Open Sesame...

One of my hopes for the New Year (besides everyone living through it) was that I could stop internalizing everything...and just get out of my head. The past two weeks I have failed miserably and I am currently awash in negativity. And so I'm going to open my valve and let my negative experiences and feelings spew all over this blog. [on a side note, it's totally weird but I can't help but picture a valve (triangular, on the side of my shoulder/arm) opening. Is that weird? If you had a valve where would it be and what would it look like?]...

1. I had no idea I was going to take the death of Allie as hard as I have. I felt cryish all day yesterday (maybe because everything else added together made it harder?). Either way, it's sad.
   
2. Stupid radiator. I come home last night to a freshly "sealed" wall. All this meant to me was anger. Why? Because, the assholes that "maintenance" my apartment didn't cover my furniture with plastic sheeting (most likely because I wasn't around to make them be careful). I came home to a layer of crappy white dust all over everything and toxic fumes. It makes me angry just thinking about it. It's bad enough that they make a mess of my floors with their dirty boots (this is my HOME, take your shoes off) but then they had me worrying about ruined furniture? The idea of dealing with landlords and maintenance men for the next 5-10 years makes me feel utterly despondent.
   
3. One of my professors is horrible. Not mean, just a horrible, horrible teacher. It is week 8 (of 11 weeks) and I just turned in my midterm (he gave it to us 3 weeks late). I have yet to see a grade for any of my assignments. I have yet to learn a single thing (for the first...4 weeks he was literally making it up as he went along. We did nothing but stupid assignments where we searched the internet during class time. And it was 4 weeks of one topic that had nothing whatsoever to do with the subject of the class). At the 5th week I think he panicked, and at that point he stole (or borrowed if you feel like giving him the benefit of the doubt. Which I don't.) powerpoint presentations from another professor. Fine, right? At least he'd have a clear outline. No, not true. He didn't LOOK at his slides before class and any time anyone had a question he looked like he was about to shit his pants. I have no respect for this man. None. And yet I have to try to get something out of this class (the only class I'll take about Internet Security, which is kind of important). Thinking about paying $2300 for his BS just makes me boil. Boil.
4. My group, for a huge website development project, turned out to be 50% worthless. That makes a solid 3 of us (self-included) out of 6 able to actually code. The sheer amount of work is enough to stress anyone out. Add to that the work taken to clean up the work of the only other person in the group who's trying and it seems like there is no way a working site will be ready a week and a half from now. Thinking about it makes me ill. And angry (how, HOW did these people get into the class???!!!?)
5. This quarter, for the first time...since regular college, I have two in-class exams that are not open note. Not of the multiple choice variety (because I am 100% OK with those) but of the short-essay variety. And I dread them.
6. My cat (MONA) keeps peeing outside the box. Cat pee...it smells really, really bad. The strongest smelling pee in the world. So now I'm coming up with all kinds of solutions to this problem...the first of which was to put the top on the litter box. But Mona is so tall and Boku is so fat that they both look all squished up when they get in there. I'm just waiting for the day where they start peeing out the hole in the front. I basically need to go on a search for a gigantor litter box...
   

Valve closed. I don't really feel any better. At all. If anything I just feel angrier at my "Professor" and more stressed about tests and websites. I'll be very glad when this quarter is over.

Maybe I'll open the good stuff valve really quickly:

1. I finished a whole lot of knitting projects in the past few weeks. I've tried taking pictures....but I suck, suck, suck at it. Plus, one of them is for someone who doesn't know they are getting it (don't get too excited readers, I think that the recipient doesn't read this blog. But I have to be careful). Another finished project is for a reader and I might as well not show her a picture before she gets it. And the most recent was a little hat. That looks pretty kick ass but its a little tight...and my earlobes are showing (not unusual because my earlobes are unusually large).
2. Spring break is soon (negative valve creeps open with a hissed Not soon enough).
3. My job is looking like it might be perfect. Right now its a lot of build up (and sort of boring build up at that) but I wrote my first update for a school website the other day and watched it go into production with some lame excitement.
4. I skipped class last night (because of #3 combined with #1 on the negative list above) and made myself tacos. First time I've had a real, made by me meal in...months.

Maybe steer clear of me for a few weeks?

A goodbye...

My first cat, the cat who changed me from only a dog person to a cat person (with the dog part in the background) is being put to sleep today. She is 17. I love that cat, although for the past year I have slowly been letting go as her age was starting to show. So here's my little picture tribute to Allie (lovingly called fatty by some, and binker by me)...all pictures will become larger if you click on them (and in a new window)...

Allie and I bonding when she was just a wee thing (a month and a half to two months old) and I was a green-faced blond about to turn 8.


Hanging out in a box....


Back when she was young and spry, rafter climbing...


And now, her glamour shots (courtesy of S).
Looking dignified....

And here she is, in her last days, roly-poly, about to fall over...


I'll miss you catty....

Letter of the week...

Dear Barack,

I heart you. I heart your email. I know, I know, it wasn't only to me. But it said Dear Katie at the top (personal touches. Genius).

Yes, I was sucker enough to sign up for your myspace style website. And in the end I am glad I did, because it was fun to get an informative Iraq email from you.

Love,
Katie

PS - I just want to show off to you, you know, make you proud of me...so you'll be happy to know that I am now 75% compact fluorescent (I couldn't change the other 25% because of complicated glass lighting fixtures). I'm saving the environment. Are you proud of me Barack?

Thoughts on Wednesday...

For about 10 minutes there I thought it was Thursday...and Thursday thoughts is SUCH a better title for this post. But oh well.

• I do not trust people who constantly drink energy drinks. It feels...somehow trendy and shallow to me. I'm sure they don't taste good - so why do you need the energy? Go to sleep or eat properly and get energy the natural way.
• Happy Birthday Pooj!
• Obama....his Hollywood event...I've read some bitching and moaning out there (why should Hollywood matter? Why pander to them? etc). First: he's fundraising and they have money. Second: no matter how much we wish it wasn't true, people do listen to Hollywood....people read gossip mags (self included - although my US subscription did lapse and I'm not missing it all that much)...Hollywood has power. Even if it makes no sense that trashy, skinny girls and self-righteous actors have an effect on the masses, they do. Because some people don't care about politics and only get their political news from scandals (the Dixie Chicks) or from crusading actors (George Clooney etc.).
• Why is it that, although I do consider myself intelligent, I constantly want to call a medical prescription a subscription and I always want to call a magazine subscription a prescription? Clearly there is a slow cell upstairs...

I hope you all are enjoying the weather...this is the kind of winter weather I enjoy...

Radiator debacle of 2007...

My apartment is currently shrouded in plastic drop cloths. There is a man hammering at the wet, warping wall by my radiator. They took out a piece of pipe (which was supposed to be connected somewhere and pulled out too easily). They are currently pulling out the entire radiator.

Nothing good can come of this. I may just keep updating you for a few hours to come....

Update 1.0 (10:30 am): Currently they are sawing the shit out of a pipe....causing me to go deaf. Holy shit is it loud. And the radiator is totally away from the wall - completely unattached.

Update 1.1 (11:00 am): They seem confused. They are leaving. "We have to figure out what to do". Wall and radiator are not joined...there is no longer an On/Off valve (there is no longer a pipe connecting the radiator to the wall, just a gaping pipe hole in the wall). Apartment is getting a little cool...possible inability to attend work (I don't want to leave this mess/let these men run amok while I'm not here). I look like the biggest work skivver in the world...

Update 1.2 (11:54 am): My apartment smells really, really bad. They are now talking about scraping all of the ruined wall off. The ceiling is probably 20 ft high...ladder talk.

Update 1.3 (12:35PM): The workmen are on lunch (and have been since noon). While they were away I took a look inside the gaping hole in the wall. I immediately began to imagine big rats and spiders crawling out of it since that is the kind of hole it is. Mona is uber-curious and I don't feel comfortable letting her near it (remember, she is dumb and will lick anything). I hate the hole.

Update 2.0 (3:37pm): Sorry for the lack of update, I was busy using my downtime doing homework. And I was banned from the couch while the workers scraped the shit out of the wall. They JUST left, the heat turned on two minutes ago...and guess what? Radiator leaking all over the floor now. Before...just leaking into the wall...now, leaking onto the floor. LOVELY. I have called the landlord again and hope someone will be back any minute now. Plus, when the heat turns on, it smells like cooking chemicals...so I'm slowly being poisoned.

Look:

Red. Box...

I'm not sure I want to call it the red hot box anymore since the questions aren't all that hot...

would you choose to be the worst player on a winning
team or the best player on a losing team?

My first thought is that I'd rather do whatever needs to be done by myself. Team mentality is sort of lost on me - I was never athletic and therefore my only experience with teams has been in school. And the school kind of team is entirely different - a sports team...if you lose...it's just a game (although I think some would beg to differ). In school...if you lose...doesn't that mean you got a really bad grade or failed? And that grade can have an effect on you, individually, forever (your possible employer/college will ask for your transcript). So with school, unfortunately, there is an "I" in team, there are a number of "I's". And it doesn't work.

But let's pretend that I'm playing sports - I think I'd rather be the bench-warmer on the winning team. Because then you can have a party with your team and be happy for their accomplishments. This probably has something to do with the fact that I am not very competitive. I think people that have something competitive in their nature would rather be the best at what they do, even if the team is bad...

I have a headache and a boatload of programming to do. I am not having the most exciting of weekends...although I did meet with my group member (decided he is a low-talker) and have a laugh at the expense of my other group members. That was fun...

Twosies...

Two posts in one day, two letters:

Dear readers,

I like comments. But, when you leave them anonymously...it'd be great if you left some hint as to who you are (since I assume the last 2 anonymous comments were from people I know who just don't have blogger accounts). First letter of first name...helpful...

Katie


Dear Grey's Anatomy (spoilers below),

I have been gung ho Grey's since the beginning. I thought that you know, you had the drama and the medicine....and that was enough. But it's getting a little hokey now here: Vegas weddings, drowning lead characters, burning/blown-up ferries. Erm...couldn't you just stick to the relationship drama and throw in weird medical shit? It's getting a little sensational for me...

Katie

Why I am at home and not at class...

Because I am a class-skipper. I have always been a skipper. I think maybe most of you out there don't realize just how much I skip class. Here's how it happens:

1. I start to get feed back from homework, tests, etc.
2. I realize I am getting/most likely going to get an A.
3. I grow complacent.
   

And there you have it. Plus I had a good day today and I didn't feel like ruining it by going to class. I'm going to blurb you today - flit from topic to topic at random.

First, anonymous that left a comment on that last blog post - are you a cousin? I think you are. You and the sister can fight over who gets to borrow the games first after I start winning them (since I should be receiving the package at the beginning of next week).

Today, at work, I finally got to spend a chunk of time with my new co-workers. Usually I sit in a room with 5 cubicles by myself (3 of the other cubes belong to people, it's just that they are rarely around - one is part-time and the other two spend time on other campuses often). I think I'm going to call my co-workers the "generics" since every single person (self-included) in my new office has the most generic, normal first name in the history of the world. Honestly. I'd list the names but that feels wrong, so just take my word for it. Either way, I like these guys - they are totally weird and cynical. It's led me to believe that all computer people of a certain age range have the same sense of humor and I fit right in to it. It should be fun.

So I love my friends (a lot really). But I'm starting to believe that no matter how much I want to be a good correspondent/pen-pal, it's just impossible to keep sending snail mail after snail mail and never getting a response. I keep berating myself - I should want to send them all letters, give them love - I shouldn't do it and need anything in return. In theory, I feel that way - but it's like if I was constantly leaving detailed voice-mails and never getting a call back. That wouldn't be ok, right? So, constantly sending real mail and never hearing back (since these are usually real letters, they have actual content)....it's like you can only give so much...you know? I'm still going to try to send cards every now and again, but I guess it's time to come to the hard-realization that having a "correspondence" requires 2 people...so friends, I heart you...but expect less mail...

Now, I'm going to go enjoy my good mood, watch some Ugly Betty (being home on Thursday night sure has it's perks!) and waste time that I should be studying by working on...nothing!

My nerdy roots...

I don't really know how most people in my age group were introduced to computers, but my Dad had computers around the house from the very beginning. I remember playing old school horse racing games (with blobs for horses). Jones in the Fast Lane (ah the memories). But particularly I remember King's Quest. I yearn for games like that (because yes, I still heart a good computer game).

And I just found out...they re-released all of the quest games compatible with XP. I can't decide if I should buy it (it's $20!) and pretend it's a Valentine's Day gift for myself...or if I should let it rot on my wish list (there are a lot of reasons to do that - the most important being that if I have the games around, I'm going to want to play them. Which will decrease my productivity about 75%).

There is also a Space Quest and a Leisure Suit Larry compilation (good stuff!). I remember sitting and watching my Dad play those games (probably for hours). Maybe that's why I'm the computer nerd I am today....

I cannot resist....

I'm hating my group members today. And I mean just utter frustration and hatred. One of the members of my group is foreign (not sure from where) but English is not his first/native language. He is in a graduate level web development course and doesn't know basic HTML (not to mention ASP.net which is what we program in). So, in order to give him a chunk of work, we assigned the budget/technical specifications to him (a "deliverable", we get a list of requirements to fulfill). I just got three emails from him (10 minutes in between each one). He doesn't know what it means to host a website. He basically asked us to explain basic web site development/technology. I got angry after reading the first email (in which he asked us to define every single word in the requirements).

Then I laughed hysterically (maybe because my anger has made me hysterical or maybe because his email is so silly) at his next:

I'm having a heart attack, here.
Choice of ISP service and the rationale for this?
I feel like a living thing from an outer space.
and again, if you send me any info, I' ll be very glad.

Living thing from an outer space? Maybe not so much that as NOT QUALIFIED TO BE IN A GRADUATE LEVEL COURSE ON WEB DEVELOPMENT. Some of you NOT in grad school for web-site development even know what ISP means and what an ISP does. And if you didn't, you'd know enough to at least wikipedia it.

Then he sent me a personal email apologizing for all the questions and asking me to point him towards detailed information (part of the deliverable WAS research based, which, as the non-programming member of the group, he should do). He ended each email with "I'll be very glad".

What a frustrating weekend. Dealing with the computer crash (downloading and installing everything I needed took hours...and then more hours) and horrible, useless group members has eaten away my day. Maybe Sunday will be more productive...

Obamania...

I can't help it - I want Obama to be it. I want him to get the democratic nomination. I want him to be the democrat I get to vote for. I know there's a lot of sort of derisive talk out there that he's running on his "celebrity" and such....but...who cares? He's charming - he's got me hooked. He seems to be genuine - and if he isn't, he's doing a damn good job of putting that front on. I think he's got that charisma that JFK or Bill Clinton had (who, by the way, I would have been all over if I'd been alive/of age). I guess I'm a fickle politics follower - I fall for the charismatic.

And it doesn't hurt that so far, I agree with almost all of Obama's politics.

I don't mind Hil, but I think I'm slowly going to get tired of her. I know she's full-steam ahead and right now, the most likely nominee (but I'm hoping that having an early lead is actually going to be a hindrance. Think: Bears, Superbowl).

Either way, I'll be watching closely. I may talk politics a little more on this blog...(although I probably still won't be any kind of expert...or even all that well-informed. All. Personal. Opinion. So, if your opinion differs, let's try to keep the comments nice and not nasty - I don't want to go back to the time when I was getting such mean comments that I thought about closing this blog down).

Box...

should the individual or society be of primary importance?

Erm. A question that is requiring me to think. And on this day, day of christmas tree taking down (yes, finally I'm going to do it) I just don't feel like thinking. But here, I'll give it a shot:

I think it probably should be a healthy mix of the two. You can't live for what society needs all the time (after all, society could use an injection of smart babies - but I'm not going to have a baby just for that). But at the same time, if people did what they wanted all the time, there'd be serious trouble (what, global warming? nnnooooo.)

I'm not intelligent today. I'm in clean the place mode. If it actually gets clean around here it might be a miracle.......

Oh, and Boku's eye is fine.

Not a happy post...run away...

Today has already started on a few bad notes (which means hopefully, that I'm getting my bad luck out of the way before starting my new job in 40 minutes).

First, there is something in Boku's eye. Like a hair, or a yarn fiber, something like that. It mainly looks like a piece of my hair. It's right on her eyeball. I can see it when she looks at me. I have no idea what to do. Right now, I'm just hoping it'll be gone when I'm home tonight. It doesn't seem to be bothering her. And I'm not going to call the vet in a panic because I know they'll tell me to bring her in. So...if it's still there tomorrow I'll call. Stupid cat, had to get something stuck to her eyeball today.

Second, I just noticed some damp/stains in my closet ceiling. Will it never end? Friday I noticed my living room wall was bubbling and the corner of that wall is all stainy. I guess my upstairs neighbor (different than this guy) turned all of his radiators off, causing a steam back-up and thus a leakyness. Leaking all down my 15 foot ceilings (20?). Then my computer crashes. Then my pipes freeze and the maintenance men leave a HUGE mess (along with a piece of a t-shirt on the floor - that's weird right?). Now it looks like my upstairs closet has something leaking into it as well. Sigh.

But at least I get to leave for work 25 minutes later than I did just yesterday. And I'm already joyful at missing rush hour packed trains....because I'll never be riding at rush hour again. I'm trying, trying to look at the bright side here....

Letterinos...mini-letters....

Dear snow,

You are beautiful, fluffy, sparkling, soft...I want to lay down in you and snuggle in for a nap. I don't know the last time I saw such light, sparkly snow. If I didn't have my boots (see next letter) I would be annoyed by you....or even dislike you. But as it is...I loooove you.

Love,
Katie

Dear boots,

Yay! You finally saw some snow!

Love,
Katie

Dear self,

Pick a damn yarn already.

Love,
Katie


Dear do-gooders,

Go. Do good.

I'll add my....tiny, minuscule donation just as soon as I get off my fat ass and get my credit card.

Love,
Katie

Dear maintenance man,

Thank you for de-freezing my pipes. Now, next time you enter my apartment, try to leave it as it was when you first came. Leaving the bathroom door closed upstairs? Not fun for a girl like me (paranoid) to open (there could have been a lurker back there).

Love,
Katie

Dear Incubus,

...sad face....I wish I was going to your concert tonight (especially to see you, Brandon). But weather has thwarted me (or truthfully, thwarted my concert companion - the brother). I could go alone...but I don't relish the idea (general admission). I was lucky enough to fall into free tickets. Now I was unlucky enough to not use those free tickets.

Love,
Katie

Dear work,

Thank you for being nice about my leaving. My last job? My last day was just like any other day. This job? I got a cake. And sometime soon, I'll get a going away lunch (it was postponed due to my boss' frozen pipes - frozen pipes all around)...

Love,
Katie

There's beauty in the breakdown...

Is there? Really? Right now I wish I could see it. Yesterday (besides sort of watching the Bears breakdown) my computer crashed. Not just a sad little crash, but a full, needed to go through recovery, lost all my programs crash. Luckily, due to my back-up, I didn't lose all of my documents. But I still have to go back and reinstall my programs...which is going to take hours. One of my programs requires 6 CD's. And the computer that crashed is my school computer, so I lost one homework assignment (but luckily didn't lose the code behind it since that was already on the school's server) due to the fact that my back-up was a little older than a day.

Oh, and when it crashed, it took my new iPod down with it. So while I'm sure I can go ahead and reset it...I hate that I have to. And who knows what music stayed on my computer?

Not a good start to my week. Or my February really.

And I have to go traipsing out into the cold. Sigh.

Update: after the iPod's battery died, it came back to life with all of my music intact. Hooray.

Project pick yarn...

I'll keep this tidy: I'm knitting myself an afghan. I'd post a picture of what it will eventually look like but I'd need to scan it and blah, blah, I'm too lazy. Basically my problem now is choosing a color. There are 23 different colors to choose from and I like a bunch of them.

So, if you please, go here. Then just tell me the name of your favorite color. Please keep in mind that it will be for my living room and my living room is full of red. Deep reds.

Thanks!

Erm...hot, hot...hot?

which is more important: the respect of your children or your parents?

I could see how this would be interesting if you were asking...say...my mom or dad (hey parent with the blog - you should go for it!). But since I don't have kids, and don't have any plans to ever have kids, there is only a one-way answer here.

I think this one is tricky...because if you don't respect your children or parents, why would you want their respect? And I am in no way speaking of myself...but it's easy to see how if your mom or dad is...crazy...it wouldn't be all that important to have their respect.

I'm still committed to the red hot box...but maybe I need the "Girls Night Out" edition (it exists). Then I can do hot pink box of questions...(because of course the girls edition would be pink cards). So I'll put it on my wish list and hope that either of the parents decide to buy me presents for their birthdays (um, yeah. Not going to happen). Maybe Valentine's Day? Or...maybe we'll have to wait until Easter. Or until November for my birthday....

HA HA - Great News!

So. Harry Potter has been in the news a lot lately (what with Dan Radcliffe's 17 year old naked photo shoot. Not dirty, for a play. In case you're out of the loop, see picture here).

But, I think the most exciting news of the year so far is....HP and the Deathly Hallows on July 21! Mark your calendars kids - Harry's gonna die on the 21st!