who in turn stole it from another blog she reads.

Step 1: Put your MP3 player or whatever on random.
Step 2: Post the first line(s) from the first 30 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Strike through the songs when someone guesses correctly.
Step 5: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING

1. I am waiting, 'til I don't know when
2. Mary walks down to the water's edge
3. I don't believe in the smile that you leave when you walk away
4. Isn't it strange that a gift can be an enemy?
5. I got plans tonight, and you, you know what I like
6. No, no, Mama, now Devil done do-si-do
7. And the hardest part was letting go not taking part
8. Yes. It's so crazy right now, most incredibly
9. Morning calls for pain relief, a line above the step beneath
10. Look at the stars, look how they shine for you
11. Heres comes the morning and I'll say goodbye to you
    
12. You may tire of me, as our December sun is setting
13. Burn it down, 'til the embers smoke on the ground
14. I know you think that I shouldn't still love you, I'll tell you that
15. Ladies and Gentlemen, it's my pleasure to introduce to you, he's a friend of mine (this one identified by my Mom over IM: Senorita by Justin Timberlake)
    
16. Cold, cold water surrounds me now (identified by Tim over IM: Cold Water - Damien Rice)
17. Caught a lite sneeze, caught a lite breeze
18. I am terrified of all things, frightened of the dark, I am
19. Where the river cross, crosses the lake
20. You could see me reaching, so why couldn't you have met me halfway?
21. It's not that she walked away, her world got smaller
22. Breaking my back just to know your name
23. When you look in the mirror, wish you were somebody else
24. Believe me Natalie, listen Natalie
25. You make me lose my buttons oh yeah you make me spit
26. The Atlantic was born today and I'll tell you how
27. Coming down I'm coming round this time i think i'm waking up
28. Maybe I'm the afterglow, cuz I'm with the band you know
29. And when I see you, I really see you upside down
30. When she walks down the street, she knows there's people watching

I think this list is a little too easy. And truly, not that great of a representation of my music. The old IPod shuffle failed me. So have at it.

Whhhhaaaa?

Quick thing I learned today: hard liquor can keep your house plants standing tall.

Also, my photoshop skills are about to sky-rocket into usefulness and I am really excited about all the possibilities this will bring for my blogs. I also am slowly trying to learn html by myself...and eventually all of those new fangled web languages. I am almost positive that one of my classes fall quarter is all XML (if that means anything to you) so my whole goal of revolutionizing this blog may just eeeeek its way true by Dec. 31, 2006.

City streets at night...

These past two days I've seen a lot that made me think: oh man, I should blog about that. But I didn't. Does anybody else do that? I'll be in a situation and I'll think of what I would write about it. Maybe that makes me weird...but that's what I do. So here's the ones I can recollect:

• I managed to get away from the cool ranch smelly boy, only to sit behind someone that smelled like moldy old shoe (don't pretend you don't know what that smells like) and skunk all rolled together. All 3.25 hours of class little wafts of stank air floated my way. It was torture. Add to that the fact that I somehow knew all of the stuff we covered ...it was possibly the longest 3 hours ever.
• My current "Time 100" book is exactly 1,079 pages long. It is a fiction novel with 388 footnotes (which comprise 96 pages of the 1,079). It is an extremely difficult read. I don't think my sister will ever finish it as she doesn't have the self-control/staying power that I do. I will offer this as future encouragement for her: there have been some smile/almost chuckly moments thus far. I'm on page 204 of the actual book and 15 pages into the footnotes. I think it's going to take the entire quarter. The Time 200 will be out by the time I finish all 100 books...
  
• I still don't understand how I can love this city so much. Especially when I don't really see all that much of it. But on clear Monday nights I get to see the city in all it's nighttime glory on my ride home. It's breathtaking.

That's all I've got. I'm sure there were more. I'm going to try to find some time later in the week to address Jill's questions about single people. I think, to someone who has been in a relationship all of her adult life, she looks at us as a weird specimen in a zoo (us? I guess I really only have 2 single friends...and that's including my mom). I'll leave you with this quote from my encyclopedia length book: "That loneliness is not a function of solitude." (i decided to leave the that...put it in the context of a list of things that you learn).

Daylight Savings...

I totally forgot about it. I feel like I lost an hour. Time for a meme:

1. Who was your first prom date? These sort of questions always make me worry about putting someone's name out there on the internet. He was my last real boyfriend (that was so long ago!). It was tons of fun.
2. Who was your first roommate(s)? I was only roommates with her for half a year. Then I somehow managed to get a single. She was sort of rude, sort of strange.
3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink the first time you got drunk? Who remembers this? I'm sure it was hard alcohol of some kind, vodka, rum. I was young. Visiting my cousin at college. I remember Katy puking in my cousins bathroom....and my cousin was so drunk, he was outside the door telling her he loved her and stuff (in a drunk way, not a real way). The first time I got drunk was visiting a cousin at college and the first time I've blacked out while drunk was on another visit to that same cousin at that same college.
4. What was your first job? I, like my sister, worked at the library (I think she helped me secure the job). However, unlike my sister, I was a book shelver. Not even as important as a page. And, unlike my sister, I really won't work at a library ever again.
5. What was your first car? I guess you'd have to count that Corolla? Because when my sister went to college, she didn't take it and I inherited it. That was a solidly good car.
6. When did you go to your first funeral? My grandpa.
7. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown? I'll go with moving to Champaign for college. Although, personally, I don't think that really counts...because hometown was still my "home." So maybe, a year and a half ago when I moved to Chicago. This apartment became home.
8. Who was your first grade teacher? ? I do remember my kindergarten teacher's name (which is SHOCKING considering my utter lack of memory)...Mrs. Lickner.
9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? Probably Arizona. These questions that involve memory are hard.
10. When did you sneak out of your house for the first time, who was it with? I don't think I ever snuck out. I used to have boys come over late at night (don't think this is dirty, it was truly innocent) when we would be talking on IM and they would be silly and run over. I also used to lie to my mom about where I was sleeping so I could sleep at boy's houses. This was also more innocent than it sounds. Me and my friend Katy used to go to parties and stay there to avoid that whole drunk driving thing. And it happened maybe 3 times?
11. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them? I think probably my cousin Bee. Technically we're still friends...I think if we weren't related I wouldn't know her anymore. I also managed to maintain my friendship with Katy (which I feel lucky about) who was my friend in the 4th/5th grade.
12. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parentsÂ’ house? Wow. I can't remember my dorm's name. Let me look it up. BARTON. That was some of the worst luck I've ever had.
13. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? ? I usually just deal with it alone. If it's really bad, maybe I'd call my mom? Or I'd IM my sister.
14. Whose wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid/groomsman? Friend who is now a pharm student. It will be two years in May. We're old.
15. What is the first thing you do in the morning? Depends on if I'm actually waking up or being woken up by the devil cats. Sometimes I yell at them then go back to sleep. Or if I'm really getting up I use the toilet and get in the shower.
16. What was the first concert you ever went to? R.E.M. The Monster tour. So good.
17. First tattoo or piercing? I think I was five when I got my ears pierced. My aunt did them (she's a nurse so she had piercing guns). I remember she did the first one and I ran around screaming. Then she did the second one which is TOTALLY in the wrong place. I have ear piercings in quite different locations. Which has made it impossible to pierce my lobes more than once. I also have a cartiledge piercing (which I've been considering taking out). And a tattoo on my back.
18. First celebrity crush? Probably Jordan from NKOTB. I look back and find absolutely nothing attractive about him, then or now.
19. Age of first kiss? This is tricky. The first time I "pecked" a boy was probably 5th grade. He was dreamy. My first "french" kiss was summer before my freshman year of high school (yes, that is a long time in between...it seems to be the way I work).
20. First crush? I really have no idea. I remember there was this bad boy named Kris (third grade?). We called him the boy in the red shirt (?). Pretty sure he turned out to be a bad seed.
21. First time you did drugs? If you don't count alcohol, I've never done drugs.