This post is about my lady parts, detailed tidbits, so consider yourself warned.  

I shouted an expletive at the doctor's office today.  It slipped out with a couple of ouches and noises of pain.  Because today I got an IUD.  There's a devilish part of me that wants to put a medical drawing here of an IUD in a uterus, but I'll restrain myself.  The copper paragard T is in my womb.

And let me just say that it was painful.  And my body was confused afterwards (still is).  So here's the run down.  If you don't want details, stop reading.

Basically it was 4 stages of painfulness.  I'm on the table, speculum'd up.  I get cleaned out with iodine.  She warns me that my cervix is closed tight.  So, in order to dilate it, she pokes it.  That's right.  She poked it.  Didn't feel all that great, but it didn't necessarily hurt.  That's level 1 pain there.  Then she clamps something on to it (I believe her explanation was "I'm going to clamp something now".)  I don't know why.  Maybe she needed to keep it open.  I forgot to clarify at that point.  The clamping burned a little, so pain level 2.  Not the worst, though my doc, at this point, was astounded that I didn't even flinch.  Then she needed to measure my uterus to get the IUD sized correctly.  And this my friends, is what I'll call pain level 4.  I guess I wasn't expecting the pain, but I did say (in a very low shout voice) "oh shit ow ow ow ow" as it was happening.  It felt like the end of the world in my womb.  Like she was stabbing it with a knife.  Incidentally, my uterus is size 7cm.  Pain level 3 happened with the actual insertion of the IUD, which she claims should have hurt the worst.  Maybe I was ready for it at that point, but while it hurt a lot, I grimaced and breathed evenly and didn't feel the need to shout.

The immediate aftermath was intense.  I think my body went into a mild version of shock (maybe the surprising level of pain did it) so I started shaking, I got insanely hot and I felt like I might puke all over.  I also felt a little off-kilter.  Some of those things lasted only 10 minutes.  Some came with me on the train home.

Right now I'm having waves of weirdness.  I just feel like there's something off in the lady parts.  For chunks of time it's hard to get comfortable.  Sometimes I feel completely fine and just feel a bit full in that area, like a normal menstrual thing.  I'm having some cramping off and on too, though it's not nearly as bad as some of my worst period cramps.

I went with an IUD, and specifically with the copper one, because I just got really tired of the hormonal side effects of the pill.  I tried switching pills to see if maybe that would help, but then it's just a new handful of side effects.  I'm super hopeful that this is going to be easy, crazy effective birth control.  Something I never have to think about.  From everything I've read, it sounds like the first six months can be interesting.  So I plan on sharing here.  Part of the reason I started researching IUD's is because of Lena Chen's experience, so I feel like I should behave in kind and write about mine.  Only with more gory details.

This doesn't fit here at all, but the deck is going up and it's going to be awesome.  Getting rid of the janky enclosed porch was definitely the right decision.

Phew, I've been meaning to write pretty much every day since the last time I wrote.  One of those posts was going to be about how I am broke, one about how I'm having some issues with some extra poundage around the old belly but the house is making it impossible to go to the gym regularly, one about how contractors are idiots, one wondering how one goes about selling a hot tub, and so on and so on.


Apparently being a homeowner is taking all of my brainpower right now.  But I feel lighter lately because it's almost over.  Loml and I will have a house - right now loml, I and five random men have a house.  


And the reason for finally writing this post is to say - we're moving in to the basement this weekend.  Or some of our stuff finally will.  I cannot wait.  And here is your final tour.


Our jelly jar stairwell.

Looking into the basement (I'm standing on the bottom stair).  Yes, I am in the process of doing 80 loads of laundry that have been overflowing the hamper.  Basically you're looking into the second family room here.

The bathroom, sans vanity top.  I ordered the vanity top yesterday, it's the basic "generic" top from the vanity company.  So.  Same company.  Pretty sure it's not going to fit.  The sinks are not going to fit in the holes correctly.

The toilet nook.  The nook is to the left in the picture above.  That is a fancy japanese toilet.  It has a button flush on top, you can chose between a small flush and a serious flush.  Saving the environment...

This is taken standing in the toilet nook.  That is my lovely shower.  There is a little seat to the right in the shower that you cannot see.

The bottom of the stairs is right to the right there.  Looking back, the "stripey" door used to go on a cedar closet, so that's cedar you're seeing.  That door goes to a bedroom/loml's gear room.  The nook on the left is going to be shelving.  Except, we need perfectly fitting shelves.  Good idea construction foreman, lackluster follow through.  Door on the right is storage.

The family room/loml's room basically look like blank rooms with this same flooring.  It's pretty lovely.  And also really dusty.  There's the laundry buzzer, gotta go grab those sheets and make the bed.


After this weekend, open invitation to you all to come over.  The back porch has been ripped off the house and the deck is going up quickly, so here's hoping we'll be planning an open house housewarming sometime in the next few weeks.