katie + blog = fun?

2012-02-19T18:45:00.000-06:00

Ah, Sunday. I just spent my day being the most domestic kind of gal - I did laundry, I tidied, I vacuumed, I cut up a pillowcase and tested my sewing machine tension and then I cut out 72 two by two inch squares. I have 48 more to go. Then there are a few bigger squares...and then I'll make my first go at quilting. I'm pretty excited to see if it works at all. If it does, I'll have some potholders that really don't match my kitchen (but made with fabric I really like). If it doesn't go well, on four out of four potholders, I'll be pondering another investment in a class at Lill. Fingers crossed everyone.

In other news, I dipped my toe in to the world of wedding dresses and came out with this information:

I'm not sure who a full skirted dress would look good on...but it's not this girl. It adds so much volume and I look like a marshmallow.
There was a dress in the store that did not fit over my hips. While I do not pretend to be a small girl, I am definitely well within the average range of sizes. I wonder how many of those dresses sell.
My general idea of what I want is close to what looked best on me. So that's a win! But I still have no idea what I want to wear...
Except that I do not want to wear a veil. I did quite enjoy the tulle blusher/birdcage though (not the traditional birdcage). That was one decision I did make.

Off to await the pot pie that loml has been constructing for a large part of the day. Does anyone else find that a recipe preparation time is generally half the actual time needed?

2012-02-10T22:25:00.002-06:00

Hey! Remember when I wrote a post about my sewing class and how I had sewn a rectangle? Well, since then I made a whole bag. And graduated.

To be fair, there was no graduation. But I think my bag kicks ass. It's reversible too! It was pretty difficult to get a good picture of it, I have 20 pics of me wearing it in the hall mirror. And all of them are big piles of suck.

I really liked the class and have a few follow up projects planned. A couple of them are just straight test projects - I need to learn how my machine works (we used Singer's in class and I have a Brother). I foresee some tension issues. So I'm making fake curtains from old sheets and a bunch of totally random old sheet projects. Anyone need something made out of an old sheet?

The other project is from an awesome book I got for Christmas...a few years ago now: Dare to be Square Quilting. I'm going to start small and try to make some potholders. Loving textile crafts.

2012-02-07T11:38:00.002-06:00

I've officially had my first terrible etsy transaction. (To be completely honest, I have a second kind of bad one also happening at the same time, though this second one does appear to be the fault of the USPS).

When loml and I discussed marriage/engagement/rings, I asked him if he would wear an engagement ring as well. He is promising the same level of commitment to me that I am to him, so if a ring = ownership, then we own each other. He agreed, we found a ring pretty quickly on etsy and I purchased it. This was on December 5.

The store in question had a stated 3 week lead time. Though she was also, at that time, not taking any orders to be fulfilled by the holidays (makes sense as they were basically three weeks away). So I was imagining getting a ring some time in early January. We still have not received it. That makes almost 9 weeks.

I emailed the seller multiple times: through etsy and through her normal email (you receive the seller's email in the invoice when you place an order). I never received any response at all. Not even an "I'm behind, so sorry, it will be 4 more weeks". I started to research the situation and the seller had closed a previous store for dubious reasons ('split business' though making the same rings + new ones?). And it appeared at the old store there were quite a few disgruntled customers. So now I have no ring, I'm out a substantial amount of money and it appears this seller is...not all that reliable.

Next step...researching etsy's issue reporting. They have a "non-delivery report" which is basically a mediator - etsy sits in the middle and tries to resolve the issue. However, since I paid via paypal, the only way to get a refund is to go through paypal. Which has a deadline that issues must be reported prior to 45 days post purchase. 45 days had passed. So I open a non-delivery report. The issue mediation says it can last up to 5 weeks - I figure after that time, I can go to paypal and beg for my money back.

Three days after my non-delivery report, I got an email from paypal that my item shipped. And a few hours later, a sob story email from the shop owner that the holiday season was tragic for her family, she asked someone to help her respond to emails/they clearly didn't, etc. I feel heartless now giving her a negative review, but I think I have to. She non-responded to all my emails, which were sent after her store had reopened (she closed/didn't take new orders for much of December). Even if you are behind, a 3 minute email explaining would have done wonders (and you clearly can write emails as your novel of an apology attests). I wouldn't be disgruntled had I received a new time estimate. She could have written a quick form email and sent it to all her waiting customers - and clearly it was necessary.

Because this review just showed up in her shop:

I placed my order November 30, 2011 and paid for this ring. It is now Feb. 6, 2012. I have yet to receive this ring for my husband and I have yet to receive a reply to my emails on when I can expect this order to ship. I was told back in December it would ship within 5 days. My husband really loves this ring and I was really hoping to have it by now.

Worst customer service experience I've had in a long time. And I imagine the ring is going to be beautiful. I guess this is a lesson many people never learn: no matter how good you are at your job or the quality of work, if you don't sell it/treat people well, you may as well be producing crap.

2012-01-22T09:53:00.001-06:00

I have figured something out about myself - there is a very big difference between being creative and making things. I very much love to make things - but I need patterns. I cannot pick up yarn and suddenly have a hat - I need to be told how to do it. I am a maker, not a creator. I think, 5 years ago, I would have balked at this. But now? It fits, I love the distinction. And I can stop pressuring myself to be a creative type. I'm crafty, not arty.

In my sewing class (First Time Sewing at Lill) we are making a messenger bag/purse thing. So far I've learned a bunch of different seams/hems (rolled, french, straight, blind), learned how a machine works and cut out 16 pieces of bag from fabric of my choosing.

Piles of cut fabric on the right, sewn fabric on the left

The only bit of productive sewing (besides trying out all those seams and hems) I've done so far is to sew the pockets. And really, I just prepared the pockets to be sewn on to the bag (they are just flat pockets, but lined on both sides).

Here are my rectangles! Grey corduroy on one side, green pattern on the other.

At this point, I love this class. Even though I spent three hours tracing, cutting and then measuring/marking hems on these pieces, it was my kind of three hours. I think I might be a sewer. Seamstress seems too formal/skilled for what I'm doing, but sewer? No, I am not a place where dirty water/poop collects.

2012-01-15T21:50:00.003-06:00

Back in December, loml and I got engaged. We picked out the ring together but he surprised me with a real Christmas tree and a ring under it. To be completely fair, I was in a super crabby mood that day and had been a bitch to him all night. And then when I saw the tree and got the ring, I danced around like a little kid. I'm so excited to officially be signing up for the long term with loml. And even just typing that makes me smirk - what a fitting nickname that has turned out to be...love of my life.

I want to be better about posting in the new year, but I clearly can't give myself deadlines or make promises to myself about how often (as you can see from my two New Years Day posts and nothing since). So I'll just promise to try.

I'm currently working, working out regularly, taking a sewing class and planning a wedding. There hasn't been as much down time as I had hoped...2012 starting off busy!

2012-01-01T21:07:00.000-06:00

20 done, 12 to go.

From curious doodles, screen printed tea towel do-it-yourself embroidery kit

2011-12-29T15:47:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year!

I lost track of time during the holidays and therefore left behind at least two Disney posts. I can summarize one of them in one sentence: I am a hotel snob and like a really good bed/pillows/bathroom and Disney moderate resorts does not provide that. End post.

The second post is the pintrading post. Disney has this fantastic gimmick - you wear a lanyard covered in pins around and you trade with park employees who also wear the lanyard. I have a really hard time putting in to words why this is fun. I researched it prior to our trip and decided against participating - it was just too intense. See here. Loml and I chatted about it occasionally and I ended up just deciding not to invest in a lanyard and pins to start me out.

And then one night in Disney, loml showed up at dinner with a pin for me. And it snowballed from there. I ended up with this:

The spaceship earth mickey pin is where it all started. All things considered, I probably spent...$40 or $50 on pins. That's right - Disney is GENIUS. I bought a bunch of "starter" pins and traded all of those away. In the end, I have only 4 pins here that I originally purchased - loml's spaceship earth, the mickey and goofy nerds and the Epcot christmas pin at the very bottom (it spins!).

It took a full day to get up the nerve to actually ask a cast member to trade a pin (I was scared out of my mind). I found an old man, told him I was a newb and he treated me with love and tenderness.

Eventually, loml fell down the rabbit hole with me - he fully researched the world of cast member only pins and helped steer me in my trading selections. I ended up with 5 "hidden mickey" cast member only pins - the two "bowling pins", the two weird eye license plate princesses and the weirdest of them all, Aurora's quote ("Okay, okay, I get the point"? Pin pun?).

Scoping cast pins was fun and the pin gimmick is just my kind of gimmick - hands off unless I take the initiative. It really is amazing to me how Disney can find something for every range of ages to drop money on. And I will do it again, next time I'm in the parks.

2011-12-28T13:15:00.000-06:00

Cat bliss = warm radiator on a cold day.

Katie bliss = real christmas tree with a ring under it.

2011-12-10T09:21:00.001-06:00

I'm a bit hampered by what to even start talking about with regards to Disney World. So I'll just start. I've been quite a few times and I plan to go again. As kids, Disney, for us, was a super special vacation, I went twice in my childhood. It's funny, I don't remember too much - I remember having an autograph book. I remember a real live duck visited the porch of our villa at least once. I remember a character breakfast that was Aladdin themed. That's about it. Those trips were awesome for me as a kid.

And I aged with a hearty appreciation of Disney still. It's pretty amazing what they do there. And on this trip, we took the Keys to the Kingdom tour. The tour where they don't let you take pictures while you go "backstage". We went into the tunnels under the Magic Kingdom. I learned a lot on that tour (like the fact that those tunnels are fairly small and packed with stuff, while golf carts buzz through full of maintenance staff). It takes a lot to keep the park running/clean (including a trash machine where they put all the garbage, it gets shot to a backstage location and processed). I'm not sure what else to say about the tour except that our guide Sean clearly loves Disney and at the same time was realistic about it (seemed like he had bad feelings about Eisner). On several occasions we met people who had been working at the park or their attraction since it opened. Loyalty.

Really, when you compare the cleanliness, staff and decor of Disney with Universal Studios - it's no contest. Disney wins in every category. It's hard to go there and not feel happy.

That being said...loml at Disney was something. He didn't like the pace or lines or the food (which, kind of a given, most of that food is mass produced fare). He felt the vacation was too long by several days. And he napped hard every day. But I think he liked it more than he expected. He was dreading long lines and we rarely waited in lines of any real length. The longest we waited was 40 minutes, for Toy Story Mania (good ride, worth it). After that, I think most lines were barely any wait to about 15 minutes at the longest. It was, really, a dead time of year. I think the lines were a big dread factor for him and once that was clearly not our style, he lightened up. He even said he'd go again...though he said probably only for a few days and then he'd leave. That's success if you ask me...

2011-12-05T19:59:00.001-06:00

Ron Weasley and I were in love last night in my dreams (not Rupert Grint, Ron Weasley) and so now seems as good a time as any to talk about Universal. One of the most exciting parts of our vacation was our plan to visit Universal parks (both Studios and Islands of Adventure) to see The Wizarding World of Harry Potter for the first time. And to put the cherry on the top of the excitement, my Dad generously offered to send us in style - VIP Tour style. What this meant was that we walked around with a guide for 7 hours and she let us in the exit of every ride. We skipped every line. Even the wand experience line! It was pretty fabulous and we were on the receiving end of a lot of questioning glances...and one or two dirty looks. Really, most of Universal was fun, but it's really not so...magical as Disney. I highly enjoyed almost all of the rides we went on and feel like ET is the classic, lovable ride that I remember while the Simpsons was the new break out favorite. But who cares about that.

Hogsmeade! It was really everything I had hoped. They did a fantastic, fabulous job on it. Some pictures of the buildings and such can be found at my brother-in-laws iPhone blog here. In particular, Hogwarts. I don't want to run through everything, so here's just my main feelings:

It just FEELS like Harry Potter.
Dueling Dragons/Dragon Challenge is too adult for what Harry Potter is all about. I didn't know this at the time, but apparently that's just a ride that was already at Islands of Adventure re-concepted for Harry Potter. The new concept sort of works, but the coaster just feels out of place. Big Time. That being said, even if you don't want to ride the coaster, go through the line. That sounds stupid, but there was some fantastic stuff to look at in that line.
Flight of the Hippogriffs = kiddie coaster that lasts literally a minute. If there's a wait, this is not worth it at all.
The Forbidden Journey was awesome. Cool ride mechanics, neat story, you're in Hogwarts! Though, I do have one bone to pick: MUGGLES CAN'T SEE DEMENTORS. Again, the stuff to see in the line is fantastic, so even if you don't want to ride, go get in line.
Butterbeer is insanely sweet. I kind of liked it but I don't think I could have had a whole cup. A few sips was enough.
The Three Broomsticks felt true. Different styles of chair, lofty, wooden, just...awesome.

Verdict: Awesome! Love! So glad I went!

I should warn you that these Orlando vacation posts will only get nerdier, so if this is too nerdy for you, watch out. I'm about to go way down in your eyes as far as coolness goes. Being cool is pretty damn stupid when you can be off having fun instead. Like these HP nerds:

loml + katie + hogwarts express = awkward picture of two slouchy nerds

2011-12-04T21:26:00.001-06:00

I have Disney posts in me and I can't seem to get them out. I suspect this is because the beds in the Disney compound inhibited my normal 8 hours of sleep. The bed was hard, the pillows not great and my back, chest, arms, legs, all eventually got pretty knotted. I also had some pretty bruised/blistering feet by the end. This led to cranky time and the need for recuperation.

Disney world is not relaxing.

2011-11-29T14:44:00.001-06:00

I'm in Disney World right now which is why I suddenly stopped blogging. Loml, my mom, my sister and her husband all along for the trip. My brother is gonna show up in a couple of days to join the fun. I am pretty sure I have a few Disney posts in me. But I am mostly writing because I have realized how much I love showers.

Sometimes on the weekends, if i don't shower, I am crabby all day. A good shower just sets my mood straight. Hot water. Massage like. Brain emptying. I need that time to myself. I just took my second shower of the day, because if i'm sleepy or worn out, a shower just makes me feel better.

So I wonder, with the importance of showering in my life, how I came to be with loml. Who got made at me when I asked him to shower yesterday (he smelled) because "that's not vacation!". Opposites attract.

2011-11-25T12:49:00.001-06:00

My holiday yesterday was spent with loml's parents. They are awesome and I'm super comfortable with them. Except for one thing. Farts.

Apparently dinner made both loml and myself gassy (and one would assume his parents felt the same way). We were all just hanging out in the living room. And I heard a fart. A pretty rumbly though muffled fart. This crossed loml's mom off the culprit list because she was sitting in a wooden rocking chair.

And then I smelled it. And let me tell you, that was one thick and pungent fart. All I wanted to do was comment on the horrifying smell - but what if papa loml had done it? And I embarrassed him by commenting on the purtridness? But what if he thought it was me? In the end, no one said anything until I got into the car with loml alone. It belonged to loml. Which means it's highly possible his dad thought it was me.

NOT IT.

Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T09:21:00.001-06:00

I hope most of us feel thankful more than just one day a year- but I love that we all are kind of forced to do it on this day, together. I hope you all take some time and list out the things you are thankful for, even if only in your head. This post is probably going to veer into the sappy so if you are cynical, step away. I am thankful for:

The people I love.

Loml. Two and a half years ago, I jokingly nicknamed him the love of my life. On his suggestion. But even then, I pretty much knew. He makes me laugh every day. And almost every day I say to him, we are so lucky. To have found each other and have this life we have. We are so lucky.
Family. You don't get to choose them, but mine are pretty fantastic. We're all so different, it enriches my life to have them around.
Friends. I have a fantastic support system, these people are the best.

My job. With the economy the way it is, I am glad that I can go to work everyday doing something I enjoy at a place I mostly enjoy. Knowing how a lot of people feel about their jobs (mostly hate), I am thankful that I enjoy it most of the time.
This house. When you buy something so big and life changing (30 years of my life, life changing), you hope that a year in, ten years in, 30 years in, you still love it. And this home of ours, it still feels right. I love it.
Mashed potatoes. I made these yesterday to be eaten today and they are insanely good already. I can't imagine after they bake covered in butter. I am so excited to eat them.
Disney World! We're going on vacation to Disney in a few days and I can't wait to hang out at the happiest place on earth.

Really, I'm thankful for my life. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope you enjoy good food and good company.

2011-11-23T14:32:00.001-06:00

Today I realized that I almost never think, when creeping around on someone's facebook, "wow that person has gotten fat". I can think of actually only one instance where I remember thinking that and it was about a dude.

But I frequently, almost regularly, think that someone has lost way too much weight. And these are almost always ladies.

I don't know about you all, but to me, skeletor is much uglier than a pleasantly plump care-bear. No one wants to see or touch your bones ladies.

2011-11-22T21:08:00.001-06:00

Every day for the past week and a half, I've come home and tried to check one thing off of a to-do list. This to-do list does not actually exist. I tend to come home from work and sit slothily on the couch and watch a lot of TV and play a lot of flash games. I think this is a perpetual cycle of tiredness and inactivity. I'm tired after work every day so I do nothing and then I'm tired and depressed about how inactive I am so I feel tired and go to bed. Then I wake up the next day tired and come home tired, etc. So I'm stopping that.

Things that, in my head, there is a checkbox next to:

Knitting at least a few rows (one row doesn't count)
Cooking a real dinner
Playing with paper to try to "design" a Christmas card. This has been a hopeless pursuit for days. Until tonight! I think I have my card designed. Though you should know I went with super simple this year for my first trial at this
General craftiness

Things there is no checkbox for:

Writing a blog post (whooops, missed a whole chunk of days. Fail at nablopomo)
Watching TV
Flash games
Reading books

Besides the blogging, all of those uncheckbox items are things I will do every night no matter what. So they don't qualify as getting anything done.

It's feeling pretty good to check a box every day. Even if it's a fake box.

2011-11-19T22:00:00.001-06:00

Finding something to talk about every day is starting to become an issue. It's not that my life is boring (though it mostly is) but that the things that I find interest in aren't good blog posts. Or I don't want to talk about them here.

Tonight I learned that Valentine's Day was not a great movie. And that I am tired in the same way I am on weekdays when I have an almost normal morning routine (book club fairly early this morning had me up and showered). This exciting blog post brought to you by: happily going to bed at 10pm on a Saturday.

absolutely nothing.

2011-11-17T19:21:00.001-06:00

Two of the last three books I read during my epic reading journey (the Time 100 list + librarian recommended books before you die) were set in World War I. Both involved trench warfare and the horrors of the front line. One was from the German point of view, one from the English. Both fascinating, gruesome and really depressing.

Birdsong was kind of surprisingly, a lovely love story. It was also about family and really, the word I keep coming up with is love. There were some really dark war filled sections of the book but it fit and felt exactly what I imagine war feels like in anyone's life - uncomfortable, uncertain, dirty, dark.

All Quiet on the Western Front was really just a war novel. I walked away struck by the book - I really enjoyed it and at the same time, didn't enjoy anything about it. The novelist was a veteran of the war, so I can only imagine that the harrowing story, while fictionalized, is also taken from real experience.

Recommend them both. Really liked that I read them within a month span of each other as well.

sparkle peen

2011-11-16T11:26:00.001-06:00

Twilight. Yes, this is going to be about Bella & Edward. I have read the series and while it may be passe to say so, I ripped through them quite speedily and enjoyed most of my reading time. If you haven't read them (or seen the movies) you will find better uses of your time than continuing on here.

That last book though....I started to feel uncomfortable with the whole thing. Controlling boyfriend/husband, abstinence, really passive and depressing girl who only wants to be exactly like her boyfriend (I think of this as chameleon syndrome), weird baby/werewolf plotline involving, essentially, pedophilia. I'm sure if I kept trying I could think of more. I felt a bit let down, maybe even disgusted.

Today I read this (please read): http://thehairpin.com/2011/11/our-bella-ourselves

And while most of my horror is not even discussed here, it does make me think about Bella a bit differently. The argument is that Bella's depressing and creepy chameleon syndrome and her obsession with Edward is just a girl teenager issue. Everything relationship just seems amplified when you're 16/17/18 and at the same time you have no idea who or even what you are. It's why we no longer look kindly on people that get married that young. At that age, you're just swept up in your own emotional drama that you can't truly figure yourself out. Bella might suck, but she sucks in a way that most teenage girls suck, which is why most teenage girls like the books.

The comments, too, are interesting. I mostly expected people to be very negative (Twilight + a community of ladies = a certain brand of feminism SCREAMS in horror). Turns out it's mostly just a discussion of the articles good points and maybe not so great ones. It's like 16 & pregnant. Romanticizing something that isn't great for youngsters (chameleon syndrome/controlling boyfriend/teen pregnancy) isn't something I'm a proponent of.

Pedophilia, abstinence and controlling boyfriend are still a large, hideous Twilight issue for me though.

Do do do do do, do do...

2011-11-15T17:47:00.001-06:00

I went to the DMV express in the loop to get my license renewed today. I turned 30 and just completely forgot that this forced expiration on my license (thanks for the reminder Al). I was thinking about it as I was getting my picture taken - from 21 to 30, my license was renewed with a sticker. This assumes that I looked exactly the same at 21 as I do at 30. Seems completely ridiculous. I mean, I assume when I'm 39 I will look older (probably fatter too). In the end, this license picture is so much better than the last. I looked way more baby cheek fatty at 21 than I do at 30. I think the key is to smile with no teeth. Teeth on a license = too much. That's my new hypothesis.

Other new hypothesis - when you write something bad on your blog everyone will assume it's about them.

As a side note, that DMV, even with a 15 person line at lunch, is quick! I think busy periods are probably the best time to go as they had 5 clerks available. Fantastic.

2011-11-14T19:34:00.001-06:00

A few months back I was reading something that linked me to Fosterhood in NYC. One day I nearly read the whole blog, the archives, everything. It was amazing and inspiring to me that a peer of mine in a city decided she could do this thing alone - foster a child and be a part of their life for as long as possible. I think it's really amazing and fantastic. And overwhelming.

I have briefly flirted with the idea that this is something I want to do. I'm not certain I do but I'm not certain I don't. I feel like the foster system has this reputation for being full of crappy money grubbers who take kids in to get money from the government and don't provide actual care. People are capable of a lot of love...why not share?

I really am ashamed at the quality of this post. That's what happens when you have to post every day. But I really do think fostering is neato. The bomb. Someone take this blog away from me now.

battered?

2011-11-13T07:58:00.001-06:00

loml tried to punch me last night. kind of.

I was dead asleep. I woke up to him kind of holding down my shoulder and...pushing his fist into my face? Not punching me exactly, but it was weird. He was up on his knees in bed. When asked what he was doing he mumbled incoherently for a bit and then said "moving the piano". And then he laid back down and was silent. We don't have a piano.

To be fair, we both do this. A lot. I don't know if anyone else has sleep conversations or sleep adventures with their partner, but we do. I guess sometimes when loml makes loud noises as he gets into bed, I have conversations with myself.

2011-11-11T22:05:00.001-06:00

I'd like to put this here as a record of an agreement between loml and myself.*

Cat boku loves him and has slowly come to regard me as a second prize. Not as exciting. Runner up. I caught loml trying to convince cat mona to feel the same earlier. This would be devastating to me, mona's one true human love. And so, if loml convinces mona to love him more than she loves me, I get a kitten!

*He didn't technically agree. But come on, this is clearly obvious and logical.

2011-11-10T18:58:00.001-06:00

One of the things that has really been hitting home for me in the past year or more is how often something I believe about myself or about my relationships turns out to be not all that true. Sometimes in a good way and sometimes in a bad way. Alright fine, more often in a bad way. It's not that I'm delusional or anything, I just think I'm a sugar-coater sometimes and overly optimistic.

An example from today: I was explaining my relationship with someone to a third party, explaining their life, etc. And I slowly realized that everything I was saying sounded pretty terrible. I don't want to go into specifics here, but it kind of became clear that I have very little in common with this person and that a part of me doesn't respect their choices. A few years ago I probably would have talked myself out of this or come down really hard on myself for not being kind or charitable or empathetic. But today I just thought, wow, our lives really are that different and I really don't know about those choices. And I didn't accuse myself of bitchiness, I just let it sink in that this relationship, like many, might not be what I thought it was of what I want it to be.

Ah realism. Being friends as we get older just gets harder. It's about common threads and there are a billion different threads out there - the probability of finding a match just seems so low. I used to be hard on myself for not having a lot of friends, but at this point, I feel fortunate to have the close friends that I do.

loml's post

2011-11-09T21:19:00.001-06:00

I just asked loml what I should write about and he said:

how you feel fat
women's empowerment

That seems like a weird pairing except those were two of our main topics of conversation today.

Fat: As I was sitting on the toilet today (I know you want this mental picture) I realized that my pleasantly rounded belly was now more of a roll. And my chin fat, second chin, waddle, whatever your term of choice, is really much bigger than ever before. Because I am much bigger than ever before. I don't like not liking myself, but I just feel heavy. Not even heavy as in fat, heavy as in, I feel like a walking exhausted ball of lead. So I have to do something about this. I don't want to buy new pants again (since I've already bought bigger pants twice in the past year). Time to eat less and get moving.

Empowerment: loml for a while today was obsessed with Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook. And linked me to this article which includes her TED talk and a short article about how the author was inspired by that talk. My reaction was something like "what if my foot has never been on the gas pedal?". Because to be honest, I'm not all that ambitious or motivated. I like my job, I like doing a good job, I wouldn't mind finding other ways to do my job well in other avenues. But I don't plan on ever being a COO. I don't even know if I want to be a manager someday. I've been on cruise control since I graduated college, why would now be any different? But I do think Sheryl has some fantastic points. The TED talk is definitely worth your time, so wander on over there (they fix the sound a few minutes in).

2011-11-08T19:30:00.000-06:00

Have you ever watched 16 & Pregnant? I hope you say no. I feel bad about life/teens when I watch this show. I don't really want to support this show. And yet, I have watched it multiple times. And the only reason I'm admitting this is because I watched an episode that was really good.

It was a night where there was nothing on TV. Tivo had suggested the show so I could watch it commercial free. And so I sunk to its level and played it. Little did I know it was one of the very few episodes where the 16 year olds decided to give the baby up for adoption. And wow, it was intense. Their parents didn't support them in it which made it harder. The couple that adopted the baby were super supportive and wanted them to be involved. But wow, the journey of actually giving the baby away was heart-wrenching.

I do not like this show, I think the idea of glorifying teen pregnancy is troubling. But that episode was a really honest portrayal of a bad situation. I recommend that one episode for anyone that is curious about the show, but doesn't want to see stupid teens have babies that their parents have to support. Be prepared to cry (probably much more likely if you have a uterus).

watch it here

2011-11-07T19:12:00.000-06:00

The night of the party, I wrote a really fabulous blog post...in my head. It was some kind of treatise about couples. About settling and chameleon couples, about how loml and I wonder about everyone's relationship after we observe them in the wild. But I can't remember that post and I'm fairly sure it had no point and may have been mildly insulting to a lot of people.

I do wonder if anyone else discusses the dynamics of other couples in the same way we do. How their lives and communication are confusing, how it works, how it doesn't, etc, etc. Maybe we're creeps. Over-analyzing, judgy freaks?

party people...

2011-11-06T10:21:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, after everyone left the party, I came on my computer and almost wrote a post. Then realized it was already 1am and I wasn't getting the "every day in November" merit badge even if I stayed up a little later to write it. I was sure that post-dating was not a thing - but it seems like blogger would have let me do that. Now I'm planning on being a fake internet psychic...(I will never post date anything, ick)

Yesterday I had a 30th birthday party for myself. Made two cakes, told people to expect to play board games. Around...noon I told loml I was over the idea and why did I ever even want to have a party? During the party I was telling this to my cousin and a friend and he was like - you just don't like fun, huh? And I totally do - but being the point of a party is a bit overwhelming for me. Sociability is not my strong suit.

In the end though, I am so glad I did it. People played games. Enjoyed making their own grilled cheese. Drank bellinis. Ate cake. And laughed and were merry.

I am 30 and have now celebrated that age with a lot of people I love. Thanks everyone, excited about this decade.

It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake..

2011-11-04T18:54:00.000-05:00

I love to bake. This is new for me; I've always liked helping my mom bake, but I'd never actually tried much on my own. And really, in my old apartment, baking would have been impossible. I had exactly one small area of counter space and what you could call a half-size oven. In the past few months, I've taken to full on baking - and it turns out that cakes are fantastically easy and totally satisfying.

Currently there's a Boston Cream Pie cake cooling in the kitchen (filling in the fridge, glaze to come). And tomorrow I'll be trying my hand at a from scratch yellow cake with chocolate frosting.

Satisfying to make and hopefully even more satisfying to taste. Apparently I relish all that is domestic. Except cleaning. Cleaning is the worst.

2011-11-03T21:53:00.001-05:00

There are certain ages that everyone would agree are milestone ages. 16. 21. and then it becomes decades. 30. 40. 50. And a lot of people put a lot of expectations on these milestone decades. I was asked, more than once, how I am dealing with this birthday - like I should be having a big meltdown. As if being unmarried and childless were suddenly the WORST.

But honestly? I'm pretty happy with 30. I've felt well older than my age for a long time. I've had an inner 30 year old for a lot of years. So maybe the next few years will be harder - when I feel younger than my age. But really, age is just a number.

All that being said, I am very conscious of the future. Loml doesn't really like the term "future talks" anymore. But to be fair to my ovaries, I feel like the next couple of years are going to require decisions (to use them or not to use them...).

I am officially in my thirties...and officially close to the age I've been for a while.

10, 20, 30...

2011-11-02T18:59:00.000-05:00

I had this whole 30th birthday post planned that I think I have to postpone until tomorrow. Gradually, as the day has progressed, I've gotten sicker and sicker. Pressure head, sneezing marathons, eye tiredness - it's all suddenly upon me.

At 30, I've never felt so lucky. My friends and family are amazing. And loml is an awesome fit - I couldn't wish for better. He's off on an epic adventure to get me soup right now. I feel cared for and loved; thirty, though starting with the plague, seems like it will be a fantastic year.

nablopo...

2011-11-01T14:55:00.000-05:00

mo? Can I do a month? I haven't even managed a full month of posts this year. A full 13 posts are my 2011. But I seem to do better at blogging given a schedule.

So happy november everyone. My november started with a cupcake, peaked with a personal sized cake made for me by a coworker and will hopefully end with some bulb planting and knitting.

2011-08-21T22:04:00.002-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about home ownership lately. There are a lot of people that talk of home ownership like they talk of their marriages and their jobs: like it's a shackle holding them back from reaching their true potential. Though you have to wonder, true potential for what?

This house is old, it is going to require a lot of money over our lifetime together. But it is also something that I am still super ecstatic about. It sometimes hits me at odd moments, like last night randomly: loml and I live here. We are making this our home, however slowly that is happening. We now have furniture in all the rooms. No unpacked boxes. And lists of plans and hopes and problems. To me this isn't solely a responsibility, it's a hobby. I'm going to put money into this house to make it my own and I'm going to relish it (most of the time).

I think I've mentioned here before that I was a weird teenager - I used to watch This Old House every afternoon and initiated a process to choose nice, wooden furniture for my room. My parents helped subsidize my weirdness - if I paid part of the cost of the furniture, it would be mine as an adult. It is now officially a part of the purple room here. I have always enjoyed this part of domesticity.

The gutters could use replacing. The garage as well. Mulberries. The basement floor is partially ruined already. The list goes on; and sometimes it feels damn good to complain about the problems. But I own those problems, I am happy to put part of my money into fixing them. I'd rather have money to replace the garage than I would a new shirt, shoes, purse, gadget or car. It may not seem fun to you, but it is to me. I mean, what is more fun than seeing and falling for this and realizing there are dozens of places you could put it:

(via Oh So Beautiful Paper, hopefully available here soon)

2011-08-04T22:21:00.000-05:00

I tend to be a non-social person. That's not to say that I'm anti-social; I like a good get-together. And I've been known to enjoy a good party. But I just don't really thrive off of social situations. I am good with one-on-one, good with those I know well in small groups - I just don't like crowds. I am, in many ways, an introvert.

Strangely, I have found that I love it when loml has people over. I love it because I get to watch him doing something he likes and is great at (being social) and I mostly get to observe without participating. It is like sucking in the atmosphere at a no-pressure party. I feel like I get all the benefits of social interaction without having to actually do much. It's fantastic.

fo 1 & 2!

2011-06-21T21:36:00.001-05:00

Yes, it is June and I am posting my first and second finished knitting projects of the year. It took me 6 months to finish a single thing. This:

It's small. Smaller than a baby blanket should be. But I just got to the point where I was done with diamonds and needed to give this to the mom-to-be. She's due in two weeks. So here is a case where it is the thought that counts.

However, I made up for the small blanket. This is possibly the cutest thing I've ever knit, and all for baby Seb (he will be Sebastian Mateo). Immediately following the blanket, in less than a day, I whipped this up:

It's called the umbilical hat. And it was a crowd pleaser - the yarn was right (soft and machine washable) and it was itty bitty. Maybe not so practical for a july baby...but that's beside the point. More to come, much more quickly now that I don't have a baby blanket hanging over me.

2011-06-15T19:50:00.000-05:00

Do I want to buy this? I don't know yet. But since I'm trying to be a more regular blogger and I'm dead tired, this is my effort at content this week.

2011-06-11T21:32:00.000-05:00

Lately I've been feeling like an adult. An adult with a partner, a house, a job and responsibility. It's funny how suddenly, or as suddenly as 9 years can be, it seems I've grown up. That's assuming adulthood begins when you can legally drink. I'm trying not to use this space as a place to vent (wet basement! job frustration! boys smell!), so yeah - all of that, but also the good stuff.

Like gardening. I know it doesn't appeal to some but it is cathartic to me to dig holes and rip out plants and sweat. And this house is going to take a lot of gardening thought over the next few years. I don't think the landscaping is bad - but it is a bit boring. A lot of groundcover and ivy and hostas and ornamental grasses. And one rose bush, which I hate (white roses? really?). I know roses are an art and people worship and cultivate them. But I think they are a bit silly. Give me a rhododendron or a hydrangea any day. There are some lovely hydrangea bushes here in fact. One out of about five seems to have had a bad time this spring, but happily there is one bush that is probably the size of a wine barrel. It is huge and hardy and I cannot wait to see what it brings.

I only planted a flat and three tub plants this year: impatiens in my planters (shout out to my mom, the impatiens lover) and some bigger geraniums in the front landscaping. I mostly just spent my time ripping out stuff I didn't want. If you're not sure about that ornamental grass, don't plant it - because taking it out is going to hurt. I have a lot of ground cover to consider, some bushes to remove and then a backyard to wrestle with.

I wonder if I can manage a very small vegetable patch at some point (and then we'll not eat those vegetables just like the CSA box we've already changed from veggies + fruits to fruit only).

2011-05-18T21:43:00.000-05:00

I have a confession to make. Something that actually kind of shames me. I am nearly 30. It is 2011. And I still use scrunchies. The fabric covered hair bands of the 80's and 90's. The worst part of this is the actual reason behind this scrunchy use. Fine, thin hair + hot as a coal during sleep = hair must be pulled back at night or I wake up with a drenched neck (you wanted to know all of this right? along with the acne?).

Pulling my fine, thin hair back in a regular rubber band was causing it to break, intensely. I mentioned my concern to my stylist and he recommended the scrunchy as a less traumatic hair tie - it cushions my hair so it doesn't break as easily when it's held back.

And so, I've taken to wearing scrunchies when I'm in the house. It will hopefully prevent me from having bald spots in a few years (I predict, if loml and I grow old together, I will be the one growing bald over the years. Sigh). But it can be kind of...shame inducing when people stop by. Don't judge.

2011-05-16T19:12:00.000-05:00

This! I have adult acne, it's impossible to deny it. It's gotten worse in the past few months, one of the things I can blame on being almost 30? I've started a face regimen like a 16 year old (astringent, pimple cream, etc). And when I'm looking the other way, literally in the matter of seconds, I get a huge new pimple. It's ridiculous.

2011-05-15T20:57:00.000-05:00

Hmm, once abandoned, it becomes nearly impossible to suddenly write a blog post. I feel like I should have something profound to say after nearly four months of silence. But I really don't. I just wanted to get the ball rolling again. Watch this be the only post for another four months. Maybe there is something to that feeling that I should have something to say before I post...

2011-01-18T21:59:00.000-06:00

I'm having this weird issue, that I'm slowly becoming aware of: I cannot clean in the house while loml is present. And by present I mean not otherwise entertained/detained. And detained means one of the following: asleep, out of the house, somewhere in the house with someone else, cleaning with me.

Is this super childish of me or ingrained habit? I can't figure out if I'm resistant to cleaning because he is available to clean to so why isn't he doing it? Or if I'm resistant because I don't want to be watched? Or if I'm resistant because if he's not busy I am striving for quality time? Or really, when it all comes down to it, am I just so used to working the cleaning junket by myself that I can't fathom having another human wandering around messing up my pattern?

I think they are all equally likely.

2011-01-17T18:34:00.000-06:00

Journal swap round 5: me

I realize, as I'm doing this, that most of my ideas are neutrals. What I mean is...the idea behind this page was a winter tree with an owl. I wanted to start experimenting more with color though, so I forced spring. And I think, honestly, it was better in my head. But, that's bound to happen quite a bit. It's kind of twee, huh?

I also realize that I'm fairly obsessed with texture. So I'm challenging myself to use a completely flat surface in the future as well as colors.

Let the experiments begin...

2011-01-16T15:43:00.000-06:00

This is the life....

Head on a pillow, on the warm radiator, Christmas tree providing soft/mood lighting...

Good life.

And no, I wasn't watching access, I just hadn't changed the channel yet....

baby gimlet blanket pattern

2011-01-15T19:25:00.006-06:00

This is a departure and not meant for regular readers. Just an fyi.

A few years ago now, I knit a blanket for a cousin's baby. I loved that pattern - which I found on a knitting blog I frequented. Since that time, that blog and its author have all but disappeared. I tried to get permission to reprint the blanket pattern and failed. However, the pattern was printed on her blog for free and I absolutely have no wish to take the credit for it. So, this pattern courtesy of KnitAnnie. The ravelry link is here: http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/baby-gimlet.

All details in pattern are from KnitAnnie and do not apply to the blanket that I, personally, knit. Note that the pattern was written by KnitAnnie, so any "I"'s from here on out are her. Also, she's from Australia, so watch out for metric.

Materials

Any double knit (8 ply) or aran weight yarn would be fine for this blanket, as long as it's soft and fairly plain. I used Cleckheaton Country 8 ply (5 and a bit skeins) in Colour 003 and 4mm needles.

Finished size: 64cm x 64cm before blocking, 75cm x 75 cm after.

Directions:

Moss Stitch: *K1, P1, repeat from * to end

Diamond pattern:

Row 1: *P1, K7, repeat from * to end

Row 2: *K1, P5, K1, p1, repeat from * to end

Row 3: K2, *(P1, K3), repeat from * to last two stitches, P1, K1

Row 4: P2, *(K1, P1, K1, P5), repeat from * to last 3 sts, K1, P2

Row 5: K4, *(P1, K7), repeat from * to end

Row 6: repeat row 4

Row 7: repeat row 3

Row 8: repeat row 2

Cast on 104 stitches and moss stitch for 4 rows. This forms the bottom border of the blanket. Moss stitch 4 stitches then follow diamond patter until 4 stitches remain, moss stitch 4 sts.

Continue as above for all rows until blanket is almost square. Moss stitch 4 rows and cast off. Weave in ends.

(katie here: I ended up doing 17 repeats of the diamond pattern to get a square. Plan for something similar)

Image of this blanket (complete with baby!):

2011-01-13T15:27:00.001-06:00

Journal swap round 5: librarian.

When I saw this, I thought of new beginnings and spring...London and Mary Poppins...I don't know if i can explain those last two. It's also highly possible I felt this way because I received this right around the move. And yes, I've had this book sitting around for months. But I'm finally getting back into it...

2010-12-31T17:30:00.000-06:00

For next year, I'd like to continue to write here every now and again, to keep up with the knitting, to keep loml around. Basically I want a year of status quo - a year where nothing huge happens. I also am already planning on doing more for myself. My first three areas of attack are:

Coding improvements. I'm taking a Ruby on Rails program in winter. I know I code for my living, but I often feel like I don't actually do much coding. Sharepoint sort of stole that from me. And so I'm going to try a few certificate programs and learn some new languages.
Hobby improvements. I'm taking an embroidery class from Lill Street. I've wanted to try classes there for years and now it's on my way home from work. There's no reason I shouldn't try stuff out there.
Body improvements. Since getting the IUD I've gained a shit ton of weight. You go on the pill, you gain weight. You go off, you gain weight. It's all very frustrating. So I'd like to get in a routine where my exercise is just part of my day and I only eat cookies once or twice a week, not every day. That seems doable and will hopefully aid in shedding a few of those pounds.

I hope you all have a lovely NYE, whatever you may be doing.

2010-12-31T00:02:00.001-06:00

I can't believe 2010 is over. It sometimes is amazing to me how quickly and sometimes slowly a year goes. Here's my quick year-end review. I cheated and googled "year end review meme" and came up with this list. I feel pressed for time as I only have 18 minutes left in December 30 to do this for you, so here's my quickfire:

What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before? I bought a house, lived with a boy. Huge things.
Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I looked on my blog, and I made some hobby resolutions, that I wanted to hobby more. And I think I did that pretty successfully. Seven finished knitting projects, with a move. I also stated that I wanted to write here more, which I mostly did. And to keep loml around...and here we are. Sitting on the couch together.
Did anyone close to you give birth?No.
Did anyone close to you die?No.
What countries did you visit?Er. None. I don't even think I left the state last year? Oh my goodness, that's sad.
What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?I am pretty content, though the last question shamed me, so how about some vacations?
What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? URGH, my memory kills me. I want to say the day I signed the mortgage, but I already can't remember it. And I am close to the day we moved in, but again, I think I'm off by a day or two. Date memories are just lost on me.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?Definitely buying a house without completely losing my mind.
What was your biggest failure? I think I didn't do enough for myself still - I wanted to take classes of some kind forever (art, etc) and just never did. I had nothing but time between January and July and did nothing with it.
Did you suffer illness or injury? Yes. For a while there I thought I was dying of some unknown lung problem. I am not.
What was the best thing you bought?HOUSE!
Whose behavior merited celebration? Boku? This is a weird question. Boku is becoming a real cat slowly. Here's proof.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Republicans.
Where did most of your money go?HOUSE!
What did you get really, really, really excited about?HOUSE! (how boring is this becoming?)
What song will always remind you of 2010?Again, my memory really prevents this from being true. I just...don't really have this kind of song memory. Maybe 'Dancing on my Own' by Robyn. Or some other pop number. Like a G6?
Compared to this time last year, are you:- happier or sadder? I hate this kind of question. I was happy last year. I am happy this year. Any happy is good. Why should I qualify one against the other? I think I'm probably the same or happier but meh...
What do you wish you'd done more of?Exercise.
What do you wish you'd done less of?Stress.
How did you spend the holidays?Thanksgiving with loml's, eve with mine, day with both.
Did you fall in love in 2010?Not anymore than already.
How many one-night stands?Uh. Now I feel like it's 5 years ago and this blog was awesome and new and I was doing random memes all the time. Zero.
What was your favorite TV program? I like 30 Rock, How I Met Your Mother, Modern Family, etc.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?No.
What was the best book you read? Hmmmm. I really liked the Hunger Games trilogy. That's the first I thought of.
What was your favorite film of this year? Harry Potter! I think it's the only one I saw in the theater this year.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010? Comfort above style, aka, why don't any of my pants fiiiit (whiny voice)?
Whom did you miss? Hmm. No one?
Who was the best new person you met? Is it weird if i say I didn't meet anyone?
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010. It's midnight. I failed because I can't answer this one quickly enough. Something cheesy about home is where the heart is?

2010-12-29T21:14:00.001-06:00

Yesterday, on the way home from the burbs/zoo, loml was fiesty (probably due to the gigantic pop he had at dinner). He has very sharp elbows and enjoys "dancing" in the car which mainly involves flailing his arm in front of me and elbowing me with his awfully sharp elbow. I had had just about enough and was saying as much, when we had this conversation:

me: GAAAAHHHH. Stop it.
loml: Who would have thought that you would be the one that needed time alone?
me: ME.
loml: Who would have thought?

And even right now, he's talking to me about what this post is going to be about and I want lip zippers to actually exist. Sometimes, as a person used to being alone, I get super annoyed and want to chop off his arm right above his exceedingly sharp elbow. This, my friends, is what happens when you have an easily annoyed person living with someone who is really great at annoying.

I even warned him of my crabbiness: the "plumber" came today from my contractor to look at the basement shower (not getting hot enough). Only it wasn't really a plumber, it was the catch-all man who did various and sundry in our basement. This annoyed me after already waking up crabby. I woke up crabby because I generally sleep with a fan pointed at me at night to cool my 1000 degree sleeping temp. Loml is concerned about the amount of white noise and so we attempted without. I slept, but fitfully. Tossed and turned a lot.

As for the icicle situation, contractor deemed that "ice/snow build up, not diagnosable by him as shoddy work until spring". Even though loml and I both saw the water leaking out of the joint between gutters. Bah. Bullshit.

2010-12-28T23:32:00.000-06:00

Zoo lights! Tonight I finally got to see Brookfield's take on zoo lights. It's pretty much the same as Lincoln Park Zoo, only on a grander scale. And the grander scale was cool and definitely worth seeing. Plus, now we own three holiday Mold-A-Rama's: a reindeer, an angel and a snowman. I love them; they are awesome. The middle fountain in the zoo has trees "dancing" all around it. Basically that just means the lights turn off and on to the music. But it was worth walking by as we made our way around (it was too cold to loiter).

Also. There was this. Love.

2010-12-27T21:37:00.000-06:00

Two brief and basic reviews for today.

One.
This afternoon I dragged loml to see the latest HP movie: Deathly Hallows the first. I was going to see it with a fellow HP lover but movie times failed us. Apparently if you wait a month to see a movie you don't have all that many options. Anyway, I think it was fantastically done. The last movie was OK, enjoyable, but I thought there were too many liberties taken (like the burning down of the Weasley's house which apparently had magically reappeared in the same form in this film). It was also kind of fun to see what questions loml had about what happened in the film: what are snatchers? what year is it now? etc etc. Also, no, the "naked silver twilight makeout" scene was not like that in the book. It is fun to imagine how JK Rowling would have written that though...

Two.
I recently finished Tess of the D'urbervilles. It was a smooth read; I read it and was interested in what was going to happen almost the whole way through. But this book made me confront something about myself: I do not enjoy unhappy books. And I especially don't like an unhappy end. I've thought of a few exceptions to this rule, but overall I'd rather read a happy ending. And while Tess was clearly engaging due to how well written it was, my goodness what a depressing book. What am I supposed to take out of it? That pride prevents people from being happy or that blind devotion does? That having no true faith will lead you to toil and gloom? And really, who would ever say this is their favorite book? That is the part that baffles me the most. Who reads this and thinks, well, it was engaging and depressing but MAN did I enjoy all that time that I felt depressed while reading it?

2010-12-26T19:03:00.000-06:00

What a lovely two days. I hope yours was everything you wanted. And if not that, then better. And if not that, then not so terrible that you were full of hate. I haven't done much of anything today. Read a book. Knitted. Put some things away. Knitted more. Ate leftovers. Made loml try the Kinect with me. Then pushed him out of the basement while I played it and Lego Harry Potter. The downstairs TV just became much more popular. Also, everyone looks stupid playing the Kinect.

Oh, I also wrote an email to my "done with the job" contractor because his shoddy work is causing the icicle of death:

What are the chances that he fixes that? It's his gutter work that's leaking...maybe in a few days I'll have a non-recommendation for a contractor for you all. With a list of everything that we feel was done half-assedly.

Otherwise, I have plans to write about a book I finished recently, my New Year's Resolutions and maybe a quick 2010 wrap up before the end of the year. Anything else I promised that I forgot?

2010-12-23T19:03:00.001-06:00

What a lovely, lovely day. I slept for at least 9 hours last night (there's no telling how long as I was up for a set of hours in the middle having a tantrum at loml for staying up so late). I tidied and watched movies (Big is still an amazing movie. Did you hear about the morgans was exactly as terrible as I expected). I did loads of laundry (if you're ever in the market for a new dryer, DO NOT buy one where the lint trap pulls out of the top of the machine. It causes lint dirtiness everywhere). And I spent hours wrapping presents.

I have two particular favorites this year. It was a good one. Though I feel like I had more presents in the past.

I'll not be even attempting to blog tomorrow or Saturday. So if you celebrate, Merry Christmas! Either way, I hope you have a lovely two days without me.

2010-12-22T21:17:00.000-06:00

It's crazy to realize that I moved in to this house only three months ago. We drove by my old apartment on Saturday and I felt a slight pang of nostalgia, maybe a moment of sadness...but it was only a moment. It feels like we've been living in this house for as long as I can remember (though maybe we have...if we're using my memory as the compass). I think this house quickly became a home. It's not a place I live, it's the place I want to go to at the end of a bad day and the place that I'm most comfortable. I wasn't sure how having a roommate would affect my ability to feel at home here, but if anything he's made it easier. If I don't stop myself now, I'll start writing in cheesy cliches and then next stop, vinyl wall art.

There are weird things I love about this house (the tiny window in the bedroom closet) and habits I can't seem to break from having an apartment. I can't stop stock-piling laundry...I need to do it every few days, not every few weeks.

This is sort of a round-about post. I meant to write about how I want to settle in more next week (I have the week off). To move my clothes into the closet in the basement and start showering down there. And, maybe (gasp) look for a lamp for the side table and a towel bar/holder for the basement downstairs. Big plans! Super exciting! Running low on topics!

2010-12-21T20:38:00.000-06:00

There are some days when I really want to talk about work on this blog. I have almost entirely, if not entirely, abstained from talking about my current workplace on this blog. It is too easy to find me and connect me to say anything at all anonymously. And I really like my job - enough that I don't want to ever leave under weird or uncomfortable circumstances. So here are a few things that I would say openly if given the opportunity:

There is such a thing as dead weight. Firing is not a healthy thing in the workplace, but neither is 50% (or more) of our workers doing, almost obviously, nothing.
Communication, even of stupid items, makes the little folks, the cogs, feel loved. It is a problem if different departments within the same division are given different levels of information. If X department is told all the details of something while Y department is left in the dark, Y will feel bitter.
People can be awesome, nice, great people and still suck at their job.
There is a level of respect that everyone should be afforded. If you get frustrated with your work, it is not helpful nor polite to take it out on your coworker

That all sounds bad, but I really do like my job. It seems that every job has it's problems. My last full-time/real job had more problems with the people than this one...and I have to say I prefer it this way.

***

I now have two completely unrelated side notes.

There are weird adult moments involved in living with someone. Like getting Christmas cards addressed to both of you. I would like it noted, for the record, that I asked loml if he wanted to be signed on to the cards I sent. He said "no. what did i do to deserve that?" And so, my name only. More scary than Christmas cards: the check book that came with both of our names on the checks. We're not even really using it as a joint account. It's more like...a money pass through for rent. But it was still a heavy moment.

I unpacked the board games before the housewarming party and now I want to play. Who wants to join me? Or us? Either way works... I have off all of next week.

2010-12-20T19:38:00.000-06:00

Speaking of traditions....Santa Claus....

I love Christmas. I love the time I spend with my family and Christmas decorations and shopping for gifts and snow and everything. I find it magical at times (fun real mail daily! holiday train! happy kiddies everywhere! wrapping presents with pretty bows!). And part of that magic, at least for me, is Santa Claus. I loved Santa as a kid, I still feel a little bit of joy when I see kids seeing Santa. And honestly, I don't remember being all that distraught when we found out Santa was not real. I have a bad memory in general, so please don't assume I wasn't distraught, it just didn't make a big enough impact to be memorable. I remember other events in my childhood far more clearly (mostly physical pain events).

So here's the thing. Santa Claus is a lie. I know this, you know this, we all know this now. But if I have kids, I want them to know Christmas joy. Is it possible to have the joy without Santa? Loml doesn't want to do Santa Claus if he has kids...because it's lying to your children, it teaches them that parents are liars.

But what about the magic? What shall we do if we continue this thing and take it to a new level involving little ones? Can I give up Santa? Can he lie to his kids?

2010-12-19T10:20:00.000-06:00

It's Christmas cookie baking day! Every year my Mom, sister and I get together and bake dozens of cookies. Actually, it's probably more like hundreds. Hundreds of cookies. This year our schedules failed us and my Mom and sister baked cookies together Friday and Saturday. I was unable to join, so my Mom is coming over today to finish up.

I've been thinking a lot about tradition. What holiday traditions I have, my family has, what holiday traditions loml and his family have...and how to combine them all without killing any. Last year we didn't combine holidays at all. It was just easier and we were new. But this year, I felt really strongly that I wanted our holidays to be shared. Unfortunately, a lot of our traditions overlap...it's been tricky. I think loml doesn't hold much with traditions - but I know his parents do.

It really makes me curious about how everyone does this.

2010-12-18T09:16:00.000-06:00

Aaaaand I flat out forgot yesterday. I went to dinner/the Hawks game right after work and had no time to consider blogging about anything. I was super tired when we got home and got in bed pretty quickly.

Now I'm awake, listening to the glass guys replace the mirror downstairs. There was a weird mark/imperfection on it right at my eye level. I'm basically waiting for the mirror to break into pieces. I can't imagine they can get it off in one piece, can they?

I was not ready to be up this morning. I have been pretty exhausted lately and I'm starting to suspect it's because I am so spectacularly out of shape. I hate to be one of those, but in 2011 I need to get into the habit of being active. I would like to lose a few pounds as well, but mostly I need to get my muscles and lungs back into fighting form. As I'm getting older, it's becoming kind of obvious that my body is getting older and more crotchety. I know I'm still young, but if I don't nip this in the bud now, will I ever?

So...let's all pretend I didn't eat a cupcake for breakfast.

2010-12-16T21:47:00.001-06:00

FO Number eight! Sealing the year up by completing my set. Hat and mittens preceded it.

I made it extra long - the pattern called for 9 repeats. I did 15. I really enjoyed this knit. The cable could be a pain in the ass sometimes (to pull 10 on the cable needle was a bit much) but overall, I loved watching the braid happen. It's super thick yarn and can be looped multiples...and so it should be warm. I'm excited to break this out. Just need a day that isn't so damn cold that I'm wearing so many layers. My nice coat looks sausagy with too many layers.

Also, I'm running out of projects. So if you have something you want to own, of a hand-knit nature, shoot me a note. I even have a lot of yarn that has no purpose...

2010-12-15T21:56:00.001-06:00

Yay, it's TMI IUD time!

But first, I spoke to my doctor today and the MRA was normal. So. I either had pneumonia and the antibiotics did the job, or the xray was wrong, or my lung spontaneously healed itself. Or i just have an anomaly in my lung. Either way I'm not currently dying, as far as I know. So: phew.

In IUD news, I had my check-up appointment. Basically my doc just checks to make sure it's still in there, in the right place. And to make sure I'm not having terrible side effects, which I'm currently not. I'm about to go way tooooo TMI here. But my period was really long. I spotted for a long time before it actually came and then I had it forever. However, the last pill I was on made me have terrible cramps and so far, not a single one with the IUD. I'm super excited about that - cramps are supposedly one of the worst side effects of this little piece of copper. So I'm hopeful that I'm getting off easy. Except for the part where I have to check that it's still in there once in a while. I'll let you know how that goes....

2010-12-14T21:34:00.000-06:00

So I made it about halfway through December without feeling like I need to pull topics like taffy. What shall I say today?

I've started ten different entries, but I'm postponing at least three of them for more appropriate dates. The rest are abandoned to the trash heap. So it's not that I don't have anything to say...it's just not right today. So I think I'll leave it. It's not right today.

2010-12-13T20:41:00.000-06:00

I have a very serious sweet tooth. I have been known to eat cookies for any meal of the day. And even though he has a video on his phone of me eating cinnamon rolls for dinner that he tortures me with, loml buys me my favorite cookies all the time. He supports my bad habits. Santa's favorites are prevalent in this house during the winter. And it is delightful to be surprised with something you love.

Loml and I have been at this, officially, for a year and a half. But even before we were together, I got boxes of Santa's Favorites from him for Christmas.

Part of me wants to stop this post at that - loml brings me cookies when I'm not expecting them. But I promised you all a sappy post. There's obviously more to this than cookies. I mean, the laughs...the laughs from the pushed buttons (mine mostly, but others as well) - I laugh every day. The stories, he tells stories in a really solid way and I've always preferred listening to talking. And of course, there's the conversations. I need to digress here because there is no really good word for chat that doesn't sound trivial or completely cheesy. Gab? Heart-to-heart? Yap? The only one I'm drawn to is tete-a-tete and that sounds uppity. Snobbish. So. We chat and it is good.

He pushes my buttons, I get mad, we laugh and jabber(?) and eat cookies and sit on our asses. It's pretty good.

2010-12-12T13:32:00.001-06:00

Apologies for the missed day. I had planned on posting some time in the afternoon yesterday and then I got all kinds of distracted making sure the house looked well enough for the housewarming party. Thank you to all who came, it was a really lovely evening.

After the party, I told loml we should really get out more - all of our friends are pretty fantastic and I'd like to know some of them better. And he said, "eh, I think they know why we're shut-ins now. Our house is awesome." And so apparently you're all going to have to start coming to us - our doorbell is always working.

But, really, if the party did anything (besides prove that the upstairs will get super warm from body heat while the downstairs remains icy), it inspired me to be really grateful for my family and friends. You all are the best.

And now I will go eat cupcakes, cake, cookies, delicious spicy pretzels, salsa, cucumbers, and pistachios until I feel sick. And then I'll lay down like a big lump and enjoy my Sunday of nothing.

2010-12-10T20:50:00.000-06:00

This picture is really tragically bad. But I'm happy and proud to present FO number seven for the year:

My sister's nuptial blanket. It is possibly the softest thing I've ever created (and machine washable/dry-able). And I did an i-cord border which was new. I tried to take a picture of that and failed.

Congrats sort-of-newlyweds!

2010-12-09T21:47:00.000-06:00

Today I had an MRA not an MRI. Honestly, I'm pretty confused and I have no idea what they're trying to diagnose here. Blood vessel anomaly in my chest x-ray. MRA of my chest area. That's what I know. I don't get results for 2-3 business days, so check back later.

The MRA itself was an MRI but I think they take images differently. I got an IV, though they didn't end up shooting anything into it. So I went through that pain in the ass for nothing. I did find myself wondering if I'm becoming a swooner: when I got my IUD I got really hot and shaky and dizzy afterwards. That happened while she was doing the IV (and moving that needle back and forth and wiggling it while it was in my arm which felt terrible and makes my skin crawl even thinking about it). And now I'm wondering if that hot/shaky thing isn't just the phase right before a faint; maybe I'm only avoiding fainting by sheer force of will.

IV in, I go to the MRI room with my tech, Chris, who was a weird dude. He was a 20 year old in a 40 year olds body. Or else he was aging really badly. He strapped me on to the machine (with 3 stickers/sensors around my heart and a cage above my chest) and in I went. It honestly wasn't bad. The machine had a constant noise beat (like a dance beat) and then all of the tests added to the beat to make a new beat. It was like an MRI song. I found it intriguing. Also, the machine gets hot during some of the tests, which was odd. All in all, fascinating. At times, it was kind of relaxing. Sort of like sensory deprivation except I could still hear. I think it's possible, that if you subtract the IV experience, I kind of enjoyed it.

2010-12-08T22:26:00.002-06:00

There are times when I really, really wish I had an iPhone. Most of the time, I do not care and don't really want you to contact me - I hate phones and cell phones especially. Also, is it just me or does cell phone somehow seem like an antiquated term? Should we be calling everything smart phone or mobile device or...something else?

But when you see the CTA holiday train....honestly, you want to take a picture. Or a video. And that's what everyone does while they smile. Everyone including loml:

Honestly, I wasn't sure what to expect from the train, but I was excited. Very excited. And seeing everyone's face while riding the train made it the most joy-filled 50 minutes I can remember. Christmas music + Christmas smell + low lighting + decorations....it just works. I think, if you rode for a few stops, the full experience may be lost a bit. But it will hopefully convince you to take a longer ride next time.

I highly recommend this Chicago holiday experience, though I wouldn't travel in for it. Just try to catch one near you if you're a Chicagoan. Loml thought it was just as great as I did. Tomorrow's commute is going to be really depressing.

More info on the holiday train...

2010-12-07T18:17:00.000-06:00

Loml is currently yelling at the cat while in the bathroom. Mona views the bathroom as her territory (the bathroom, the purple room and our bedroom) and so wants in whenever anyone is in there. She paws incessantly at the door and moans. She's a whiner and it can be annoying. She also has a bad habit of drinking from the toilet.

Apparently loml gives in to her crying because he just coughed and it sounded like he was in the next room. Which means he was letting Mona lay on the floor in the bathroom while he did his thing with the door open. When I told him I was going to blog about it, he asked why, said she wouldn't leave and then agreed I can blog about it if it's about what a terrible cat she is. Mona and loml enjoy private time in the bathroom together. She's a terrible cat.

***

This is what I saw on Saturday while I was doing laundry. It was quite lovely. Windows are awesome. How did I live in that dark apartment for six years?

2010-12-06T21:42:00.001-06:00

Loml and I have completely opposite schedules. I have the schedule of an old lady (in bed by 10, lights off almost always by 11). He has the schedule of a crazy college student or of a sickly old lady. Sometimes he sleeps 6 hours and then naps during the day, sometimes he sleeps 12 hours straight. He really is a marvel. Anyway, I digress. I always knew it was going to be hard to combine our lives. How do we deal with:

My need for white noise because of his sleeping noises....vs. his need for quiet because the fan is too loud.
My getting in bed early and therefore needing his activity levels in other rooms to be quieter.
His getting in bed later and sometimes jarring me awake.
My burning, boiling late night temperatures make me want to keep the room at a cool -3 degrees vs his need, as a normal human being, to stay warm at night.

Clearly, we're still working on it. When I was sick the other night, he slept in a different bed. And said he got the best night's sleep he's had so far in this house (cue sad face). But, it's probably true. I saw a couple on Oprah (these are things that shouldn't be admitted/put in writing, right?) who have slept in separate beds for the entirety of their marriage. I'm not about to go there with loml, but it's intriguing to me. Why is it we sleep in the same bed these days, especially if it's causing us to sleep badly? Besides the obvious bonuses of being in the same bed, I personally refuse to give up the spontaneous chats.

2010-12-05T21:38:00.000-06:00

Comcast DNS is down - this meant that for 10 minutes just now I thought I was going to write a mea culpa tomorrow for not even making it 5 days. But I had good luck (or a good boyfriend) and am now using google dns in my router and all is right with the world.

Tonight loml and I went out to the burbs and had a mini holiday celebration with his parents. They do it every year - attending some kind of wintery/christmasy event. In the past they've seen the Nutcracker, been to a live nativity, seen the Snow Queen, etc. We attended "Bending Toward the Light: A Jazz Nativity". Clearly this is something I never would have considered attending on my own (in a church!). But I'm really glad I did. What a weird performance. Mary did modern dance. The choral singers "scatted". But the best, by far, were the three kings. I don't even know how to lead into this so...The Trumpet King, The Latin Percussion King and the Tap Dancing King. Each with their own performance during the song. It was fantastically weird and awesome.

Still stuffy and sneezy. Off to take a bit more nyquil and cough in bed all night. Night kids.

2010-12-04T21:03:00.000-06:00

I had a post planned for today. It was about loml and i. Because today is an anniversary - we've been together a year and a half now. It honestly seems like we've been together much longer than that most of the time. Though I occasionally do find myself thinking - wait, we are together AND live together? Whoa.

I can't write that sappy post because I can't stop sneezing. Loml commented, while we were trying to put the laundry away, that he doesn't think he's sneezed as much in his entire life. And currently, i'm managing to hold the sneezes in - and oh my god it hurts. This may be the worst cold I've had in years. Cold symptoms unrelated to lungs. Though I did hypothesize that when I went to the doctor to get better, it's possible I picked this up. Sister and brother-in-law who stopped by the house - take some emergen-C now.

SNEEZE. I'll write a sappy belated anniversary loml post as soon as i stop with the snot. Nyquil take me away...

2010-12-03T19:58:00.000-06:00

My coworker (and katie + blog = fun? devotee...hahahaha) says this blog has been all doom and gloom lately. Hopefully some of that will be dispelled with blogging every day. I'll have to blog when crap is going wrong AND when I'm happy. I really do love this house and loml is great and I have a fun filled December ahead. It's just way more entertaining to you all (and therapeutic for me) if I tell you of all the wild times. And lately those have been bad luck related. I mean, who wants to hear about the mostly fun/best so far holiday work party? Where I bowled an 81? And ate pizza and talked to the people I like at work? Meh, I'm bored even writing it.

And so continues the sometimes gloomy posting.

I got my test results back from the belabored breathing doctor's appointment and I need more tests. Exact phrase: "blood vessel anomaly". Continue with your regularly scheduled program while I wonder what the hell that means and hope for pneumonia and not lymphoma. These were the only two possibilities my doctor mentioned during the quick chat we had. She prescribed antibiotics and started the process to get an MRI appointment. I'm pretty sure I don't have cancer, but I guess you'll all have to wait and see with me.

2010-12-02T19:35:00.000-06:00

I present to you, without further explanation, an emotional storm.

This is the gear room.

That door ahead of you opens into the electric meter closet.
This is the meter on the floor while the gas company was working on it (from the very first trip); picture credit: loml instagr.am.

Please note the ledge and it's height off of the floor. Notice all those pipes on the right blocking easy access. The meter hangs in the large empty space on the left - pretty much right in front of the ledge. How and where does a fat cat hurl her body up there and squeeze in? We will never know.
This is what it looks like when you are sure the cat is in the wall and loml suggests we take a flash picture.

Click on that one to enlarge. The dark lump in the back is Boku.
I immediately try zoom, then take a picture.

Click on that one to enlarge. This is the moment (5:05pm from the timestamp) that I started to completely break down. Because in that image in kind of looks like Boku is stuck on her back legs. I can't stop seeing it like that. Like she was trying to climb to the right and got stuck in a slightly ramped position. That white bit at the bottom left is her paw. Does anyone else see that?
From this point until around 5:25 I was inconsolable. We couldn't get Boku to move or make any noise. I have almost 20 pictures trying to document some kind of change. Anything. Nothing. Because Boku was dead, remember?

The first glance into the hole. Still didn't have the best angle/ability to see her.

The second glance. It was NOT a back paw. It was white ass hair + insulation = visual trickery.
And then we had this. picture credit: loml instagr.am

Now we have a handy dad fixing up that hole. It will be mended before any of you will ever get a chance to see it with your own two eyes. And I am so happy for that.

2010-12-01T21:29:00.002-06:00

I really should have done Nablopomo. I know I should have. And last month would have been a banner month to do it. So much random crap happened. And by "random crap happened" I mostly mean "shit went wrong". There are about a dozen stories I should have told you. And now I will distill it all into one post of bullet points.

I'm thinking about writing every day this month. Don't hold me to it, but I need to kickstart my impulse to blog. And what better way than to force it? I should probably "save" up these stories if I truly mean to do this...but I have a hunch a ton of random crap is going to happen again.

My basement was finished. Stuff was moved in. It's becoming a two floor home.
Since we've been down there more, we realized it smelled like gas in the gear room *the bedroom will henceforth be the gear room*. Gas company was called. They replaced some apparatus that held the meter in place.
Next day, couldn't find the cat. The feral mama cat. Boku. Boku, seeing the open door to the meter closet, jumped up to a ledge (2-3 feet off teh ground) and climbed inside the wall. Probably about 7 feet inside the wall. And we only found her because I'm a crazy cat lady and just knew she was in there. She didn't make any noise. We poked her with a tape measure (it was the only thing long enough). No noise. We tapped on the wall. No noise. In our eyes, she had climbed into a dark, quiet spot to die. Boku died. So we had to get her out. Loml was the calm eye stuck in the middle of my emotional storm. He got a saw and proceeded to cut a hole in the wall. And opened it up to Boku staring at him. THAT BITCH WASN'T DEAD. Sorry, just needed to rage there for second. She is alive, well and coaxed out of the hole with some tuna. Ever since the sawing episode, though, she is deathly afraid of Loml. Tides turned? No longer the favorite?
And then it still smelled like gas. We called again a week later. SURPRISE, the gas is at blow up levels. And since the leak is "on our side" of the piping, they turned off the gas and left. At 2pm on Black Friday. So I called a plumbing company and had to pay emergency rates to get some dudes out to fix it. The gas company comes back (2 hours later. No gas, I was told, is not an emergency). This gas-man (cue taxman by beatles) picked my basement apart; there is a lot wrong in the boiler room. Anyway, he kindly fixed one of the leaks (by tightening a cap) himself and turned our gas on. So far, we haven't smelled gas again.
My contractor dinged me with an assortment of extra costs. That made me ill for a few days. I bitched it up to him though and cut those extra costs in half. Though I still have extra costs. Sigh.
Of course, as you know, I got the IUD. And my body is reacting to it in all kinds of ways including, but not limited to, teenage pimple face, crazy mood swings and weird junk I don't want to share. I know my body is getting used to not being on the pill but I'd really like it to cut me a break. Though, bigger picture, I think (as long as it's in the right place still) my reaction has been mild. I'm not in pain or anything (some people have cramps for months). I will say (TMI ahead) that I cannot reach or feel any strings that I'm supposed to be checking. Hopefully my next check up will show that everything is in the right place and I'm set to not have babies.
I woke up a few nights ago having chest pain. Not sure why I woke up, but it was hurting with every breath. I got a litany of tests today that will hopefully show that I am super healthy and had a random asthma-y thing. No results yet though. As an aside, my general doc asked if i was still on birth control, I explained about the IUD and she just sort of briskly said, oh even better. All doctors love this thing, eh?

I'm sure I'm forgetting things. For another day...

2010-11-10T18:43:00.004-06:00

This post is about my lady parts, detailed tidbits, so consider yourself warned.

I shouted an expletive at the doctor's office today. It slipped out with a couple of ouches and noises of pain. Because today I got an IUD. There's a devilish part of me that wants to put a medical drawing here of an IUD in a uterus, but I'll restrain myself. The copper paragard T is in my womb.

And let me just say that it was painful. And my body was confused afterwards (still is). So here's the run down. If you don't want details, stop reading.

Basically it was 4 stages of painfulness. I'm on the table, speculum'd up. I get cleaned out with iodine. She warns me that my cervix is closed tight. So, in order to dilate it, she pokes it. That's right. She poked it. Didn't feel all that great, but it didn't necessarily hurt. That's level 1 pain there. Then she clamps something on to it (I believe her explanation was "I'm going to clamp something now".) I don't know why. Maybe she needed to keep it open. I forgot to clarify at that point. The clamping burned a little, so pain level 2. Not the worst, though my doc, at this point, was astounded that I didn't even flinch. Then she needed to measure my uterus to get the IUD sized correctly. And this my friends, is what I'll call pain level 4. I guess I wasn't expecting the pain, but I did say (in a very low shout voice) "oh shit ow ow ow ow" as it was happening. It felt like the end of the world in my womb. Like she was stabbing it with a knife. Incidentally, my uterus is size 7cm. Pain level 3 happened with the actual insertion of the IUD, which she claims should have hurt the worst. Maybe I was ready for it at that point, but while it hurt a lot, I grimaced and breathed evenly and didn't feel the need to shout.

The immediate aftermath was intense. I think my body went into a mild version of shock (maybe the surprising level of pain did it) so I started shaking, I got insanely hot and I felt like I might puke all over. I also felt a little off-kilter. Some of those things lasted only 10 minutes. Some came with me on the train home.

Right now I'm having waves of weirdness. I just feel like there's something off in the lady parts. For chunks of time it's hard to get comfortable. Sometimes I feel completely fine and just feel a bit full in that area, like a normal menstrual thing. I'm having some cramping off and on too, though it's not nearly as bad as some of my worst period cramps.

I went with an IUD, and specifically with the copper one, because I just got really tired of the hormonal side effects of the pill. I tried switching pills to see if maybe that would help, but then it's just a new handful of side effects. I'm super hopeful that this is going to be easy, crazy effective birth control. Something I never have to think about. From everything I've read, it sounds like the first six months can be interesting. So I plan on sharing here. Part of the reason I started researching IUD's is because of Lena Chen's experience, so I feel like I should behave in kind and write about mine. Only with more gory details.

This doesn't fit here at all, but the deck is going up and it's going to be awesome. Getting rid of the janky enclosed porch was definitely the right decision.

2010-11-09T20:19:00.000-06:00

Phew, I've been meaning to write pretty much every day since the last time I wrote. One of those posts was going to be about how I am broke, one about how I'm having some issues with some extra poundage around the old belly but the house is making it impossible to go to the gym regularly, one about how contractors are idiots, one wondering how one goes about selling a hot tub, and so on and so on.

Apparently being a homeowner is taking all of my brainpower right now. But I feel lighter lately because it's almost over. Loml and I will have a house - right now loml, I and five random men have a house.

And the reason for finally writing this post is to say - we're moving in to the basement this weekend. Or some of our stuff finally will. I cannot wait. And here is your final tour.

Our jelly jar stairwell.

Looking into the basement (I'm standing on the bottom stair). Yes, I am in the process of doing 80 loads of laundry that have been overflowing the hamper. Basically you're looking into the second family room here.

The bathroom, sans vanity top. I ordered the vanity top yesterday, it's the basic "generic" top from the vanity company. So. Same company. Pretty sure it's not going to fit. The sinks are not going to fit in the holes correctly.

The toilet nook. The nook is to the left in the picture above. That is a fancy japanese toilet. It has a button flush on top, you can chose between a small flush and a serious flush. Saving the environment...

This is taken standing in the toilet nook. That is my lovely shower. There is a little seat to the right in the shower that you cannot see.

The bottom of the stairs is right to the right there. Looking back, the "stripey" door used to go on a cedar closet, so that's cedar you're seeing. That door goes to a bedroom/loml's gear room. The nook on the left is going to be shelving. Except, we need perfectly fitting shelves. Good idea construction foreman, lackluster follow through. Door on the right is storage.

The family room/loml's room basically look like blank rooms with this same flooring. It's pretty lovely. And also really dusty. There's the laundry buzzer, gotta go grab those sheets and make the bed.

After this weekend, open invitation to you all to come over. The back porch has been ripped off the house and the deck is going up quickly, so here's hoping we'll be planning an open house housewarming sometime in the next few weeks.

2010-10-26T21:42:00.000-05:00

Things I know now that I didn't two months ago:

Built in microwaves are not meant for short people. It really looks nice and saves space, but I can't see the food as it cooks. The kitchen is going to become an obstacle course of step-stools at some point.
There might be something to this whole robe thing. I think I need a waffle robe or something similar for my mornings. All the windows have no blinds and most of my morning routine involves states of partial undress.
Sometimes we live under a flight path. Either that or sometimes the flights all sound like they're about to crash out of the sky. It only happens occasionally that they're super loud and I think it may have a correlation with inclement weather - but man, 20 planes sounded like they were going to fall out of the sky tonight (loml once described it as sounding like the Lost airplane).
Sleeping with a boy for a month can suddenly make it hard to not sleep with a boy and that offends me.

The bathroom downstairs look amazing. And the basement is getting close. Loml wandered around down there a bit last night and besides his being certain the house is going to fall down around us, we're both looking forward to having it as actual living space. Two weeks from today?

2010-10-17T21:19:00.000-05:00

The bathroom tile looks amazing. I'm annoyed with the construction but also excited. I think the tension of that is exhausting me. Work has been kind of exhausting as well. I'm just tired. That is all.

From the doorway. You can see the pipes for the double sinks/vanity on the left. I bought the vanity today, online. Fingers crossed it actually looks like the picture. On top of that black edging, the wall will be painted green. Romaine to be specific.

Thought I should get a close up. The tile for this bathroom was expensive. Glass on the walls, marble on the floors. There is no grout just yet...

2010-10-17T21:01:00.000-05:00

Journal swap round 4: librarian

I like to think that she was feeling wild, free ranging like a zebra.

2010-10-12T18:56:00.000-05:00

Journal swap round 4: me.

I made this quite a while ago and I believe this was during some crazy times with the house purchasing process.

2010-10-06T19:52:00.001-05:00

Bits and pieces today.

***

Currently I have three space heaters running; this place will be a bearable temperature tomorrow. I will continue to run up the electricity bill until it happens.

***

I have a few journal swap posts in the works, rounds 4 and 5. Or round 4 and half of 5. The posts are about to become even farther apart as my swapping companion is about to move states. So we're going to embark on a mission to save the post office with our journal swap mailings. We have welllll over half of each journal left. It may be years at this point.

***

Last night I was at a friend's house and came home later than usual. I came home to Boku staring at me out the front door. Apparently she's taken on the role of guard-cat.

And one last crazy cat-lady picture to share. This makes me happy. We all love the house (though will be happier when the construction is over).

2010-10-03T13:25:00.000-05:00

I haven't been feeling all that well lately. Just tired and headachey, chesty and dribbly. It's been a while, and at first I think it was allergies. Then it was allergies compounded by my terrible handling of move stress. Then it was that compounded by a different schedule because there's a boy in my bed every night. Next, mix in the smell of paint and stain that has been heavy in the house for the past week. So now, it is allergies? Am I sick? Or is my body just angry at me? Apologies for the blank blog and stares, for the missing me for the past two weeks. The contractor keeps promising two weeks. So let's say that by Halloween, I should be 100%. If not before.

Living with another person, after 6 years of solitary....it's been hilarious and fun and maddening and exhausting. Loml and I are having a good time. I do worry that he's bored a lot, a lot of his stuff was left in the basement at his house. But I'm trying not to hover or worry or nag like a 60 year old wife.

Gotta go scrape some windowpanes and clean a square of grout on the floor in the bathroom...

2010-09-25T18:32:00.003-05:00

Please forgive me for being terrible at taking pictures. Basement pictures below. Good luck figuring out how the basement is set up from the photos you're about to see. Over the fact that it's not my strong suit? Good, now we can all move on.

Being a homeowner is really odd. Sometimes I pause and think 'We live here.' Kind of incredulously. And then it immediately follows 'I own this house.' And then I scratch my head, say 'huh' to myself, smile a little and continue on with whatever I'm doing.

I will say, I have a lot of new respect for homeowners. And very little respect for the homeowner who owned this house before me. It appeared to my mom on move in weekend that she never cleaned. It also appears she didn't take much pride in the house. The french doors featured yesterday have glue on every single windowpane. It takes a little time and a razor blade to get the glue off. And then they look like new. From what we have learned about the house, those doors have been there since 2004. Six years of dirty looking french doors? I'm not even a very clean person and I find that impossible.

Basement picture extravaganza! Try to remember the last picture show. I managed to fail at taking that same perspective shot and am too lazy to go downstairs and fix it (no access from inside the house, have to get a key, unlock the door, etc, etc).

From the bottom of the stairs looking west. That rough bit of floor is where the stairs used to come down. The bookshelf is an add on from the foreman, a way to hide a jumble of ceiling pipes that turn in to the utility room at that point.

From the bottom of the stairs looking south. Door on the left is the bathroom. On the right is utility room. Notice the height different of those doors and then weep a little inside for loml's head and any tall friends of his.

From the bottom of the stairs looking east. Loml makes his first very sinister actual appearance on this blog, if you don't count his feet from the first picture. In the picture it looks like he's walking in to the laundry closet (to his left). To his right is the "rec room" where the TV/couch will be.

From the bottom of the stairs looking north. Floor drain! That rough floor is where the shower closet was. You know, the closet with a wooden door that you opened to a surprise shower. Complete with drain that has no plumbing.

"loml's room". Will have a bed in that nook and lots of gear in the rest of the room. Today he actually purchased a $4 prize to hang on a few walls in there. You should ask him about it.

The bathroom. First left will have a vanity. Second left is a toilet nook. Up to the right, to the right of the window is our custom shower.

2010-09-24T18:09:00.000-05:00

This is what it looks like when you have a wall that doesn't say "family a journey to forever":

And this is what it looks like to have a front entry way with stuff in it (including cat):

Still settling in. Probably will be for the next month. I promise I will get pictures of the basement again, hopefully tomorrow. Slight hitch to that plan is that the contractor is coming tomorrow and we are going to have to argue a bit about the bathroom door - so I may be in a tizzy and full of hate for the basement. But soon, I swear.

2010-09-19T10:07:00.000-05:00

Not to make this all about the cats, but WOW yesterday was a doozy. Boku needed antibiotics, like I said yesterday. I tried on my own to grab her and give them to her and received quite a few hideous scratches on my arms and hand (keep in mind she only has back nails, this was some acrobatic freaking out).

Then, later in the day, loml's dad donned protective gear and loml and I followed him around with syringes. She freaked out, cornered herself in the litter box and became FERAL CAT FROM HELL. Hissing, spitting, growling, doing cat acrobatics to avoid being grabbed, etc. He only got ahold of her once and when I put that syringe in her mouth she went mental. So. Boku has had no antibiotics or painkillers. Hopefully her missing tooth will not get infected. But at this point, I don't feel like I'd blame myself even if it did. We tried. Really, really hard.

Cut to last night. For a few hours, she sporadically came into our bedroom meowing loudly, angrily, needily. I don't know what was wrong. At one point loml got up to see what she needed. Came back and she was quiet for a bit. Then she started up again. I went out to see what I could do for her (I showed her food and water in case that was what she couldn't locate). Got back in bed. She was quiet again, for a bit, then came back.

Me: It's like having a baby.
Loml: A fat, toothless baby.

Eventually she stopped wandering around meowing. I think it was around 5:30. Somehow though, last night I got the best sleep I've had here yet. Getting used to the new bed/new house has taken a bit. And now I have to return to work tomorrow, unhappily.

Next time, hopefully no more about the cats.

2010-09-18T12:08:00.000-05:00

I live here now. Here as in, the house I purchased.

***

I'm currently preparing to grab Boku and force antibiotics down her throat. She's finally come out from hiding in the following places:

The litterbox
The very back of the closet
Under the couch

She's taking antibiotics because she has very few teeth these day, specifically one less than before her trip to the vet and three less than the last time I saw in her mouth. The canines fell out somewhere in the apartment. I already missed my chance to grab her - she's wandering around now, curious, finally. She just found the front door, where she can see nature. It's a whole new world here. I think nature scared her, I cannot find her again and antibiotics are still in a syringe on the coffee table.

Mona did fine, came out yesterday to get some loving and then hid behind the bed in the guestroom all night. Baby steps.

Someone found the food/water and someone used the litter box, so all in all, cat acclimation is going OK.

***

The move went really well. Nothing got broken, everything found it's place and there was only one fight. Miscommunication between myself and loml caused Drama with a capital D when it came time to pay the movers. But, that fight lasted only a very short time. Then we were busy fighting about the cats. Kidding, kidding.

I still have quite a bit to do around here. When the basement is done, then it will fall into place. And suddenly we won't have nearly enough stuff to fill this house. But right now? There's enough stuff. I have to continue to put it on shelves and ferret it into corners.

I'll try to get some pictures and update on the construction in the next few days. Now though, I have stuff to dust and windowpanes to clean.

2010-09-06T22:07:00.002-05:00

As I'm packing up the piles of junk, I found my "scrapbook" for senior year of college. And by scrapbook I mean, an empty scrapbook and piles of pictures. Only three pages had pictures selected for them (individual piles of pictures stuck between pages). The rest was just a pile of the year. And wow. Looking through all my crap (and I still feel like there are one too many piles of crap sitting around) has been illuminating. And scary.

Senior year of college I look so...young. I was heavier then, but my body doled that weight out differently than it does now, so my stomach isn't so bad, but my cheeks! Wow.

Then there are the pictures of dancing on poles. Katie drunk face everywhere (this just means I have my mouth open wide in wild, drunken laughter). And then there's the incriminating picture of me with a stripper all up in my lap. I'm laughing, clearly mortified and I look like I might be about to poke his chest like "is this real?".

Lessons learned:

Go back to the gym, lady.
Never allow your friends to take a picture of you when there is a stripper in the room.
Never attend anything involving a stripper in close quarters again. I do not need to have that experience ever again.
Look through old pictures more than once every 6 years.

2010-09-01T21:09:00.001-05:00

I have an irrational, ridiculous hate for the word ablution.

Out of all the words to hate, I realize it's not a real winner. I read romance novels, so I know how many terrible words there are out there in the world (or I know how many terrible words there are to describe sex and anything sexual). I mean. Quim. Mons. Member. Bulge. Sheath. Explosions.

And yet, I read ablution and want to throw a book down in disgust. Just wipe it up, nothing fancy.

2010-08-28T13:02:00.001-05:00

There are two things you should know today:

I grow pimples better than you. I mean, I am a champion at stress-fueled geysers. I have two monsters on my face right now that don't seem to be going away.
My current plan to get the cats to the vet (to be boarded while I move) involves starving them. This makes me feel cruel and at the same time, like a dastardly genius. It was loml's idea to get them used to the carriers by putting the food in them. I will, in fact, take it to the next level and starve them so that they both enter the carriers at the same time to get said food. I just tried it and it went more smoothly than I even hoped. I am planning on torturing my cats to make life easier. Someone call animal control.

2010-08-26T18:21:00.000-05:00

I feel like I've lost my steam with this story, I am done with it. I'll finish up quickly here.

So it's closing day. I asked loml to come with me, due to my irrational fear of the seller. A couple of hours before the closing, the realtors, loml and I had the final walkthrough. And happily, the seller was gone. She wasn't staging any sort of hostile takeover. It appeared she did most of the items she said she did, so we were all set to close.

At the closing, all was going well. The seller didn't show. Her lawyer was personable. Mine was running me through the first round of paper work. And then, somehow, it came up that my mortgage was entered as waiving escrow. I never planned on waiving escrow - I always wanted my taxes and insurance to be rolled into my monthly payment. The mortgage broker and I never even discussed changing this. And here was my mortgage, no escrow. I explained, in an angry voice, that this was NOT right. She started to figure out what to do. And then mortgage broker walked in. I think it's unusual for these guys to show up at the closing. There he was, all subdued shame due to the problems he had already caused. In the end, he saved his own ass by showing up and he got the situation rectified, though I wouldn't say it happened quickly.

And so I own a house. I own a house that is currently in a serious state of construction. I now get to decide whether or not to lop off the back of the house due to a seriously unstable and dangerous enclosed porch situation. I only have really terrible pictures of it so be warned. The porch goes along the back of the house. Half of it is off of the kitchen and is a mudroom. The other half is off of a bedroom and is a fabulous closet. Here are the only terrible pictures I have. Mudroom on left, closet on right.

2010-08-22T21:19:00.000-05:00

Time for a shift. Here's where I vilify my mortgage broker instead of the seller. It's July 16. The same day that I got the great news about the contractor. I got a voicemail from the broker the night of the 15th. It was confusing, basically he suggested that I get the mortgage without my Dad. I knew I could qualify on my own but never considered it because then my Dad's down payment help would have to be taxed. If he signs with me, he's not giving me the money as a gift, he's just putting money down for our mortgage.

So. July 16th. I call the broker back from work. We no longer qualify for the loan. Panic. Rage.

Remember when my mortgage was pre-approved more than a month before this, the mortgage that included my Dad? Yeah, the mortgage guy fucked up royally. And in the terms of the contract, I had to have my loan secured by July 23rd. And my Dad is in France. The mortgage broker and his assistant somehow missed one of my Dad's debts. Please consider that about a year before he had also done my sister's mortgage, with my Dad cosigning and at that time the debt existed as well. Moral of this story: records are important. Filing. Cross-referencing. Look at the damned mortgage you did last year and start from there.

So basically the options, as mortgage broker (MB) saw them and emailed them to me that day:

My dad would gift me the money and be taxed off of his ass.
I would have to just take a larger mortgage and in a year, pay down the mortgage with the lump sum from my dad.

If you could all take a second and very seriously analyze these options, I'll break down the very rude phone call I made to my MB.

Unacceptable. He'll be paying out the ass.
I lose a full year of mortgage payments. Because this option is essentially a refinance. Also, my payments would be huge for that year. And there's no guarantee that they would get smaller at the time of the lump sum payment. Cluster.

My Dad's solution was to loan me the money. "Loan". Mortgage broker, on the phone, said that was not possible as I would no longer qualify on my own with the loan. Here's where I went full on bitch. It went something like this.

Mortgage broker: No, you can't accept a loan as this would adversely affect your asset to debt ratio and you no longer would qualify. Do you understand?

Me: No actually, I don't. First, how did the debt get missed? (imagine full on dripping bitchiness)

MB: That was my fault, I apologize.

Me: Second, you want me to take a full mortgage, right? One which I qualify for on my own? How is it possible that I no longer qualify for a mortgage if I take the loan? Smaller mortgage + LOAN should equal bigger mortgage. There are no missing variables here. I would be borrowing the same amount of money in both cases, only from my Dad my interest rate is lower. So technically, if I got a loan from my Dad, my asset to debt ratio is BETTER.

MB: .................(long silence). That makes sense. I'm not at my desk. Let me work on some things and call you back.

Yes, that's right, I schooled my mortgage broker in finance. I HATE THAT DUDE.

Eventually we worked it out and I got a loan from my dad for the down payment, which is technically a second lien on the house. But don't worry, mortgage broker fucks up again, at the closing. See you next time.

As a complete side note, I got an email on July 21st that my closing was scheduled for August 5th. If you'll remember, it took us weeks to settle on August 16th. I had a brief panic attack when I got that email and imagined the seller engaged in some kind of hostile takeover of the house - living in it for free for 11 days. Truth is, she just didn't want to pay the fees.

Not sure what to share, so here's the tiny yard patch. Garage on the right.

2010-08-18T21:34:00.004-05:00

Brief interlude: I just want to say that I cannot wait to move into the house. Writing these posts has actually been a bit of a bummer. Re-living the insanity. But I do want it all here as a record of these past few months, so I'll soldier on. Only three more to go until the house is mine.

This is the part of the story where I brew a bubbling pot of hatred for the seller. I was leery at the inspection. I was angry and full of dislike at the closing date business.

The day after the agreement was set, all the earnest money was down and we were just waiting for closing, I contacted my realtor to arrange a time to get some contractors into the house. There was a lot to be done at the house - pathetic head room on the stairs to the basement, all the worst from the inspection, and I wanted to create a great finished basement. So my realtor asked me when I wanted to go. I told him a couple of times. And this is the response he got from the seller's realtor:

Sorry, but my client does not want to allow any contractors to come through prior to closing. She is in the process of packing and her children are at home during the day. She would prefer that Katie wait until they move out. I'm sorry. I did try.

And now I'm holding a pot of hate stew. This was a month and a half before closing. And apparently, something my realtor had never had happen. NEVER. HATE.

The next post happens before this next bit, but this bit fits here. Two weeks later, I got an email from my realtor. All it said was "The seller reconsidered and is offering these times" with a forwarded message from her realtor complete with two dates to choose from. I was astonished. So I chose one of the dates and flat out asked my realtor what happened. This is his response:

Yeah, I kind of embarrassed [the realtor] into it. Here is my email I sent yesterday: Would you please ask the seller to reconsider allowing Katie in to meet contractors. In my 15 years of selling real estate I have never once seen this courtesy denied by a seller. It will help Katie a great deal if she can line up her workers so she can get work started faster after Closing. Thank you.

Seriously guys, you should use my realtor. He is the best.

Since I'm so excited about what is going on in my house right now, here's a before and after with the basement. There's a slight perspective error here, I'm a bit farther back in the before. But, go with it.

Edit: the new blogger editor is a POS that creates the ugliest HTML ever. As a developer I OBJECT.

2010-08-16T19:18:00.003-05:00

I caved. $1200 credit it was.

Also, from here on out you should assume that I'm crying.

Ok, so it's June 23 now. I don't know how to recreate the next 7 days chronologically, so I'll just scrap that and say that the inspection/attorney approval period lasted for 7 more days. And the reason why is NUTS.

As I said before, my mortgage rate was already well locked. I had a 60 day rate lock. It was set to expire on August 5th. There is a daily fee for closing later than that expiry. As I also said, I wanted to honor the agreed upon July 30th closing date.

The seller decided that "the period" had been too long and she needed extra time. She wanted to move on the weekend of August 14-15. However she did not want to pay the fee for the extension. Her desired solution was that we close on August 5th and she live in the house for 10 more days free of charge.

Yes, that's right. She thought it within her rights, logical and perfectly sane to request to live in what would legally be my house for 10 days for free.

I was already leery. She had already lost me with her taking my expensive inspection, reading it, fixing superficial stuff and saying, eh, fuck off I'll find another offer. Now she's asking to live in the house I own for 10 days free of charge? Basically she wanted me to pay the fee for the extension or to pay for 10 days of mortgage. NO WAY.

So for seven days I sat and waited while lawyers went back and forth. I tried to figure out if I was being unreasonable (I was not. I was willing to honor the original signed contract so I should not be financially punished). Eventually someone talked sense into her (I believe it may have been her realtor) and on June 30th "the period" was finally over. She agreed to close on August 16th and pay the fee for the mortgage extension.

Today one of my coworkers told me he was reading this and that he hoped the house was worth it. I had to laugh because little did he know there were at least four more posts of insanity and tears ahead. Now, three more.

Front entryway. Hard to tell what's happening here. A little ways forward on the right is the front door, taken from the living room through some french doors...

2010-08-15T21:20:00.001-05:00

Roughly the next day we got a response from the seller. She agreed to handle items 1, 6 (just remove ivy), 7 (her answer was to call ComEd), 9 (recontact electricians who did the work initially), 13, 15, 16 (just clean the pipe), 17, 18 and 19. It also stated that due to the lengthy inspection period, she wanted closing moved up from our signed contracted date of July 30th. It is currently June 17th.

Seems like she agreed to do a lot, though as far as I can tell, she did not handle very many of those things. But I didn't know that until the final walk-through and by then I was so tired of the whole process I just let it slide.

Anyway, that left 12 items she said would "remain as is." Most of which were very expensive projects. I worked my butt off getting quotes for the bigger items (tuckpointing, chimney liner, asbestos). I handed over what I thought was a very reasonable offer for a $4000 credit. I also responded that I preferred to stick with July 30th. I had locked my mortgage rate already and that lock expired on August 5th. If the closing is after that date, there are fees.

She countered with a $1200 credit. Here's the the thing. This all happened on Monday the 21st. I don't have any documentation of her original counter-offer (that $1200). However, I know I then offered to split the difference (sort of) and go for a credit of $2000.

June 22nd. Day 12 of the period. Her response was forwarded to my lawyer courtesy of hers. Here is where the tears start. Her email to her lawyer for your viewing pleasure:

I already sent you the receipts from the plumber's visit and Orkin. We took off the ivy and installed the toilet kit ourselves. The electrician already came out to assess the inspector's claim that the wiring was wrong. He fixed a few minor things on the list but their is no receipt. I can try to get him to put something in writing. ComEd came out and looked at the tree and said it is a low voltage wire and it is not impacting service so they would not trim the tree, maybe they would later after they finish their emergency storm work? The tree is on my neighbor's property and I cannot trim it anymore than I already have from my garage roof. I will paint the rest of the exposed tile in the basement.

We could not find any red tape where the inspector stated he marked gas leaks. the boiler was just serviced in March and no leaks were detected.

____, I apologize for this going on so long without an agreement but I am not going to accept her counter. I said $1200 was my final offer. Let the buyer know, I thank her for her interest in my home.

I will clean the house and do some of the work left and try again for another offer.

$800. And she's putting the house back on the market. At this point, I already had almost $3,500 sunk into the house (earnest money and inspections of various kinds, etc). June 22, that was not a good day.

Something to cheer us all up, built-in:

2010-08-13T19:29:00.002-05:00

It is really hard to write these posts, concerning 2 months ago, when so much is happening right now. Rooms painted! Basement gutted! Stairs gone! But we'll get to that. For now, let's get on with the inspection.

The inspection/attorney approval period (herein referred to as "the period") was ill timed - my sister's wedding was at the end of that week. Therefore the lawyers agreed to extend it to 7 days instead of 5.

My realtor recommended the inspector, who was fabulous. This is another person that I would be happy to recommend. He went everywhere in the house (including the attic, only accessible by a tiny square hole in a closet). He took pictures of everything. My report ended up being thirty pages.* Thirty pages of old house rickety money-pit wonder. To be fair, it was not unexpected. Old house = issues. I went in hoping for no major structural issues. And there were none.

*I met my neighbor on Tuesday night. She is fantastically nice and has the coolest garage - a brick wonder with a beautiful deck on top. It sounds like my street has a lot of of very friendly, busy body types. This will ultimately be great and annoying. Anyway, I digressed from my original digression. She mentioned that the whole neighborhood was impressed with my inspector/inspection report. They all saw it and feared the magnificence that was my inspector. The seller was amazed by all the things wrong/the thoroughness.

In the end, we (realtor + me + loml) narrowed it down to 22 items that were of concern. Yeah, 22 items was narrowed down from a billion. For your viewing pleasure, I've transcribed my realtors notes below. These are in order that they appeared in the report. This list was sent, on or around day 8 of the period, to the seller's lawyer...

Aluminum capping or wood replacement
Chimney liner
Tuckpoint Chimney
Seal at base of north wall along gangway
Seal all open areas around exterior
Ivy has deteriorated frame walls (rotted) on garage
Trees trimmed
GFCI's throughout
Address all electrical issues
Replace cracked vent stack
Replace copper to galvanized connections with proper fittings
Shower in basement has no waste lines
Gas leaks
Water pressure
Leaking main bathroom cleanout
Improper plumbing under kitchen sink & at dishwasher
Toilet problems
Where are missing storms & screens?
Rodent control - mice
Smoke & carbon monoxide detectors
Asbestos floor tiles
Porch construction poor

Here are two lovely, kitschy examples of number 21:

2010-08-09T20:33:00.000-05:00

Right before loml and I went back to those two houses, I got pre-approved for a mortgage. Being a single lady with a sizable donation being made by my father, I assumed my dad would need to co-sign. So what I should say is that we got pre-approved. For a mortgage almost twice the size of what I ended up with. Please remember this fact for later posts. It becomes infuriatingly important.

Next step was an offer. I think you should realize that this was all in May. So long ago. My realtor believed the house was way overpriced. The one thing that I want to be clear is that my realtor is awesome - both loml and i are huge fans. I would recommend him to anyone in Chicago. He impressed us on the first outing by somehow owning the building that houses loml's corner store. And it seems like he's lived in every neighborhood or has a sibling in one now. Currently he lives in my sister's hood and his sister lives in my future hood. If you want a recommendation, I'd love to share.

Original offer: 15% less than the listing price. Here's where I lose the full trail of things. I think she came back at 5% less then the listing. That was still too high. We volleyed with a counter-offer of 11% less. And then we didn't hear anything for several days.

I finally heard back, saying that the lady had decided to relist the house at 5% less. The realtor suggested that if we came up just a little, 10% less than her original listing, he thought we'd get the deal. When we discussed the offer from the beginning, the realtor said he thought the house was not worthy of an offer over 10% less than the listing - so we were at the very top of what it was worth. I was already emotionally involved with the house so I said, yes please make the offer.

June 4. One year anniversary with loml. Out to dinner (which turned out to be really bad, foodwise). His phone rings. He says he has to get it. I make a joke about him being a really bad boyfriend for talking during our anniversary meal. It is the realtor. Offer accepted.

I feel like I've set a precedent, so here is a picture of the already trashed/deceased poker room. I think you should know that this poker room kind of sold the house - I loved its kitschy-ness. It was, to my dismay, made of asbestos. More about asbestos later.

2010-08-08T09:22:00.003-05:00

It's a little sad and amazing that I have no idea where to start. The beginning of this process was pretty normal. I had a realtor (I had briefly, at the start of 2009, looked at condos and completely chickened out). I asked him to start pulling stuff on MLS. At the start, I knew, because of the dead real estate market and the fact that I would now have a lodger (loml), that I could afford a building instead of a condo. So the listings were single families, two flats and three flats.

Loml accompanied me on all expeditions, even though it would be my mortgage, I wanted us to both like the place we chose.

After the first trip, it was fairly clear that while I could afford a multi-unit building, any building in my price point would need work. While I wasn't against that, I didn't want to buy a place that would require a ton of time, money and annoyance to get it right. At that point, single family seemed the way to go.

So we went out again, this time to a variety of single families. And on this trip, we saw the house for the first time. As we were walking around in it, I remember whispering to loml that I really liked this one. It was the only house that I did that. And it was allll downhill from there.

On our third trip out, we went back to two single families that we had really liked. And I pretty much settled on the fact that I wanted the whisper house. I wanted it even with this on the wall:

2010-08-05T19:17:00.000-05:00

Oh man, today I became a woman.

I am officially a homeowner. And wow, it has been a comedy of errors. Except most of the time I didn't find it very funny at all. I definitely cried far more often than I laughed. Over a few posts I'll tell you the whole sordid story. The offer! The never ending inspection/attorney approval period! The "goofy" seller! The contractors! The mortgage broker! And again, the mortgage broker! <shakes fist>THE MORTGAGE BROKER</shakes fist>.

I did not handle the process gracefully. I didn't even handle it all that well. But I came out on the other end with a house that I love completely.

2010-08-01T14:14:00.002-05:00

Currently organizing my life. I've been weeding and getting ready to pack (need boxes before I can actually pack) this morning. I will tell you more about the move/process of finding a place to move sometime after Thursday. Let's hope I remember all the gory details. Anyway, two things I'm currently a bit stuck on:

DVD collection. I think over the past six years here, I've probably watched only a quarter of them. With Netflix and streaming, I feel like the idea of a collection (especially one so woeful and crappy as mine) is obsolete. I kind of want to be ruthless and get rid of the majority...there's really no reason I'd regret this, right?
Old schoolwork. Only grad work, which is relevant to my current occupation. I graduated 2 years ago though. I have, in fact, referenced it on a few occasions. Sometimes it has been helpful to others in the program. But it takes up almost a whole shelf in my fairly wide bookcase. Do I continue to lug it around? Weed it and only lug most of it? Or just trash it all?

Back to it.

2010-07-11T14:16:00.002-05:00

I love Netflix. But I'm still pissed about their slow phase out of the friends feature.

I'm currently close to the end of the documentary, No End in Sight. It makes me sad that I really had no idea about the beginnings of this current Iraq war. I like to excuse myself because I was in college - but that's no excuse to be so completely uninformed. It is crazy how decisions were made, how that war was undertaken. And suddenly I feel that much worse for Obama - I think it's almost impossible to fix that situation. I think Bush or maybe Rumsfeld ruined a country. Literally, broke it.

As I'm watching, I really wanted to know who, of my Neflix friends, had watched this and what they had rated it. Before, it was as simple as visiting the movie information page. Now? I don't even know how I'd find that. I wonder if the Netflix API provides friends information and if someone, somewhere is building a "friendly" movie page.

Did you watch it? If so, would love to hear your thoughts.

I recommend this movie to everyone. Fuck you Donald Rumsfeld.

2010-07-09T08:09:00.002-05:00

I used to sleep walk. I didn't do it often at all but there is a story that my Mom likes to tell. It was the morning. She was in the kitchen with a friend. I walked into the kitchen and tried to sit on the kitchen trash bin. Apparently I needed to go to the bathroom but was still asleep and thought, in my sleep state, that the kitchen trash was the toilet. She managed to redirect me to the bathroom, no harm done. As far as I know, this was not something I repeated, ever.

But last night, I sleep talked. Not so much sleep talked as woke up loml pointing to the bed side table. In my dream I was excited because I wanted him to take a picture with a logo he had designed and, hooray, there was a camera on the bedside table. In real life, I didn't say any of that, just woke him up pointing at the bedside table. I half woke up myself after he gave me a tissue. He was concerned I had been crying and needed a tissue. Really, I just needed a picture of him with that fantastic logo.

When I woke up this morning, I noticed a tissue next to me. And thought, oh shit...that all actually happened.

2010-07-05T13:03:00.000-05:00

It is proof that it was a lovely weekend when you step in cat puke barefooted and don't seem to mind that much; when your stomach is really unhappy and it doesn't matter. A little 409 on the bottom of said foot, doing nothing all day to humor your stomach...and everything is perfect.

I am tempted to do a marathon post here about everything that's been happening in my life for the past few months. I promise it's been more than just knitting and paper craft. I do admit though, ripping up paper and playing with rubber cement has been helping distract me from stress. I'll write more about the stress soon.

***

My grandma has Alzheimer's and it has slowly been getting worse. Yesterday was the first time I really saw her so confused - she was mistaking people for her mother (loml being one of them). She also can't seem to find words for the things she fears she has lost (which she hasn't). We're fairly sure she was trying to find a "lost" key that she was holding. She described it thus:

the black thing
the thing that you put in the city
the part
the part that looks like a clock
(pointing to a plate with american flags on it) like this

My Dad and his siblings mostly remember a fairly stern, mean Mom. She believed in whacking children with brushes and as recently as a few years ago did not hesitate to call her son an asshole. But I remember a really involved grandma that would have us over for sleepovers and let us go through her large collections of junk and take stuff. Who painted and would help us paint pictures. Who had big dogs and was kind of awesome to us.

She is a completely different person now. And it's sad and weird to know that the grandma I knew...even though she's alive and well, is no longer with us.