I was nervous when I first moved in to my apartment. There are two exits - a door to a back alley and a door to the main entrance hallway. These doors are downstairs while my bedroom is up. In order to overcome my fear of someone breaking in and raping me in my sleep I installed a really classy alarm system: I hung two sleigh bells on each door. They smack the door whenever it opens or closes. This is noisy. Being a light sleeper, I figured this would be all the alarm I would ever need. That was five years ago. Last Friday night I realized that those sleigh bells that were making me less afraid? Useless. Because apparently when I'm truly asleep I sleep like the dead. I give you exhibits a-c:

1. Loml shows up at my apartment after his show at 2am. He brings with him a very large, heavy piece of plastic which holds his gear from said show. I do not realize he is there until he is next to the bed, shining his iphone like a flashlight to find his way around. Which means he opened the belled door, deposited his gear, closed and locked the door, climbed the creaky stairs and traversed the creaky floor to get to my bed without me waking.
   
2. He then tells me about two other occasions. The first: we hang out at my apartment, he somehow gets all the way home without his wallet. He then comes back and searches for it. He found it under the love seat. I slept right through it all.
3. The second: he's staying over. He gets up in the middle of the night, ends up going downstairs and having a snack. Comes back up to bed. All without my knowledge.
   

Sleep like the dead. Yes, I definitely still have issues falling asleep. But staying asleep? I guess not so much.