Ground control to major tom...

A helicopter just landed at Children's Memorial. I hear it about once a month although I'm sure it comes more often. Every time I hear it so close I can't help but worry about the occupant. Because if you're taking a helicopter to the hospital, you're in trouble. And in this case, you're just a kid. Really a little sad.

I can't really think of anything else to say. Can't wait for the weekend. Hopefully I'll be more human once the "cold" front comes through. What cold front only brings 80 degree weather? Half-assed cold front, I could have gone for some 70's.

Why not?

The shallow end...

Ok, so I'm almost out of the jet-lag funk. Almost. I'm still tired. I think it might take until this weekend for it to go away.

My sissa's friend, Tim, is now a blogger. My sister has been shamelessly promoting it, and that's not what this is about. I just want to say: Tim, thank you for making me feel stupid. I do enjoy his site immensely, don't get me wrong. But then I start thinking and I am just ashamed at my lack of knowledge with the news, politics etc. I have some strong opinions about many of these things, but I think I must be a little shallow. Because I get bored with the news. It's always the same, death and stupidity. I wish I could figure out a way to challenge myself to speak intelligently about that sort of stuff...but I don't think I have it in me.

On a totally different note, I think I've come up with a gimmick for a romance novel. The worst part of this is that I thought of it when I had little to no brain power. On the Kennedy, zombie-like on my way back here from Geneva yesterday. I guess next step is to get some plot points down and then go for it. I also heard on that drive that in order to achieve ones "goals in life" you should take five steps toward it each day. I think I'm too sloth-like for five steps, so I'll take one. That was my one for today.

Did anyone else notice that it's only 17 days to Harry Potter? That's two weeks people. Oh man....Ginny + Harry = love. You know, they're what 16? It wouldn't be unheard of for wizards to lose their virginity. What would the world do? I think someone would assassinate J.K. Rowling for tarnishing young minds.

Mahalo...

The vacation is over. I am seriously tired (I've been awake for over 24 hours straight now) and getting to that weird jet-laggy no mans land. If this begins to not make sense...oops. I'm having concentration issues. I don't want to go into how great or beautiful Hawaii is (because it is) or how relaxing the vacation was (because it was), but two other things.

First, I noticed on this particular vacation that it was a lot of quiet time. I was never alone but time at the beach, in the car, on boats etc. was mostly spent reading or watching scenery in silence. I'm very often quiet during my "everyday" life, but I'm usually alone. It was pretty nice to be quiet and with people. I got back to my apartment and felt really lonely for the first time in a long time. I mean, the cats are alive, but they're just cats. I don't know, it's probably jet-lag induced, but I really don't like the loneliness.

Second, I noticed that I can be kind of mean-spirited. Sort of a terrible character flaw. Everything and anything I saw provoked barbed thoughts. I voiced maybe two of them, but honestly, it can't be good that I think so negatively. I'm going to have to work on that.

And so I'm back. I'm going to go sit on the couch and stare mindlessly into space. I have to stay up as late as possible to get onto a normal sleep schedule.

And now it's time to say goodbye...

In honor of the long-term absence (I will return on June 27. Whether or not I blog that day...well that's up in the air) I'll do this meme and then go back to getting the apartment ready and making sure the cats don't suffer.

1) My uncle once: heard I had a boyfriend (5th grade) and never let go...I get asked about Ben at every family gathering...

2) Never in my life: will I live without an animal again.

3) When I was five: I got my ears pierced. Crookedly. Thanks Aunt Sue.

4) High school was: full of fun and teen angst. Oh those dances...I miss them.

5) Fire is: perfect for a beautiful fireplace in my new condo or brownstone. I wish...

6) I once saw: a dog with shoes.

7) There’s this woman I know who: is never afraid to "seize the moment."

8) Once, at a bar: I fell off a stool while making out with a boy. He fell too. Oops, parents are you embarrassed? I wasn't. We laid on the floor laughing.

9) By noon I’m usually: tired of work and hungry.

10) Last night: I went to dinner with my sister/S and then came home and ironed.

11) If I only had: more time to do what I really want to.

12) Next time I go to church: hell might freeze over. (well said sissa)

13) The best thing about my last relationship was: um..wait, what last relationship? I can't remember it was so long ago....

14) What worries me most: Wait. What doesn't worry me? (again, well said)

15) When I turn my head left: Boku is staring at the floor and Mona is attacking the clothes bag from the cleaner

16) When I turn my head right: messy, messy desk and a boring blank wall.

17) You know I'm lying when: I don't know what my tells are. I fumble my words maybe?

18) What I miss most about the eighties: hypercolor. I think i've mentioned that before. Oh and when rollerskating was cool. Stupid blades stole skates glory.

19) If I were a character written by Shakespeare, I’d be: Uh, the shrew from taming of the shrew? I don't know my Shakespeare very well even though I've read a lot of it...

20) By this time next year: I will be hunting for condos and hopefully finding something I can afford.

21) I have a hard time understanding: stupid people.

22) You know I like you if: I make any sort of effort at all. A letter, a phone call...anything.

23) If I won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: my mom.

24) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: Uh?

25) Take my advice, never: try to eat all the taco meat left because you won't have another chance before you leave for vacation. Bad move.

26) My ideal breakfast is: cinnabon.

37) If you visit my hometown, I suggest you go to: Cocoon. My old haunt and like A says, very cool store.

28) Why doesn't everyone: just live and let live. Oh cheesy, cheesy meme.

29) If you spend the night at my house: you may have to sleep naked. It is hot here in the summer.

30) I’d stop my wedding: if I found my fiance screwing another girl. Just read a book where that happened. It came to mind.

31) The world could do without: George W. as president.

32) My favorite blonde is: I don't think I go for blondes...

33) If I do anything well, it’s: sit.

44) And by the way: i may forget to send any postcards. I'm bad at that.

45) The last time I was drunk, I: threw up the next day? It's been so long and I did that constantly at the end of senior year, so good guess?

Bye suckers, see you when I get back from paradise....mua ha ha ha.

She says she has no time....

Ok, so the silence is broken. Not even a day later. My break really held strong, huh? And no I am not caving to the peer pressure you pressurers. I broke my silence for two reasons: Michael Jackson and belly buttons. How about belly buttons first?

Belly buttons fascinate me. Many roomates have seen me sit in a lazy stupor and play with mine. Gross? Ok, but a little quirk that I don't even realize I'm doing. I learned today that they can also disgust me. A girl was running down the street in a bra and shorts. I kind of understand because it is ungodly hot, and if i ever considered running, I'd need to run naked in this weather...so she was just next best thing to naked. Anyway, her belly button was all aquiver as she ran past me and it was a)huge b)scary. I would not bear that belly button for the world to see. Most of us have a little round one or in my case a slit in my belly. She had a huge round foldy thing. Sorry if you do too, but ew.

And I wouldn't be bothered to comment on the trial except someone at my work had me thinking. She said "Oh thank god. I thought that poor boy was going to be charged with everything." And I thought, well isn't that just the problem? He is a GROWN MAN not a "poor boy" or "child." He should therefore act his age and not be having sleep-overs in his bed with other people's children. I'm not saying he actually molested anyone, who could know? But the whole situation is a problem. I found myself wishing it was like Judging Amy and she could not charge him but demand he go to counseling or something. You know, "i'm not convinced you're guilty but you have some serious problems. Go get help."

So to all you that are glad that "poor boy" was innocent, maybe you should take a good look around and wave at your common sense. It's quietly walking away.

Oh my...

This weekend did not go as planned. Do they ever? I did end up buying loads of warm weather clothes for the upcoming trip to Hawaii. I also scrubbed every inch of this apartment. Other than that, nothing. There was an art fair I desperately wanted to go to but plans fell through yesterday and today I am not feeling so great.

I don't know what is wrong with my body but food does not stay in for the intended length of time. That's about once a week where I'm feeling unable to leave the apartment. Not good odds. Since I'll be in Hawaii for over a week, lets hope it does not happen there. I'm off on a plane Friday which is why I really needed to get stuff done around here this weekend. It doesn't feel real. I'm not excited because I guess I'm in vacation denial. Plus I hate thinking about leaving the cats here for a week and a half alone. I know, they'll survive, but it still sucks for them.

I'm getting pretty bored with going on and on about me. Aren't you getting bored? I don't feel like I can be intellectual like my sister often is or discuss current events in a satirical manner. Maybe I'll take a two week break starting tomorrow from blogging. I'll see how I feel this week...

Ya da, ya da da....

That title is old lady humming. Before I post more color book info, this is not surprising (Harry Potter quiz):

You are Hermione Granger! You may be a
study-aholic, but you have a grip on reality,
and sometimes your friends need a reminder of
that reality. You are level-headed in a crisis,
and care very much for your friends. You are
popular with teachers, and don't always make
friends very easily. However, when you do make
a friend, you and him/her are next to
impossible to seperate. (Update: took the picture out because it was scary.)

Which Harry Potter character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ok, on to color book stuff. Here is the actual book that Liz chose. Now, I've randomly selected 3 pages. Some were easier to get a picture of and some looked funky. Plus I tried to choose three very different ones. I almost posted the whole book, but I thought I didn't want to take away people's ideas. Most pages are a two page spread. I also decided to post Liz's introductory page. Here you go: random page 1, random page 2, random page 3. Getting the idea?

Any questions out there, I can answer em. I really, really want random people involved. But I don't think any randoms read this....oh well. We're up to six. Welcome Al!

Coming soon...

Color book update: I am going to post some of Liz's color book in web links so that if she does read this, she can restrain herself and not push the links and therefore not ruin the surprise. For the rest of you, it will give you a good idea what this is all about. I'm going to do it tomorrow I hope.

Also, Katy, we have taken your suggestion into consideration but think 1 week is too little. We're thinking 3 weeks time limit. Does that seem ok?

Here's who's signed up for sure so far:
Me, the sister, Katy, J (red-headed college friend) and Scott.

All of you out there, Katy, J, Scott if you know anyone that might enjoy this, let them know they are more than welcome and then let me know. My sister and I are scraping every last name from our address books. We'll get enough people...oh yes, we will.

Color book project...

So Scott asked for details on the color books and since I'm trying to find people to do the project I thought I'd go public with my explanation. Ok, so first, no, you do not have to know everyone involved well or even at all. The one I'm doing right now I don't know more than half of the people. Friends of a friend.

Basically it works like this. You choose a color or idea (some I've seen: nature, powder blue, beach, black & white etc) and buy a scrapbook you like for everyone to fill. Since this would have to be a mail thing, the book should be relatively easy to ship. Plus, you're in charge of the shipping for your book (you supply stamps or money and inform the people how much to put on envelope/box for each shipping), so if you choose a huge one, you're screwed. At the beginning you fill out a sheet about who you are, what your idea/color scheme is etc. This page will have everyone's name and address on it. When you're ready, you pick a name on the list and send it off. When that person has finished, they cross themselves off the list and send it to someone who isn't crossed off. Eventually it will get back to you. The one I'm involved with now is probably taking an entire year. Someone has to be in touch with everyone so that if anyone moves it can be reflected on the sheets. In every book I've seen, the owner did their own first page, but I don't really think that's necessary. I think maybe it helps with the "vision" of the book.

Basically you can do whatever you want within the range of the persons color scheme. Although branching off does happen. For example, if my color is pink someone may think pink and lime green and go from there. I've seen magazine cut out pages, drawings, really anything you can think of. I always end up using a lot of glue. Maybe just because I like glue...

Does that help at all? I'd post some pictures of what pages look like, but the only book I have is Liz's and there is a chance she reads this site. I don't want to ruin the surprise for her. Anyone is welcome and we have to have more than 6, so right now its only my sis, me and Scott (if you decide you'd like to do this). So obviously, there is no project right now. But if anyone out there is interested, let me know....

For lack of anything better to do I'm blogging again. To be honest, my stomach really feels gross and I'm really tired, so I'm not motivated to do much or I could spend my day doing something fun.

I had a really un-settling dream last night and just thinking about it makes me a little upset. The dream itself was actually a really good one, not a nightmare or anything. But it was about one of my oldest guy friends and this actually happens every now and again, I just miss him fiercely. Not like the ache of a lost friend (although I have that for others) but the longing of something great that just got lost. There are a lot of lost guy friends (and girls too) in my past, so some of you are probably thinking of one person and some another, but I think you would all be surprised at who I miss the most. My sister has talked about lost friends often and I pretty much always agree with her. Sure it's not as sharp of a loss as a "lover" but I think it's just as long of a grieving process. And all of my past friends (and of course present) I loved completely. I'm not one to go half assed, which is probably why I have a lot of lost friends (because once it became a half-assed struggle I quit).

Anyway, I don't know why the dream was so hard or why it's stuck. He and I were far too different to stay friends and I don't even know what I'd say if I saw him tomorrow. I'm sure he probably doesn't even wonder about me. I guess I just have a hard time letting go.

Damn...

So I'm a total slacker and decided not to go to work today. I am seriously in need of this vacation coming up, I feel a little burned out. That isn't the reason I stayed home, but honestly, I think it was probably somewhere in the back of my head.

So the air conditioner didn't do nearly as well as I had expected. There is SERIOUS cold air coming out of it, but then disappearing. Plus, it was off for hours last night (while I slept) because the water bucket was full. Since it's running on high to bring the temperature down from 82, the water bucket needs to be emptied every three hours. I expect that to go down eventually, but right now its a pain. I figured it would get much cooler if I stayed home so I could empty it every three hours.

I've also come to the conclusion that my body can no longer handle real food. One of the drawbacks to dieting I suppose. I've already cleaned a bit and paid all my bills so there is very little left to do around here. Except finish Harry Potter.

Ode to the air conditioner...

Oh sweet, sweet cold maker. I love you.

This desk area is too hot. Off to the best room in the apartment, the newly airconditioned bedroom.

Back pain...

Before I go into my back pain, can I just say that I really love Lincoln Park? Ok, I will. I really love it here. The antique fair was a little bit of a bummer because there was "cover." $6 to look at antiques I will never buy? No thanks. But the jazz band was nice. Whenever I walked out the door this weekend jazz music followed me for a block or two. It was almost like having a soundtrack...

My mom and I went to an open house. It was a $380,000 condo that was actually quite big and charming. Beautiful old built-ins...too bad I can't afford that for another five years or so. Ah well. We also saw a lemonade stand that had a "strings" serenade. There were two girls, one of them on some string instrument making "music" the other selling the lemonade. Very amusing. Lincoln park...i don't know, it just fits.

Now for the back pain. When I was reading my sisters blog list meme, I was a little surprised by one of the questions I would answer yes to. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, not so costly and there would be no scars. But not to fix myself, to reduce myself. And herein lies the back pain. I just slaved over my friend Liz's color book for about 3 hours. My one page is wonderful and shows the work, although the other which took nearly half the time really looks...well, simple. I do love this color book project and I'll be a little sad when its over (although i am impatient to get mine back. When, when when!). Maybe I should try to find 10-12 people to do another one...the only thing is: you must have the time and the money. Anyone out there interested?

Disjointed day...

At work this morning I started out in a bad mood...and I don't know how or when, but all of the sudden I was in a good mood. So it's been kind of a hypercolor day. Does anyone remember those shirts? Why did they stop making them?

I have two thoughts right now:

First, my friend Alex and I have often debated about whether or not one person can truly change the world. Let me be honest here, sometimes Al and I argue and one of us is taking a side we actually don't agree with. Just for the sake of a good argument. That seems strange but it works. I think on this subject both of us actually do "have a side". I believe that only when we work together, in groups, can anything truly change. And Al thinks that one person can change things. I guess mine is more pessimistic? I was thinking about this in relation to one of DMB's new songs...honestly, I have no point to blog about it...i just wonder if my belief is pessimistic. Isn't it optimistic in the worst way? That we all have to hold hands/have harmony in order for things to work? That sounds lame.

Second, I've been toying with the idea of taking an art class for ages now. I used to love art (think grade school). There are thousands of adult drawing/painting/ceramics classes in the city. I really have no excuse not to do it. But I'm afraid. This is something I think I would really enjoy and what if I walk in and everyone is drawing these beautiful bowls of fruit and mine is a bunch of shaky lines. Really fear is holding me back which is so weak. And maybe shaky lines could be beautiful?

By the way, I refuse to take that liberal conservative quiz. I'm liberal.

Was supposed to be short....

1. Memes cannot be owned. Therefore I see no need to give permission to let someone else use it.
2. 7 people have searched the words "assess my boobs" and come to my website. Assess my boobs? Does this mean they want to look at my boobs and then give them a grade? Or do they want their boobs assessed? Weirdos.
3. I am almost cheerful for having had such a weirdly bad week. I finished my class (and passed although I can't wait to see what my percentile was) so now it's just work. Work until Hawaii. Oh man I am ready for that vacation.
4. I semi got scolded at my lunch the other day. My underwriter told me I have an attitude sometimes (um, hello, who doesn't? I'd be devoid of personality if I took all the shit I get at work and came out smiling all the time). Her complaints: I forget to put her name, as in Katie for underwriter. I do, I forget. But at this point, everyone knows I'm her assistant. It's like she thinks I'm stealing her thunder. Which in a small way I think may be the problem, because right on the tail of this she went into how people are always saying how good I am. #2: I guess one of the file clerks complained about me. And this is a valid complaint because honestly, this file clerk has a pea for a brain. My name is Katie. Every time something says Kathy (there is a Kathy at work) she gives it to me. At first, I was nice. But I've been there for almost a year now. If your job is file clerk you have to know how to read. Katie. Kathy. Different. I'm tired of it. So I give her attitude constantly because she constantly is asking stupid questions and giving me stuff that doesn't belong to me. So OK, be nicer to her. Maybe I'll try. Maybe. But here's the worst: my underwriter tells me I have to suck it up and be her assistant because she's "gotten me just where she likes it" and she doesn't like that she has to train someone else. I hated the way she said it, like she molded me into her perfect little assistant. Like I'm not a smart, decision making human being but a robot that she has programmed to perfection. I hated that. It was belittling. So I gave her attitude and said I'd help her new assistant along the way as much as possible. And so the thing went in a circle and I still have attitude.
   
5. The worst part about that whole thing is that almost none of the stuff I got scolded for was an actual issue I need to work on (except for the being nice to the peons thing) and yet I feel guilty. Like I've messed up and now my path to being an underwriter is going to have ten times as many hurdles and take 5 years.
   
6. Harry Potter is the best. I'm on book 4 and I remember how I hate doing anything else when I'm reading these books. Even sleeping, and I love sleeping....off for the bed for some more Goblet of Fire.